I am the problem

Why am I the problem? Even if your know how they treated me? If I’m always the problems, there’s no reason to stay alive.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

I thought I can love you enough to change you

I fought for you and I waited… I thought I could fix you. I chose you, again and again…. but you chose to be an immature man who refuse to communicate and be responsible for your own life. There is no commitment now. Be free. I will move on and love like I’ve never been hurt. I deserve better and I will grow to be a better person. You can go live and sort yourself out. Because this time, I choose to fight for my own happiness. The next man deserves the best of me, not what you put me through.

2025-08-14

What is wrong with me ?

It might sound stupid, but there is something i been dealing with for awhile now. Its been 2 years since i last in relationship with someone. As a man, of course i want to get into a new relationship. but, i find it hard for me to date another woman even after 2 years of my last relationship. It's not like i miss my ex but, i just don't know how to love anyone anymore. How do i descript this ? - felt like u run out of love to give to anyone and all i have left is "Sorry , I don't mind being a friend with you !" #🔥🐼
2025-08-14

No Reason to Hold

Let's me explain it into an easy example: How heavy a glass of water? 12oz? 15oz? 300g? The absolute weigh of the glass doesn't matter... it depend on how long you hold on to it. If you hold for a minute, nothing happens. If you hold for an hour, your arm will begin to ache. If you hold it ALL DAY LONG, your arm will feel NUMB and PARALYZED. Well, the weigh of the glass hasn't changed, but the longer you hold on to it, the HEAVIER it becomes. The STRESSES and the WORRIES of my life are like this glass of water... First, I thinking about them for a little while there's no problem. If I keep think about it for a little bit longer... it BEGINS to hurt! Then I think about them ALL DAY LONG and I've feel PARALYZED incapable of doing anything! It's because I believed in it, that why I came this far. I'm trying, I'm trying, until I have tried~ SO, I decided to PUT THE GLASS DOWN. \U0001F951
2025-08-14

U still here?

“Are u gonna miss me, when im gone?” YES, DEFINITELY. U tried to come back for many times, but I rejected u b’cuz of the all the guilt. I regret everything but I don’t want to go back. I really wish things to go back as before, but I don’t want u back. This may Sound like I’m complicating my feelings, but one thing I know for sure is I still love u, I can’t move on but I don’t want to go back. Sometimes when I miss u, I want to reach out to u so bad but I don’t want u to see how miserable I am atm. U also knew that and always trying to reach out to me ask me if u need any help when I’m on my own and I really appreciate that. One question I wanted to ask u rn, do u sympathize me or are u still here waiting for me as u promised me after we broke up?

2025-08-14

Attracted to Introvert is a karma

Fall in love with introverts is hard. Even you may know where they study or work, you probably can’t see them often. Even you may know their real name, they probably use fake name on social media. You can try stalking their friends or family members’ accounts but it doesn’t guarantee a success. They may not even have social media at all, or probably use a fake ones that not even their circle can know. They basically live in a cave and are probably carving art on the wall right now. Therefore, if you find any attractive introverts outside, don’t wait to get home and search for them on the internet. You may not see them touching grass for another months. So you should take a risk, approach them and don’t let the chance slips away (like me). If you’re lucky, they may let you hear their voices or more…adopt them. So, be brave guys, be brave but don’t be pushy (‘cause I’ve been there and it didn’t work). 🥴🥴🥴
2025-08-14

Our love was destined to be just a few pages story.

