Painful 😣

It’s painful. How people does not notice if I wasn’t alright. Does my existence ever matter in this family? Why do you have to make me question myself every time to see if I really belong in this home? Does the thought of me going crazy ever cross your mind? Why do I have to suffer alone like this? I never get the answer. And I kept sinking down the hole of darkness. I used to tell people I’m so scared of the dark but now it can almost take control of me. I see no light. How am I supposed to keep going? Will there be someone who shade the light to me? I’m tired of trying alone. Trying to please everyone, when my whole damn heart is breaking down. 💔😓

Feeling bottled up?

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My Bullshit

I'm sorry that you have to deal with my bullshit. I didn't realize I have a lot of bullshit. I'm not that type of person, I swear. You raised your voice saying “ I'm dealing with your bullshit everyday, dealing with your bullshit is tiring. I thought you were not that type of person.”. I'm sorry, I was just telling you how my day was like how you always tell me about yours. I didn't mean to rant on you or maybe I sounded like one and if so, I thought you would listen to me and comfort me like other couples do but it's okay as long as you still love me, I don't mind. I was blinded by the illusion of you that I created in my mind.

Abc

Def

Just a stupid theory

Idk if I’m right about this but according to Newton’s Third Law : “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” So every time i think you , you must have think of me too

testfa

fafafa

The confession

I will wait for you until you’re finally ready for a relationship again, but don’t make me wait for too long.

365 days of your absence.

I’m the owner of #KJ0010 To my best friend who passed away way too young, I have a thing to tell you that I’ll finished my M.S next year, the dream we once had. I delicate all my achievements to you. Thank you for being in my life for the 6 years you were. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. For pushing me. It's true what they say… the good die young. For what? Nobody will ever know the answer to that. Your last text were “ I’ll be the the star, the ones that brighter than the rest”. That day forever changed my life. I did not know that was going to be the last time I would talk to you. I wish I could've stopped this from happening. I keep going through everything in my head trying to think of ways I could've prevented this from happening, but I know I couldn't have. I wish I had the superpower to turn back time. I may carry guilt for the reason you aren’t here. You were, and still are, so loved by many. Sethika, Even though you are not here anymore, you will always be in my heart. You were such a special person. I wish you could see all the things i saw in you. You’ll be forever young and beautiful; P.S I don’t end this story with a period, but a semicolon instead, in hopes that one day we may reunite and our adventures together can start again. In another life, I would be your sister and I’ll be the older ones;

I slept with my ex boss

On the bed, there were my friend, my ex boss and I. They were kinda drunk and I’m kinda tipsy. We sleep on one bed. He went to the toilet then I kinda wake up as I’m the light sleeper but I can’t wake up cuz the of many shots tequila. He came back to the bed hugging me and laying his hands on my body. Then he started to move his hand and slowly touch me (my hands and my shoulder only). His whole left arm was my boobs while holding my hands so I hold his arm and and place his hand on boobs (he got big hands and I’m fucking weak for that). Not long after that, we got into cuddling position. He put his chin on my shoulder and softly touch my other shoulder then move to my collar bone then my neck. I was uncomfortable as my friend is on right side and he’s on left side and I can’t move but I decided to move and turn my back to him but I still hold his hand and stick to my boobs (I swear I don’t love him, I just like it when something is on my boobs when I sleep). He moved his arm slowly while laying it on me (we still in the cuddling position but this time is spooning). His face behind my back, he keeps moving his face that has newly grow mustache on my flesh. It felt good, really. Then suddenly he let go of me and went back to normal sleeping position (I was like oh shit, why but I think nvm I’ll go back to sleep). A few minutes later he came back, his leg on my body, his arm on my boobs and went back to cuddling position again. He hugged me from behind, his face next to me. (There’s more but I can’t finish it cuz I’m sleepy asf now)

The saddest thing …

The saddest thing in the world is loving someone who used to love you :)))