Suicidal thought
It comes again...that thought and why its keep whisper in my ear and keeping running in my brain telling me i should die so everything will be fine? Why is it me? Why am i being like this?
Do you think, being with someone who is depressed, will turn you into someone like them too? You’re being tortured emotionally by them to the point you just want to suicide with them, but still, you have to be that someone comforting them and tolerating with everything. You changed from someone who is so optimistic to pessimistic, and damn the world is never pink again.
It comes again...that thought and why its keep whisper in my ear and keeping running in my brain telling me i should die so everything will be fine? Why is it me? Why am i being like this?
I fucked up again. Choosing the same old path and now suffering same old mistake. Risking myself to accept that love again. Open myself to trust again but now all I got is this god damn pain. And now I think I am the REAL problem :)
I’m just wondering that most of the confessors who confess about love really know about love. Because I don’t. I really am. And maybe I’m confused. I don’t know if it because I’ve been single for too long or what (bachelor degree of single). I care I worry I talk all the time about the person that I close with but when others ask am I in love with that person? I would say I don’t and I don’t know what love is like. Also, they said the way and the action that I did toward that person it is love. And I don’t know at all.
Dear crush, ik ure in love with somebody who ain’t me, yet I hope u’ll never be lonely like u always told me n realize this world as a beautiful place. I hope she’ll take good care of u n I wish u live in this love life ever after. My happiness is seeing u happy. Love u my dearest crush:) #m
U know what? I've just cried silently without a specific reason, sounds redicilous, right? Yeah! But it's too painful. I dunno why I usually cry like that, wanna sit alone in a dark place, can't control own self. I feel I'm so useless, I feel empty, feel so complicated!!! What do I want? who am I? Why am I here?
#firstandlastpt1 Everything start from me, it was my fault that fall in love with him. It was me who start to message him first everytime and he really friendly that make me feel he has feeling for me too. I spent 3 year to know his information and start to message him in 2019.I don't except he really talkative in message and I have good memories with each other since 2019-2020. As a girl who never had experience in love, I was so brave to proposal to him first and he reject me and said sorry. It's hurt me alot but I pretend to be okay and text him we still can be cousin like before. After that moment, I only text him whenever it's related to family issues. Someday I really miss how funny conversation I had with him even I start it first. 2021 I start to move on because I learn some advice through the book , listen to music and start to working outside cause I was a junior now. It's really work for me, I'm happy with book and my friend, we go out and had fun time and I thought I'm not into him fr. But in 2022 March, He start to message me first and I start to ignore but after 2 day ago, he talk about his family issues related to me. I decided to reply short message and he ask me to join his sister's wedding. I said yes cause we're cousin and live next to each other now. But....he make me disappointed in him again. I'll update next part 🔜
Hey, it’s been many years since I’m trying to move on. I know my feeling isn’t mutual and that’s fine. But there’s always moment when I always picture us in my head. Loving you is a guilty feeling and yet I still want you to be mine. It’s hurt when I know you love someone else. It’s hurt when I’m trying to move on while at the same time I want to experience us together however I can’t have you because you are someone I would feel guilt to have….. but I love you , love you till the point where I don’t want anyone else but you , till the point where seeing you happy also make me happy. I love you na , and I don’t know when I could move one but I’m pretty much sure that it would take years but it’s okay loving you is beautiful even though it hurts me.
...when it comes to a long distance relationship, communication is the key, they said. as students, we both have a lot of works need to be completed, but at the first few months it kinda work well, we both put efforts, make time for each other, and share almost everything. Times passed, people changed, they start to take things private, talk less or not even talk to each other for weeks,sometimes :), hmmm from every late night call to a good night message, no time for the one that is waiting for their messages and their presence, the one who wants to know whether it was their good or bad day, the one who wish to listen to everything and cheer them up with the sense of humorous>.<. The feeling of one-sided love comes, yet one still trying their best to keep the relationship even they've been through many sleepless nights. People changed with time, but the way you have changed is really far far away from my expectations. Goodnightmymoon❤️