Anyone know how to get over it ? From a man who’s almost achieves his dream and now he’s nothing left to lose.
I asked you to move on and find someone who would give u the love that you deserve. U did. I promise that we still be friend afterwards. And I keep our promise. Lastly, you have found your happiness as my will for you has been fulfilled. Everything goes as planned, but why I’m still hurt?
Hi! Yeah it's weird when I have to express this feeling, but it's kinda worse if I don't speak it out and keep it in my head a little longer. I know it's only 3 or 4 months that we've known each other, and it even started from a complete stranger who have connection only on social media. However, the feeling I had for you were real. I really wish that it could work out for us, or maybe we could do better than this, or at least we have a better ending. I regret for the action I did without the consideration of your feeling, I really do. Until these day I still feel sorry for doing those dumb things. I chatted to you because I miss you, I care for you, I don't want bad stuff to happen to the person I care so much about; but it broke me to pieces when you told me that you're dating someone now. I'm happy to see you smile, really. I'm happy for you that you're with a better person who will provide what you want and what you need. But at the same time, I was sitting in the corner of room thinking about you all day. I couldn't focus on my working and studying. Everything were bad for me, it left the scar on my heart. Yet, I still have the urge to look at our old conversation. Just to find out and tell myself that I have lost the person I love the most to a stupid mistake, and there's no way I can reverse or go back in time to erase what I had done but to accept the truth that you're gone. One last thing, it's close to your birthday and I still have the gift that I bought for you months ago. I hope I can give it to you, but I don't wanna make you feel uncomfortable seeing me. On top of that, I don't wanna be a conflict between you and your partner. Goodluck with your new journey, and yeah last long.
I have crushed on him for months and one day I decided to confess. As a result, he didn't reject me and said "Let see how it's going on." It was the sentence that gave me hope to work harder to take his intention. But next next day, he told me that he didn't want to think about something yet and I said okay even my inside hurt me a lot. I cried for whole night and felt like the whole world was collapsing. After this hard situation has gone, I kept talking to him as normal and acted like nothing happen. After then, I have invited him for a gathering but he rejected since he had his personal matter. I also understood about that situation. However, since that day, I didn't text him anymore plus he also didn't text me so I decided badly to MOVE ON. It is so hard for me to suddenly give up on him but I know clearly that no matter how hard I try, I still can't be good enough for him because I am not his type and his intention is not for me. Anyway, sorry for not saying Goodbye and telling you that I have give up on you because I afraid that when I text you, I will fall for u again. I hope you meet someone who you love and she will love you the way you love her. Time will cure everything. 🥺🥺🥺
I think the dep hits me again. I noticed by when my heartbeat started to go fast, sometimes I feel suffocated, I couldn’t catch my breath, I couldn’t concentrate, my hands get shaky, my body feel weak, I got lost of interest in making any decisions, my weight started to lost again. I hate to fall into the conditions but I couldn’t help. I tried asking for help but it doesn’t work, it only makes me feel like I’m different, especially when they try to be too careful with me (it looks to fake, I could see it) It is amazing how my mood changes too quickly, I was just laughing and talking a lot yesterday, but today everything become a sorrow story again. I used to think of getting a therapist, asking an expert on my conditions, but the fact that I was under control by my family and that I couldn’t ride or drive any transportation method at all, make me feel even more bad and useless. I also used to think about reaching them via email or phone calls, but I was too scared, it was too hard for me to make myself do it, so I decided I gave up seeking for mental specialist. I chose to be healed by my own. (I really did heal myself but there was a lot of time the demon hits me back and forth, sometimes I feel really happy and the next minutes I feel like k*lling myself) I don’t know what else should I do. Are there anyone who will be the light for me?
Generally, I’m a happy person. I laugh a lot, I smile a lot. My friends called me “យាយប្រិមប្រិយ”. It's hard to see me without a smile on my face. Everyone thinks that I don't have any problems in my life, since I always laugh and smiling in every pictures that we captured. Deep down I’m slowly dying day by day. I literally cannot find any form of joy in my life. I feel like I can't show my real feelings; I feel like I have to keep smiling and i feels really guilty if I tell them about that because it’ll ruin their day. I’m jealous to those who brave enough to talk about it especially admit that they’ve suicidal thoughts. Smiling and laughing has become a reflex for me and it’s easier for me rather than tell them what’s going on. I no longer “ME” for a long time ago but nobody noticed it. I feel like someone is clawing away at me on the inside. I feel so empty. I don't know what to do.
