Always you!

To you my priority, since the day you left, I’m certain that I’m not the same person as I used to be. I’m sure that my feeling right now isn’t okay and it hurts me the most. I wanted to let you know that, you’re the only one who made me know what love is, you’re the only one who made me feel warm and secure while I was with you, you’re the only one that my love for you is still the same since our first day until now, you’re the only one whom I have any plans for the future. All of the sacrifices, efforts, and times that I put in, I didn’t expect anything in return, other than your love and dedication. I did everything just to make you feel that you’re the only one that got all of those things from me, not everyone else. I did everything just to make you feel happy, warm, and comfortable. I’ve never stopped daydreaming about how I’m going to build my life, buy my first house, first car with you, and marry you one day. You know what? I see you every two weeks, and when I return home I feel as if I've lost something that no one or nothing can replace. I had the feeling that I was leaving something behind that would never come back. I miss you, I'm upset, I didn’t want to return home, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re the only one, when I’m having fun and all I could think of is what if you were right here with me? I’d go on trips and while living in the moment, I allowed my imaginations to get ahead of me and I was able to picture you beside me and I got that feeling of “how nice would it be for you to be here with me”. To me, you’re perfect. To me, you’re beautiful as always in my eyes. I’m grateful you came into my life, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. My love for you hasn't changed, and no one can take your place in my heart, my mind, and my brain. And I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you. Sorry that I can’t keep you by my side. I’m still hoping everyday that you will come back to me again. You’re special to me. I’m so proud to have you in my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Your photo is still in my wallet, and your picture is still on my lock screen wallpaper. I wrote these letters with a song that I used to sing for you, When you’re home - Tyler Shaw. It’s 3AM now and I’m still thinking about you. I hope you will come back to me! #NL

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

Failed to delete you.exe 🥑

Do you know how I came here? I’m trying to forget you. It took me five hours to bike here, a coffee store in the middle of a mountain. I was running away from you for six months. I tried so hard to not thinking about you, avoiding your social media, ignoring your favorite meal, when it appears in front of me. Why do you not fade even a little? How could you show up here so easily? and You forgot me so easily. So~ Why can’t I... 😢 This is killing me. Answer me [Why is it so easy for you?]
2025-08-14

once a lover, now a stranger

i will always remember the day we started talking. i would never forget the man whom i used to cherish, and treasure. it's been 2 years already since we were officially broken apart, but still, i couldn't get over you. after all this time, i still think about you, and want you back. however, it seems like you are better off without me. i know you haven't found someone new yet, so has me. day by day, i keep waiting for you, hoping someday you're gonna come back and love me again eventhough i know it's impossible. i know i was the one who asked for the breakup because i was so stupid and immature, and reckless. we had been together for so long and i didn't trust you. i was too afraid that you would leave me someday, so i left you first. we're strangers now. i deserve it. p.s my heart will only be for you #chh
2025-08-14

In between

I could say I moved on, that’s why I’m here with my new relationship for 3 months. Last month was when my ex of 2 years has asked me if there’s a chance for us to be back tgt again. I told him and made things pretty clear with him that there’s no chance of us doing so, because I’m in a healthy relationship with my new bf. As I’m writing him to explain my feelings, I realized I’m not fully healed, it’s still hurting recalling the memory’s of us as I explaining, I still have a soft spot for him, he’s still a part of me. To ask whether I hate my ex after we broken up? I would say I don’t hate him not even one bit, I was just solely disappointed in him. Relationship with him was healthy, understanding, supportive, faithful and all, until earlier last year, when he made me thinks that the bare minimum was too much request in relationship. A part of the problem came from the environment that we’re surrounded with, everything’s started to change so did he, he became very arrogant, he used to be so supportive now every opinion of mine become invalid and he always listen to others before me. That’s when I feel miserable everyday being with him, things going on for months to the point I feel like I should leave and I did. He didn’t beg or anything he let me go and that’s when I also realized he may has lost his feeling for me and that I should work on myself. It’s been almost a year, I met someone new. To compare everything to him, my new bf is more like my dream ideal type, he asked to be his gf (possibly potential partner for the future, because we planned on our future and everything tgt, tho the duration seems pretty short) and I should say him and I get along just fine. It’s just this one thing, the amount of effort he put is way less than my ex when we’re in love. To put things in short, I don’t want to admit it but I must say that I’m almost like a chaser in this relationship even though he’s the one that asked me first. At some point, I also feel tired too, I wasn’t like this in my previous relationship, before everything changes, I was treated almost like a queen, never a day I ever feel like unwanted or lefted alone ever. That’s what I love the most out of previous relationships. As being with the new one, I feel like the Karmas do me good, now that everything my ex did for me, I’m doing it to my new bf without a return. I sometimes miss being treated by my ex, now that he came back and he changed a lot because of all the flaws that I explained to him before I ended the relationship making me miss him even more. Back to the question if I should go back to my previous relationship or should I moved on, I’m in a serious debate. My ex and I shared deeper connection than my new one, but I don’t want to give up on my new relationship just yet just because of my ex return, plus my new relationship is a long distance one, it’s unfair for him to compare things that my ex can possibly do just because he’s near me and was spending much longer time than my new one. I can’t just compare things. As for now I really don’t know what to do (I really need an anonymous consultation if anyone interested to help pls cmt, I’ll reach u out in anonymous acc)

2025-08-14

Temporary Unknown Status

Hey, you are the one who decided to break up and also you are the one who ignored and closed the communication even said we can’t continue anymore. As time goes by, I’m trying to heal myself and move on, you showed up acting like all the above things didn’t happen. When I ask why would you come back, you said there must be a reason but you don’t know it too. So I’m wondering what am I to you really? A toy?

