Move on or waiting?

I hope u read this kmeng komhoch🤣 this name maybe can help remind you who was called you like this. It's been 4months that we haven't talked to each other. How have you been? How is ur mental health? U might be find someone else, be with someone else or losing feeling on me I guess. Also as I knew from my friends they told me that you came back to Khmer? In this 4months I still can't move on from you, can't get you out of my mind even I tried everyday to make myself busy, tryna stopped thinking about you but can't, I really can't. Just know that I love you a lot. We don't even have a lot of memories with each other but why are you so hard for me to unlove u? My friend said "យូរខែហេីយសុខៗទៅចឹងមិនបាននិយាយគ្នា គេមិនបានស្រឡាញ់ហែងទេកុំភ្លេីពេក" and idiot me still here just waiting for that person. Still praying the best for him every day to get everything he worked so hard for.

Feeling bottled up?

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Goodbye Mr. Panda 🐼

I have crushed on him for months and one day I decided to confess. As a result, he didn't reject me and said "Let see how it's going on." It was the sentence that gave me hope to work harder to take his intention. But next next day, he told me that he didn't want to think about something yet and I said okay even my inside hurt me a lot. I cried for whole night and felt like the whole world was collapsing. After this hard situation has gone, I kept talking to him as normal and acted like nothing happen. After then, I have invited him for a gathering but he rejected since he had his personal matter. I also understood about that situation. However, since that day, I didn't text him anymore plus he also didn't text me so I decided badly to MOVE ON. It is so hard for me to suddenly give up on him but I know clearly that no matter how hard I try, I still can't be good enough for him because I am not his type and his intention is not for me. Anyway, sorry for not saying Goodbye and telling you that I have give up on you because I afraid that when I text you, I will fall for u again. I hope you meet someone who you love and she will love you the way you love her. Time will cure everything. 🥺🥺🥺

I am the problem

Why am I the problem? Even if your know how they treated me? If I’m always the problems, there’s no reason to stay alive.

🤍🖤 ur fav colors

Should have known u never loved me cus u never said “i love you” it’s always “love you”. U said I was controlling, stalking, when all I did was ask for your social acc to follow. U never go out with me until it’s our fifth months together and it was only that one time that u hang out with me. U don’t care when it’s my birthday, u don’t care when it’s our anniversary. U always ignored my chat for hours, days and when I asked abt it u always get offended saying ure busy and stuff. I stopped starting convo cus my texts were ignored anyways. And when I ignored u the same way or worse, u get mad? Did u consider my feeling when I sent 5hrs ago but last active 5mins ago, sent 6 hrs active 30mins..? It was always like that. I endured it all, all of ur bare minimum, breadcrumbing, cus I love you too much to let go. And in the end U decided to abandon me. What’s the point of a relationship when ur partner can’t even discuss anything with u and saying they don’t like conflict? And whats the point when ur partner trust others’ words instead of yours? I wanted to know whether U trust me and u chose to trust them. Did u think I don’t know what they were doing? I just wanted to find out whether u trust or love me at all. And I got what u’ve been thinking all along, u never wanted me. :) U just obeyed. :) Should have noticed when I said “I love you” and u replied “I like you”. And I should have trusted my guts and ended thing earlier when I had to spend Christmas and new year alone. Well guess that’s an experience I should have as I have never been in a relationship. Honestly, I really hope u get ur karma. I hope ur daughter meet s’o exactly just like u so u know my father’s feeling when he decided to let u have me but that’s how I got treated. Not sure if u know who I am but I really hope u do. :) From we’re soulmate to our personalities don’t match.

Unpopular opinions

I believe that living together before marriage is necessary. Living with a non-family member is really difficult. yet, living with family members sucks, too. The next level in every relationship is marriage, where people hope to stay together for the rest of their life. I highly recommend living together before getting married. Some of y’all gonna judge me for this but my boyfriend and I are living together for almost a year now but we have been dating for almost 6 years. I have told myself that I would never get married unless we had been living together for 3 years at least. Loving someone and living with someone are two different things. You are two mature adults with habits and lifestyles of your own, its easy to say you know each other very well just dating. As we all know that in Asian households that couples or even fiancé are not living together. I don't know maybe I'm just too modern, I find this ridiculous. Why would you marry someone who you've never lived with? Sure you might think you know their habits but do you really? Now I'm sure someone will argue that many couples moved from their parent's home straight to their new home as a married person. And that these couples usually ended up staying together. But we also have to acknowledge that divorce was not as accepted as it is today. I know that we have “ culture “ but do you really want a surprise? That surprise will result in either "I like it" or "I hate it". You are betting on "I like it", but it's 50/50, so it could also be, "I hate it", which could make you miserable for the rest of your life or this marriage level may not be so permanent. And you know what would happens when you’re divorced? You’re being blamed and pressured from the culture especially when you’re a female. Most of our parents disapproved it because of “ s€x “ but if some of us gotten to know more about S€x Education, it would be just fine. some of us are sensitive about that topic, I know.

A piece of you

I'm scared because if no one makes me feel the way you did. but I'll be ok for a few days but then it hits me, I stop functioning and everything falls apart again. What hurts is that we never really said goodbye. We just kind of ended. And I'm afraid I'll miss you forever. But then again, you didn't say goodbye, and a part of me believes that means you're coming back.

We're just friends...So why lie?

I know you read my messages from your notification. I know that when you claim you were busy, you were actually on your phone scrolling and chatting with your friends in a cafe. When you said you were busy, I know you were playing games or watching a movie. You messaging me is a choice and I messaging you is a duty. You take me for a granted...a friend whom you could rely on in terms of school work. I am that friend whom you could use whenever you feel like you need a female company. I am the friend who is there for you to practice your flirting skills. I am the friend who, after you finish scrolling up and down your newsfeed 5 times, will open the message and decide whether or not u should message back. I am the friend who recieves the message "huh” after 10 hours of trying to ask for help saying "im in pain, there is no one here.” So do not text me five days later that you forgot to check your phone even though I saw you share memes 3 days ago. Do not text an apology and ask about how i felt because i went through hell and you choose to ignore it. Do not look at me with those eyes as if I am the only girl in the world and that no one else matters because clearly I can be on my deathbed right now and you will still decide to check up on me "tomorrow”. Do not share posts about how heartbroken you are when you see me flirt with someone who actually cares about me and do not update me on your activities like we are something when we arent. We're just friends so stop acting like we're lovers and you're the boyfriend giving excuses for ignoring his girlfriend. We're just friends and you are already breaking me apart, taking me for granted, and forcing me up a rollercoaster ride of confusion and pain....imagine how it will be if you are more than a friend.

JUST TELL ME

I deserve to be treated well. Why are you treating me like this? If you don’t wanna talk to me, just tell me. You don’t have to ignore and ghosting me like this. Texting with you is just like replying not talking. Why you made me feels like I’m begging you just to talk to me. If you’re lost interest, just TELL ME. Sorry for accidentally caught feelings for you, but I can’t help it.

Dear My Little Seth <3

I hope you doing well my little Seth. I miss you so so bad. I miss the way we talked. I miss how lovely you are to me. I miss how gentle you are. I miss the way you called me my little Junn, Junn Junn, baby Junn... and I also miss your questions, are you tired? where are you now? what are you doin? have you eaten?... Even though we met by online but i admit that i like you for real. and yeahh, if we are meant to be, we will meet each other again someday. Please be safe, take careeeee, get some rest and dont forget to drink water a lot naaaaa. Sethh San, Anata ga koishī.