I believe the first love is always the best feeling you have ever felt in your youth memories either it ends well or bad. Believe it or not, my first love experience has still hunted me until today. As of today, I still stuck seeing his rounded face facing with sunlight in my eyes and his soft voice in my both ears. Ever since I met him in high school, my life has changed completely. People said love is blind and I absolutely agree with that. Everyone was invisible to me whenever he showed up. I would lose my word whenever we started the conversation. My heart beated crazily when he came close to my body. My face would turn red in seconds when he called me by my name or oun eng. However, I was not the only one who wanted this man to be in my life, he was an apple in every girls’ eyes back to that year. His friendliness, caring, kindness, helpfulness, and bright smile make him had everyone attention. Thankfully, due to the class arrangement I got a chance to share a table with him for two wonderful years. Within that years, I witnessed the girls who tried to win his heart yet, he turned them all down. I had no answer to why he turned everyone down but I was so happy that I still have chance. Ever since we started studying together, I push myself to study harder and harder because he was one of an outstanding student and I was hoping that if I did well in my academic I would be noticed by him someday (the stupid me😂). I would never talk to him first until he started the conversation (I was shy 🙈) and our topic would be only about the academic. Thank to him even he noticed I felt uncomfortable with him around, he still tried his very best to make me felt better and help me out with our team work. He would tag me along to the part-time school and even brought me snack. There was a time that it was raining like dog and cat and he decided to owed me his jacket so I would still felt warm on my way back home. Yet, he was this good to everyone not only me that time and the only reason I was able to be treated spacial because I was his deskmate. Everything went too well that make me hopelessly falling deeper and deeper day to day. But because it went to well, I did not dare to confess because if I was turning down that time I would completely lose him and would have no another chance share some priceless like that moment. So I did my best in my study to be bold to him and would try to hide my feelings from him and even avoided seeing him sometimes. This was killing me yet also saving me from losing this man as well. Months went by and here come bacll time ( it was tough in 2017), we both were trying so hard and promise to do our best. With my effort, school and family support, also his mentally and academically support, I did it. I at least got a B while he had himself an A. I was so happy for him and it was the first time we share a hug and he put his hand on my head and should said ‘You ឯង ពូកែណាស់‘. That was a moment that I am proud of myself the most. Even I couldn’t accompany him to the award ceremony but I felt enough. I was now told by my 4years crush that I did great and even shared a happy moment with him. After bacll, we still chatted and discussed what should we do next and it was when I realized I cannot just run after him all the time I should also find my own goal and purpose. So he went for a university abroad and I registered for a local university and it’s also when we started fading away. As of today, we are now graduated and doing our dream job. We met serveral times this recent years. I am so happy to share my high memories with him and to have him as my first love even it was only me who in love. Thank to him and his support for me to become who I am today. As of today I am still regretting not able to confess my love to him back then and if I could turn back time I hope I least heard a bold yes or no from him, honestly. Even if this love was silly but I did feel love and it all ends well, thank 🤍. And of course I hope you would come across this message someday. Thank you for your memories. And guess what I already found my Mr. Right and even if he was not my first he will be the only one who going to walk me on the aisle after my father. I am now getting married to someone I love and I am sure he love me harder. Thank you my first love and you will be one of my best memories even after my wedding day. Thank for everything 🤍
"Have you ever love someone and want the best for them? But you realized you aren't the best for them." This is what i can recall from your story quote. I don't have courage to tell you directly but i do know that you like to read here. If that post refer to me, i just want you to be who you are because that's the best of you to me.
Sometimes it becomes pressure for me that I always need to say ''Yes'' to everything that my friends ask for. It's doesn't mean that I don't want to help them or whatever, but I feel really bad about it. They keep wanting me do whatever they want, I mean if they want that I HAVE TO do that for them, they always want me to do like that all the time, even I say ''I can't''. On the other hand, I still cannot say ''NO'' to them as well, whenever I say ''NO'' to them I always feel wrong but at the same time I feel pressure as well. I feel like sometimes they don't respect my decision. I swear I want to be a selfish person sometimes, I don't want to be a tool for anyone that can be using all the time like that, but I don't know HOW TO SAY NO. Tell me if i'm wrong.