First and last

#firstandlastpt1 Everything start from me, it was my fault that fall in love with him. It was me who start to message him first everytime and he really friendly that make me feel he has feeling for me too. I spent 3 year to know his information and start to message him in 2019.I don't except he really talkative in message and I have good memories with each other since 2019-2020. As a girl who never had experience in love, I was so brave to proposal to him first and he reject me and said sorry. It's hurt me alot but I pretend to be okay and text him we still can be cousin like before. After that moment, I only text him whenever it's related to family issues. Someday I really miss how funny conversation I had with him even I start it first. 2021 I start to move on because I learn some advice through the book , listen to music and start to working outside cause I was a junior now. It's really work for me, I'm happy with book and my friend, we go out and had fun time and I thought I'm not into him fr. But in 2022 March, He start to message me first and I start to ignore but after 2 day ago, he talk about his family issues related to me. I decided to reply short message and he ask me to join his sister's wedding. I said yes cause we're cousin and live next to each other now. But....he make me disappointed in him again. I'll update next part 🔜

Feeling bottled up?

Recommended Posts

2025-08-14

To the ex i love the most,seng.

I realized that i loved u too much and forgot to kove myself. And now i love myself more than before. Im trying to hard to change myself to be better so I won’t get hurt in the future like u did to me. Anyway i never hate u. Im still loving u. It’s to be honest. I can’t unlove u. And I appreciated everything that u done for me before. U as the second man after my dad to take care me everything abt food, drink, sleep and protect my everytime. Im so thankful cuz i never got a man like u before.

2025-08-14

In between

I could say I moved on, that’s why I’m here with my new relationship for 3 months. Last month was when my ex of 2 years has asked me if there’s a chance for us to be back tgt again. I told him and made things pretty clear with him that there’s no chance of us doing so, because I’m in a healthy relationship with my new bf. As I’m writing him to explain my feelings, I realized I’m not fully healed, it’s still hurting recalling the memory’s of us as I explaining, I still have a soft spot for him, he’s still a part of me. To ask whether I hate my ex after we broken up? I would say I don’t hate him not even one bit, I was just solely disappointed in him. Relationship with him was healthy, understanding, supportive, faithful and all, until earlier last year, when he made me thinks that the bare minimum was too much request in relationship. A part of the problem came from the environment that we’re surrounded with, everything’s started to change so did he, he became very arrogant, he used to be so supportive now every opinion of mine become invalid and he always listen to others before me. That’s when I feel miserable everyday being with him, things going on for months to the point I feel like I should leave and I did. He didn’t beg or anything he let me go and that’s when I also realized he may has lost his feeling for me and that I should work on myself. It’s been almost a year, I met someone new. To compare everything to him, my new bf is more like my dream ideal type, he asked to be his gf (possibly potential partner for the future, because we planned on our future and everything tgt, tho the duration seems pretty short) and I should say him and I get along just fine. It’s just this one thing, the amount of effort he put is way less than my ex when we’re in love. To put things in short, I don’t want to admit it but I must say that I’m almost like a chaser in this relationship even though he’s the one that asked me first. At some point, I also feel tired too, I wasn’t like this in my previous relationship, before everything changes, I was treated almost like a queen, never a day I ever feel like unwanted or lefted alone ever. That’s what I love the most out of previous relationships. As being with the new one, I feel like the Karmas do me good, now that everything my ex did for me, I’m doing it to my new bf without a return. I sometimes miss being treated by my ex, now that he came back and he changed a lot because of all the flaws that I explained to him before I ended the relationship making me miss him even more. Back to the question if I should go back to my previous relationship or should I moved on, I’m in a serious debate. My ex and I shared deeper connection than my new one, but I don’t want to give up on my new relationship just yet just because of my ex return, plus my new relationship is a long distance one, it’s unfair for him to compare things that my ex can possibly do just because he’s near me and was spending much longer time than my new one. I can’t just compare things. As for now I really don’t know what to do (I really need an anonymous consultation if anyone interested to help pls cmt, I’ll reach u out in anonymous acc)

2025-08-14

How u call it mature love?

Admin please comfirm this. Idk if this is so call mature love or love with a business man. My bf is a business man and also hard working man. I don't know if y'all believe in zodiac sign but he is gemini. 1st, let talk about chat, as i count the time we had a chat we only spend 40mn about personal stuff, if we had a long convo it about our work or bs. 2nd, the time we spend with each other outside most of the time also relate to work, we sit far from each other like a stranger or normal worker, but some told me he shown me respect to not touch me outside cause elder will look at me in discuss way if he does that. 3rd, he offen go to province or he so focus on his work he will ignore me for a day or more, like these days he called me he went to kpc 2 days ago then we didn't talk till now. Is this what u call mature? Is this love? I'm so confuse, cause i used to asked him for break up n he ignore me like nth had happened.

2025-08-14

Ignore green flag but get lost with red flag

I hate myself that I still see red flag whom I put everything into it but it doesn’t seem any development. But I do ignore green flag whom always ask me about my 3 meals per days, the first one that come to his mind after he woke up and sent me good morning every morning and good night text before he go to sleep, to ask how my day was, how tiring am I after work, did I get home safe, can he have this or this, replies to my every freaking stories…..etc. But I actually ignored him just for the red flag whom I only get his texts when he’s drunk or h-rny because we both do! Also I’m always waiting his text, his replies, and sometime I heard the things that I shouldn’t have to hear it. But I do. Is there anyone who relate to this? And did u overcome it? If yes, how? And if not, hope we’d overcome it sooner.

2025-08-14

Regret

I lost my virgin at the age 21 years old. Do u think it is so fast? And How do all of u guys think of me? ភ្លើតភ្លើន? សប្បាយភ្លេចខ្លួន? ខុសប្រពៃណី?I lost it to my bf and he never think about future with me. Emmmm! Now I feel like I dont want anyone anymore beside building myself to be strong and I am sorry for my family that I am not a good daughter! Really sorry.
2025-08-14

What happened between us?

Have you ever waited for days just to tell your favorite person about your major life decisions or even some updates that you thought would excite either of you? But every time you tries to have that conversation, they just killed the vibes by acting like you’re annoying and instantly ignored you for hours. I was wrong that I thought we were close, so close that we can share everything. I don’t know what went wrong between us but I hope you’re happy, doing fine. I realized soulmates couldn't just be lovers but actually someone you called best friend. From someone who used to tell you everything because I trust you.
2025-08-14

He’s the one that keeps me wishing on a wishing star.

I fell in love with him three years ago and until now. I secretly admire him from afar, i love him since he had no girlfriend until he had a girlfriend and broke up again. I ignored so many people for him but look at me, i’m single:) i really wanna confess my feelings but what if he rejects me? Cus i swear i always put my pride first, plus i’m so picky and i’ve always rejected people who have a crush on me, Call me stupid but I reject 5 guy becus of him, yet he knows nth. I just found out recently that he has a girlfriend for almost a month, but that’s ok. i’m willing to wait again, i won’t mess with their relationship.. i’ll love him in silence. Whatever, seeing him everyday at school is enough, even if we don’t talk with each other, sharing a small daily life with him is my greatest joy. My question is, should i confess to him at the end of the year? Cus, this is our last year as a high school student, it wouldn’t hurt if he rejected me cus we probably never met again. *i’m crying

2025-08-14

What do you mean bruh?

You already had a girlfriend, why would the h*ll are you giving me the mixed signals dude ?