We were in love, but in the end, we were just a beautiful chapter in each other's lives. Have you ever felt like you could never truly let someone go? Because it was actually so special, you'll always have a piece of them with you. Every memory, every laugh, and even the terrible moments are preserved. It's now as much a part of you as your job. Letting go of them is more akin to realizing that the book series you've been reading won't have the happy finish you'd hoped for. How could they leave the series unfinished? What about all the anticipation? What are character arcs? What is the story's central theme? Well, the writers are no longer together, therefore that's the end of it. Then. The years pass, and before you know it, the writers are back to finish what they started. You love them, but you understand that they must do what their heart and mind desire. And who knows, maybe they'll find their way back home, and we'll be lucky enough to be considered home. You let them go, realizing that no matter how many times you reread the previous book the authors wrote, the next page is blank. Every now and then, there are whispers and small droplets of story and detail. A foreshadowing of a heartbreaking story. Only when everything comes together perfectly does that story get the happy ending it deserves. When two people are separated, anything can happen. Someone meets someone new, people make incompatible life decisions, or people simply grow apart. Accepting reality for what it is is what letting go entails. Two people who do not want to give up their entire outlook and foundations in life for the sake of the other, because doing so would mean a slow and painful death for them both in terms of mental capacity. One day, the time will be right. All the love, C
2025-08-14

Metaphysical idea of Freedom

I have been living on a fence between being normal, socially constructed, like most of everyone else, and being true to my cognitive self. To set up the premise, I am currently working as a software developer. I've been coding just so I know how to make games but that is still easier said than done. Being torn between work for my family and walking for my own can sometimes be discouraging. Is it lunacy to chase a near impossible spectrum of goals given where we are living? and leave behind our own flesh and blood even though just for a brief period of time compared to the whole life span in which we humans can live? The idea of knowing your own value is so vaguely destructive due to never being taught before how to measure that aspect of our own internal value, which spawn ignorance and esteem issues. "Pick the one you love", they said. The idealistic entity in which all of my hopes and expectations combined has nothing more but shattered due to the chaotic nature of nature itself. I fear the unknown, the dread of not knowing what to come next. The dread of nothing matters. I can only work towards it but how it ends will frighten me nonetheless.
2025-08-14

Lany - 13

29 Jan 2022, I saw her... It's been months since we last talked. A lot of things happened but memories of us still sculpted in my mind. I know that was solely my fault for pushing you so faraway that you and I have no idea how we could go back to the old us. It's ridiculous to say but despite my cold acts, I desperately want you to be mine although it's seemingly impossible. Being the third-wheel isn't my thing and me being a cheater would definitely out of the question. (Hey audiences, I know this sounds confusing. Lemme explain this, we both have our own partner) I don't know how to put this into word - the reasons why I chose to leave. However, I guess that was not a very bad decision I made, at least not to you. We both can focus on our own relationship. I'm so glad that you still can go on without my presence and be happy with your significant other and friends. You know what? I've been trying so hard to get you out of my mine. Countless attempts have passed, this time I admit that I failed... especially today. I was riding back home, listening to random songs on YouTube and thinking of you like I always do, and imagining how I would react and what I should say when we get to meet again... "the smell of you is way too much, not gonna put my heart through that... where did we go wrong? I know we started out alright" I was stunned. You were in front of me. Like 2m apart. You had your fav jacket on, the one that I tried to steal because you said your confidence dropped without this jacket. I saw some foods hanging on the hook which I thought that was for your mom because that's what you always did when we went back home after our unofficial date -- buying some foods home for your mama. I slowed down. My heart skipped a beat. That was unexpected, the person I'm thinking of and haven't talked to for months suddenly appeared in front of me, at the moment when our fav song played. I was stumbling, trying to figure out what I should do. Yet, nothing was done... Stupid, wasn't I? "Lately I've been someone and it ain't myself I'm spending all my time on somebody else I'm feeling all these feelings I don't understand You're the one good thing I ain't questioning Like ohh, if I knew that it would kill me I would still be there a thousand times over" This song came up next while I was secretly following her on her way back home. She rode too fast, without her helmet on (this girl is making me worried again). I really wanted to do something but I was not ready for this unexpected reunion. Finally, we seperated, not knowing when we'll officially meet again... même si je sais que je le regretterai plus tard. __________________ Hey, please take a good care of yourself. Untill we meet again. That time, I will be the one who comes to you first like when we first met :) though it might take some times, probably 2-3 years since I'll be going somewhere farway, but I promise I'll be back to pickup where we left off. Last but not least, be happy, even without me... and... I hope you think about me the way I think about you. And yes, it was enchanting to meet you :)