In between

I could say I moved on, that’s why I’m here with my new relationship for 3 months. Last month was when my ex of 2 years has asked me if there’s a chance for us to be back tgt again. I told him and made things pretty clear with him that there’s no chance of us doing so, because I’m in a healthy relationship with my new bf. As I’m writing him to explain my feelings, I realized I’m not fully healed, it’s still hurting recalling the memory’s of us as I explaining, I still have a soft spot for him, he’s still a part of me. To ask whether I hate my ex after we broken up? I would say I don’t hate him not even one bit, I was just solely disappointed in him. Relationship with him was healthy, understanding, supportive, faithful and all, until earlier last year, when he made me thinks that the bare minimum was too much request in relationship. A part of the problem came from the environment that we’re surrounded with, everything’s started to change so did he, he became very arrogant, he used to be so supportive now every opinion of mine become invalid and he always listen to others before me. That’s when I feel miserable everyday being with him, things going on for months to the point I feel like I should leave and I did. He didn’t beg or anything he let me go and that’s when I also realized he may has lost his feeling for me and that I should work on myself. It’s been almost a year, I met someone new. To compare everything to him, my new bf is more like my dream ideal type, he asked to be his gf (possibly potential partner for the future, because we planned on our future and everything tgt, tho the duration seems pretty short) and I should say him and I get along just fine. It’s just this one thing, the amount of effort he put is way less than my ex when we’re in love. To put things in short, I don’t want to admit it but I must say that I’m almost like a chaser in this relationship even though he’s the one that asked me first. At some point, I also feel tired too, I wasn’t like this in my previous relationship, before everything changes, I was treated almost like a queen, never a day I ever feel like unwanted or lefted alone ever. That’s what I love the most out of previous relationships. As being with the new one, I feel like the Karmas do me good, now that everything my ex did for me, I’m doing it to my new bf without a return. I sometimes miss being treated by my ex, now that he came back and he changed a lot because of all the flaws that I explained to him before I ended the relationship making me miss him even more. Back to the question if I should go back to my previous relationship or should I moved on, I’m in a serious debate. My ex and I shared deeper connection than my new one, but I don’t want to give up on my new relationship just yet just because of my ex return, plus my new relationship is a long distance one, it’s unfair for him to compare things that my ex can possibly do just because he’s near me and was spending much longer time than my new one. I can’t just compare things. As for now I really don’t know what to do (I really need an anonymous consultation if anyone interested to help pls cmt, I’ll reach u out in anonymous acc)

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

Caption this..

Have you ever felt a wind of change? Have you ever noticed that one moment when you are all-in to do something for that someone? Have you ever thought of the one that changed you? I have been asking myself the same questions overtime. I always asked myself why; why did I have to change my own characteristics just to get along with someone else? And the only answer I could think of is “she is the one”. She is the one who taught me patience, the one whom I pledge my loyalty to, and the one whom I care for the most. I recalled that moment when one of my closest circle ask me: “… do you have someone in your eyes?”, and I responded “Oh yes! Her… the one from several years ago.” That response sent shockwave to the rest of my circle. They immediately questioned me of the progress I made. My answer disappointed them a lot. “It is a long story,” I said. Why haven’t I move on? The only reason I haven’t move on is that I could not find someone else who possess those traits of hers. It is true that I am a flirtatious young adult who fond of girls, especially those in my age or older, but when it comes to the real one — the first lady — I would stick to that girl. Stupid, right? I realise and admit that I usually fell in love at first sight. A lightning storm that usually ended up in a mess. And it has been years now, and we never talked, we never engaged in a long conversation, although time gave us many good opportunities to start things up. At some point, I even think that she hates me… like… she hates me so much that when we see each others, our eyes avoid one another, trying to avoid any contact. Things went back to the ICE AGE, when coldness and ego took over our respective selves. Even our zodiac signs are completely opposite from each other. Maybe I was right to avoid her? Or maybe it was just a new beginning? Or maybe it was a hint to something mysterious? Who knows! So what did she do? She dragged me out of my old self, my arrogant self. I left my assertive way of life, the aggressive behaviour behind, and embraced change. By looking back at my own past, I saw my old self fallen in an endless pit of darkness. Thanks to her presence, I walked on this path. Oh… and she was also the one who indirectly encouraged everyone else to discover beyond the boundary. But that does not mean every one of my activity is done on her behalf. It is a big NO. I could say that she is a guardian angel, who is loved by many of her inner circle, respected by many others, and adored by someone like me. My message would be: Let’s find a good time to talk this out. We have lots of things to catch up to. Shan’t we? And even though, we grow apart our inner little children call out for one another. You are not alone.

2025-08-14

I was chasing for someone love than I was lost in game.

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2025-08-14

Just a side person like a side dish

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2025-08-14

TO THAT MF WHO LIED TO MY FRI

I hope you mfs face crisis in life soon, after coming into my fri life and lied to her. I can’t wait to see ur miserable ass in the future cuz I believe karma does exist, honey. I hope u mf see this. Also, why u have the audacity to wear what my fri bought for u and join some sort of ceremony with ur new victim like how low can u be😗 U know who u are

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Maybe i'm happy, maybe not.

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2025-08-14

At least we look at the same moon 🌒

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The small details of you.

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2025-08-14

I am just a sore-loser

Disclaimer: If you're sensitive to any pessimistic contents, please skip this. You would not want anything to discourage you. I do not know where to start or what to write but here is my story. I'm born in good family, somehow i feel my life is not. I do not if i am overthinking or i am being too emotional. I am youngest child, my age is over 2 decades, my parents are over half of hundred. I am just still live by my parents, accomplish nothing but troubles. My parents spent nearly a million of dollars for my education somehow i feel to learn n.th useful to make them proud. My friends at this point, they made the name for themselves, they have a family. I feel like i am a lose. i fail as a child, as brother, and as a friend. I do a lot of things to disappoint my family. I know my family is well-known but this burden has pressure me more since i have a lot of expectation from people. In life, i want to have friends to hang out with but no one want to be near me, i had friends only in high-school that was because i see them everyday after that we cut off the contact. Even with my parents, i seem to grow distance, i could not do anything to help them. I want to be near them but i do not know how or where should i start. People might see me as out-going, friendly, extrovert but inside i am just a boring guy, emotional sh**, loner. I feel like darkness is my favourite place, like Batman but Batman is rich while i m poor. I just want to run off from home, and cut off the contacts just to free everyone's burden. I see myself with no real skill or ability even now i am just too afraid to be in love too, i know no one wants a useless guy. When people ask me, why do not i hang-out with my friends? I do not want to answer them, just because they do not like me, i do not blend in, or i have no friends. I know nothing beside being in the gym, fashion, and beauty. They are useless since I am not a model. It contributes nothing as incomes, only splurging. I need someone to understand me, lend me their shoulders, and telling me "Everything is alright", and somehow i just want to be alone. I sometime feel numb from sarcasm. I am also afraid to be in love since i got rejected on every of my confessions, i feel like i am not good enough for anyone, i just afraid to be in love, afraid to hurt someone too. I am just too insecure about everything. so far, i think i have reached my opinions. I do not know what to say anymore Thanks for reading