đŸ€đŸ–€ ur fav colors

Should have known u never loved me cus u never said “i love you” it’s always “love you”. U said I was controlling, stalking, when all I did was ask for your social acc to follow. U never go out with me until it’s our fifth months together and it was only that one time that u hang out with me. U don’t care when it’s my birthday, u don’t care when it’s our anniversary. U always ignored my chat for hours, days and when I asked abt it u always get offended saying ure busy and stuff. I stopped starting convo cus my texts were ignored anyways. And when I ignored u the same way or worse, u get mad? Did u consider my feeling when I sent 5hrs ago but last active 5mins ago, sent 6 hrs active 30mins..? It was always like that. I endured it all, all of ur bare minimum, breadcrumbing, cus I love you too much to let go. And in the end U decided to abandon me. What’s the point of a relationship when ur partner can’t even discuss anything with u and saying they don’t like conflict? And whats the point when ur partner trust others’ words instead of yours? I wanted to know whether U trust me and u chose to trust them. Did u think I don’t know what they were doing? I just wanted to find out whether u trust or love me at all. And I got what u’ve been thinking all along, u never wanted me. :) U just obeyed. :) Should have noticed when I said “I love you” and u replied “I like you”. And I should have trusted my guts and ended thing earlier when I had to spend Christmas and new year alone. Well guess that’s an experience I should have as I have never been in a relationship. Honestly, I really hope u get ur karma. I hope ur daughter meet s’o exactly just like u so u know my father’s feeling when he decided to let u have me but that’s how I got treated. Not sure if u know who I am but I really hope u do. :) From we’re soulmate to our personalities don’t match.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

December 2015

There was a guy that catch my eyes back then during my parent working trip at KPS since 2015. Our eyes catch while I was on my way down the stair and it keep bothering me for around one year and thanks god in 2017 I can forget it because I was busy studying for my BACII . I never thought that we could meet again but in 2018 I end up working in the same place with him until now. I use to be someone who good at controlling myself when it comes to feeling and always try to calm myself down for these few years but lately it seem to be out of control and I cannot stop thinking about him. He keep looking at me when we meet and when our eyes meet my heart keep racing. I always trying to avoid but the more I try the more we accidentally meet. I just don't know what to do now...it's so confusing.....
2025-08-14

Imagine how things between us would be if I met you first

Lately, I realize that we all have done ignoring the “bad stuff” in the person who shattered our hearts in pieces again and again because we loved them and at the same time, we all are ignoring the sweetest people in our life to keep that person. To that sweetest person, you know what I’m regretting doing? I regret that I ignored you. Yet deep inside, I wish that I met you first. Imagine how good it would be? I sound selfish, I know but it could have been You and I. Not everyone will have a happy ending, sometimes it ended just like those Hong Kong movies. WE ALL DIED IN THE END.

2025-08-14

I see forever in your eyes, I feel okay when I see you smile, smile

I know we both had a hard time. I am sorry for everything that I had done. Wish I could turn back time to the good old days. Wish everything could turn back to day we laugh together at stupid things. I know you might not be to move on now. It broke me into pieces knowing that you've been crying because of me. The more I think of how much you've been hurting, the more I hated myself. I will always love you. I hope one day, I'm not sure when but I hope it's soon, we will be back to where we were. Continue where we paused and start all over again with stronger deeper connection. And I see ....
2025-08-14

How to say ''no''?

Sometimes it becomes pressure for me that I always need to say ''Yes'' to everything that my friends ask for. It's doesn't mean that I don't want to help them or whatever, but I feel really bad about it. They keep wanting me do whatever they want, I mean if they want that I HAVE TO do that for them, they always want me to do like that all the time, even I say ''I can't''. On the other hand, I still cannot say ''NO'' to them as well, whenever I say ''NO'' to them I always feel wrong but at the same time I feel pressure as well. I feel like sometimes they don't respect my decision. I swear I want to be a selfish person sometimes, I don't want to be a tool for anyone that can be using all the time like that, but I don't know HOW TO SAY NO. Tell me if i'm wrong.
2025-08-14

Hey Mr. Panda! I feel so hard đŸ„ș

I've told myself to move on and give up on you. I've tried my best to forget you, to ignore you and to not talking to you. đŸ„șđŸ„șđŸ„ș BUT - Can you tell me why I can't take my eyes off from you? - Why I can't let you go? - Why my heart is hurting all the time that I miss you? - Why you don't care about me even a bit? - Why why and why? All the questions keep appearing in my mind every late night that I can't sleep. I am about to feel depressed with this stupid one-side lover. I am about to lose my happy signature because of you. I sometimes ask myself that why do you become this importance to me until I almost lose myself. The answer is loving someone without reasons called as real LOVE that's why I can't find any solution to solve this matter. Anyway, now I feel so hard, I wish you can comfort me and going on with me đŸ„ș
2025-08-14

:))

I confessed my feelings for you and now, we're treating each other as friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

2025-08-14

Am I that “not important”?

We’ve known each other for quite some times now. It’s no surprise to say we’re more than friends. We share secrets that we once promised ourselves to never disclose it ever, we rode to places together, we’ve gone to see the movies together, we hugged each other when we slept together (nothing sexual lmao just sleep), and there are tons of things that we have done together which to me are memorable. But I slowly came to realize that I am not that important to you as I thought I am. I’ve been striving for this alone while you were free riding this whole time. I tried to hold you tight while you didn’t even try. I shared my happiness/sadness with you while you laugh/cry alone. I’ve been fooled all these times. I was never an important person to you. I’m merely a friend. So why should I keep trying?

2025-08-14

Frozen Memories

I can’t believe we’ve come this far. We got to know each other; take care each other, share our things, favourite food/drink, favourite songs/movies, our gaols, what we love, what we want
. we also went on adventures together with happiness and love like people in relationship do. But
 We choose to be senior and junior. The distance between you and me it never seems to disappear, you and our memories are frozen in my heart. There are many things I don’t want to remember, always remember. If we confessed our feelings before this happened, it shouldn’t be this hard. If you just told me the things you’ve been through, we shouldn’t be strangers like we are right now. 😔 I miss you.