2025-08-14

To the one I can’t have

Hey, it’s been many years since I’m trying to move on. I know my feeling isn’t mutual and that’s fine. But there’s always moment when I always picture us in my head. Loving you is a guilty feeling and yet I still want you to be mine. It’s hurt when I know you love someone else. It’s hurt when I’m trying to move on while at the same time I want to experience us together however I can’t have you because you are someone I would feel guilt to have….. but I love you , love you till the point where I don’t want anyone else but you , till the point where seeing you happy also make me happy. I love you na , and I don’t know when I could move one but I’m pretty much sure that it would take years but it’s okay loving you is beautiful even though it hurts me.

2025-08-14

Painful 😣

It’s painful. How people does not notice if I wasn’t alright. Does my existence ever matter in this family? Why do you have to make me question myself every time to see if I really belong in this home? Does the thought of me going crazy ever cross your mind? Why do I have to suffer alone like this? I never get the answer. And I kept sinking down the hole of darkness. I used to tell people I’m so scared of the dark but now it can almost take control of me. I see no light. How am I supposed to keep going? Will there be someone who shade the light to me? I’m tired of trying alone. Trying to please everyone, when my whole damn heart is breaking down. 💔😓

2025-08-14

A happy ending

Everywhere, everyone out there is busy finding their “the one”. It’s funny how instead of finding ‘’the one”, why don’t people actually try to find themselves instead? Well, what can I say cause love is blind right? and I once been blinded by it too. “Two teenagers meet, fell in love and they live happily ever after” is probably would be a tale that you would usually hear or see in movie but these kind of stuffs does not really exist in real life, in my opinion. Our story began when we both were in dark places. Starting off, to me, you were just nothing more than an acquaintance. After some time getting to know you, every time we talked, I started noticing that you were trying to keep the conversation going, that you were trying to get close to me and you would eager to know, to learn more about me and ask about the things I like. I, on the other hand, knew from the beginning and told myself that I wouldn’t let you get in my head because I get attached easily and it’s a way to protect myself. But instead of putting label between us, I keep opening up and letting you in even though I know I was gonna get hurt later on. We grew a lot closer over time and you would help me with literally anything I’ve asked you to, you would ask how my day was, whether I’ve eaten, you would cheer me up when I’m down, you would send me stuffs and said that it remind me of you, you would open up with me and rant to me about whatever things that are on your mind which you were too afraid to speak to the world about, you would told me about your goals and dreams. Not long after that, we were each other’s safe space and talking to you were my happy hours. Little did I knew, I started to like you and I would get this stupid butterflies every time you complimented me. But people change once they meet someone new or they just change as time passed by right? Yes, after some times, I started to get bored of you and I knew you kinda did too. We eventually stopped talking to one another and of course my pride is high and I wouldn’t text you first cause I don’t want to sound desperate. During the time we stopped talking, at first, I overthought everything, did I do sth wrong? did you not want to talk to me cause you need space or you get tired of me? Will we talk again soon? Am I that easy to replace? It drained my energy mentally and I was going insane but after giving it some thoughts, I stopped questioning the situation and just let it be. I later found out the “things” you did and realized that you were just taking me for granted just to pass your time. Naive of me to thought that you were not a red flag cause after all, you became all the things that you told me you wouldn’t be. So, of course, I decided to gave up cause if not, I’ll only end up destroying myself even more. Moving on is a really hard process for me but luckily, I have my amazing best friends by my side and they lift me up from my sorrow during this hard time.To sum up, I wouldn’t say meeting you is a nice accident or a bad one either but it’s more like an ending to a new beginning of finding and learning more about myself and giving the love that I need without having to depend it on anyone and a lesson to protect my heart better next time. I feel like writing this all down allows me to finally close the chapter and buried this petty love story here as I decided I don’t want to be stuck on the past anymore and to move on with my life so guess this is where our memories parted. It might be a long process to be better but im getting better bit by bit, day by day. Cheer to a happy ending of finally finding my own self<3
2025-08-14

Unpopular OPINIONS

Am I being third wheel again? I ask myself. I still can’t move on and you’ve been in a healthy relationship. Why did you ask me to be your best friend after all these times? Why did I even agree with this? You said you love me and I’m the best person, ur soulmate but why did you break up with me and ask me to be your best friend instead? I know it’s been along time and why did you text and call me when you feel so down ( u told me because I am the only person who u feel comfort to)?? While you were in a relationship with someone else? I won’t deny it, I always love you and I feel so wrong. All my friends said how stupid I am and one day I will meet someone else who will hold my hand till the end of my life , I try to move on and believe that. I wish you could feel open with ur current gf tell her everything you’ve been through I’m sure she would understand you way better then me. To myself also I wish I can leave you behind and I don’t think we can be friends because I still have some feelings for you, trust me I will try my best for letting you go. Wish you the best ✨ To : mysoulmatewhoicanbewith