I’m a 25yo guy, employed (stable and secured job), born in a not too poor or too rich family, currently pursuing a master’s degree and traumatized by my previous relationship(s) (got cheated on 3 times and got played/used for 2 times). It has really made me feel very very insecure. Lately I have been in and out of talking stages from one to another, either I bailed out because I felt insecure about my current state or they decided to ghost me. I’m really insecure about my appearance (I don’t know how girls sees me), and my job (I don’t know if she will love me for me or for the position). On the other hand, I’m not sure whether I’m good enough for anybody even If I have a stable job but I don’t have that much time free-time including strict family rules.. I wanna build up confidence and remove my insecurities but I don’t know how to… Someone please help…
Befor we us are best friends, but everything has changed. When I rejected your love.I want everything as before, why not? Why run away from me? Why not talk to me.Why pretend not to know me? Why change school? Why? Why can not we be as good friends as before? 4 years of friendship is not less, why did you choose this way? I want to say thanks very much for everything,I hope you know. I’m Sorry Boy👦
Incapable to keep you by my side but just to let you know that my heart was once yours . - To Sok Heang
Number 11 becomes my fav cos it’s the time I keep checking if you’re still awake like I am, if you are thinking of me like I am; it shows that I still care for you even before or after that 11 number, or maybe it’s just an excuse that I make to lie to myself that only when the short and long hand of the clock point to 11 is the time I think about you, when actually I’m thinking about you every hour which I can barely say the word hour cos every second seems so long let alone an hour, when actually I’m waiting for the time to arrive at 11 again so that I can lie to myself again that I only think of you at this 11:11. #lovefailed
Maybe I don’t love them, maybe the feeling of being in relationship is just something that I want to do to fill my void. I go for one after another and it seems like the cycle repeats. They love me, I love them back, I got cheated, I tried to find another one to move on, got heart broken, and move on to another. At this point, I don’t even know if I’m searching for love or just processing the trauma.
I have this friend and well, one day we're friend and another day he's being so sweet and all. He tells me about the other girls he met or girls that he's into. Being a good friend, I'm always there listening and giving him advices so that other girls will like him. When little did he knows that it hurts me like hell because I have feelings for him. We have almost nothing in common as far as I know but we are cool with each other. Or maybe we are only cool with being friends but why does he keeps taking care of me and making me flatter with butterflys in my stomach. I want to tell him how i feels but if things dont go well I also dont want to lose him as a friend. We chat abit before this and he's so supportive and nice and tell me to tell him if something is going on but I just cant bring myself to say anything. Staying up late and overthinking this things is killing me and I feel like I'm about to explode.
9:30pm, 11th April - The start of our Journey, it was our first date. He brought me to places I never been before, experience new things. It was like a dream if I could date him. Everything was perfect, I was happy than ever. But that happiness didn’t last forever…… To be continued.
You have no idea how much I miss you right now and how badly I wanna text to you. But don’t worry I won’t disturb you anymore. Thank for those moment you made me feel like im the one but you have somebody else.
It was not right how I thought I could control my feelings since I was traumatized by how I was treated... It was not right how I thought my emotions could be detached if I belived so... It was not right how you just became a part of me, my emotion, my life without me knowing... It was not right how it could affect me this much just by not getting your text... I mean since when have you become this important to me? For some reasons, I think we have the mutual feelings, but it is just not right for us to be together because we are traumatized by our experiences, is it? Or has it been one-sided? I just feel confused and I fear that it would take too much time to move on... becuase you are always on my mind now. Us being able to talk again or not, I am not sure. What I am sure is that talking to you was one best experience. I enjoy it and I hope you feel the same. :)