Suicide!

This isn't really a confession about anything, but more like an announcement. I don't know if I will be able to continue this thing we called living any longer. I guess it like I'm running away but I don't think I can keep doing this so when I hit my 20th birthday, I think I'm going to kill myself. I think it gonna be the right thing to do because I'm pretty worthless and my life meant nothing so yea. Cheer to the next 2 months of my life.

Feeling bottled up?

Recommended Posts

2025-08-14

My aftermath

It’s been 4 months now. I had bread with condensed milk today and my tears drop at the last bite when I saw us. I saw the time you eat muffin in Uni every morning and think to myself I would never date the guy but then you appeared in class. I saw the time when you were mean to me just so we can get closer. I saw countless topics you would pick on me and we would fight on purpose. I saw the time when we went on the first trip, I would never get why anything you tried to relay, so that night with sounds of the sea under the stars I asked and there I got myself a confession that I never expect. I saw you driving me home in others car or would took trains with me so I can go home safe and we can see each other a little more. I saw us going to the beach at 2am. I saw the time we got frustrated just cuz we really want the “best” best for each other when we were stubborn at times. I saw the time when you only show the silliest side to me and not others. I saw the time when I was being dramatic on purpose so i can see you fight for me more cuz that’s lovely. I saw the time when I said harsh things just to see how much you can take. I saw the time when we went back to visit Bodia together for the first time and you would have a hard time being with my friends and how uncomfortable you look becuz you were guilty of hanging out everyday being with a girlfriend rather your family while you visits and you don’t even enjoy it. I saw the time when I stood you up outside my friends house becuz we fought and I was crying in the room endlessly just to hear my friend telling me you are outside waiting for me, of course I regret it days after. I saw the time when you danced off to rewards from your efforts. I saw the time when stayed together 24/7 which I loved and hated, more like love. I saw the time when touching your cheeks, your hair, annoying you is my favorite things in a day when the city is locked down. I saw the time when we had our last hug at the airport during Covid which I never thought would be the last. I saw the time you had your first job and i would bombarded you with questions every day about it. I saw myself crying over the fact that you tried so hard to not burden your family and actually be that “son”. I saw the time you tell me your weird dreams, the one straight outa movie and shockingly the one we shared on the same night. I saw the time you would get emotional when talking to your family which I always feel guilty for hurting you in a way after. I saw myself becoming distant gradually becuz of the distance after you started it. I saw myself adoring you in secret and act the other way round everyday. I saw myself bragging about you to my mom just so she can prepare for the man her daughter choose. I saw you stopped liking me but the love stays, you couldn’t get out of the relationship that suffocates you at all. I saw myself realizing how much you meant to me, and I realized it even more when we called it quit. Just how much I actaully love you. I never regret every seconds in the relationship we built. You will always be part of who me. Without you I would never know what true love is. I would never get to love someone as much as my life. I would never know what sacrifice feels like. I would never get to experience so much life. I would never be an adult I am today. I would still choose to fall for you all over and over again if we can go back in time. Thank you for the growth, the honesty, the man that you are and what we had. Its a real farewell yeah? Goodbye, tvt

2025-08-14

What is wrong with me ?

It might sound stupid, but there is something i been dealing with for awhile now. Its been 2 years since i last in relationship with someone. As a man, of course i want to get into a new relationship. but, i find it hard for me to date another woman even after 2 years of my last relationship. It's not like i miss my ex but, i just don't know how to love anyone anymore. How do i descript this ? - felt like u run out of love to give to anyone and all i have left is "Sorry , I don't mind being a friend with you !" #🔥🐼

2025-08-14

You

''I got my hopes up.'' He whispered. ''About what?'' She asked. ''About you actually loving me back." ''I tried to show you I loved you and you wouldn’t let me which is fine.'' ''But you know the worst feeling is when you find out you didn't mean as much to someone as you thought you did and you look so stupid for caring too much." "I'm sorry.'' She said.

2025-08-14

បងល្ងង់ ឬអូនមានចិត្តក្បត់ ឬក្បត់ដោយប្រយោលទាំងមិនដឹងខ្លួន ?

៤-៥ឆ្នាំដែលយើងទាក់ទងគ្នាយ៉ាងល្អ និងឈានទៅរកថ្ងៃពិសេសទៅហើយ! .....អូនចាប់ផ្តើមសុំបងបែកមួយរយះ ក្រោយមានវត្តមានគេ! គេចូលមកជិតអូនត្រឹមមិនដល់៣ថ្ងៃផង គេហ៊ានប្រាប់ឲ្យអូនបែកបង(ក្នុងក្លឹប) អូនដឹងគោលបំណងគេទៅហើយ ម្តេចអូនបើកដៃឲ្យគេ ហើយអ្នកដែលឆាតទៅគេមុនក៏ជារូបអូន អូនបើកដៃឲ្យគេមកក្បែរខ្លួនអូន ទាំងអង្គុយជិត និងគ្រប់រូបភាព (សួរថាបងឈឺប៉ុណ្ណាមនុស្សដែលយើងស្រលាញ់បំផុត និងឲ្យតម្លៃបំផុតបែរជាធ្វើបែបនេះ) រួចហើយអូនឆាតប្រាប់BFFអូនថាគេ treatអូនបានល្អជាងបង...etc! ចុម🤷🏻 គេចូលមកគៀកអូនស្នឹទ្ធដាក់អូនដល់ថ្នាក់បងប្រច័ណ្ឌ ក៏ចាត់ទុកថាបងចិត្តមិនទូលាយកើតជារឿងទៅវិញ ក្រោយមកក៏ប្រាប់ថាបែកគ្នា១រយះ នឹងមិនមានទាក់ទងជាមួយអ្នកណាក្នុងអំលុងពេលនឹង ទាំងដែលអូនឆាតជាមួយគេព្រឹកទល់យប់ចូលគេងទៅទៀត (ទុកបងចោលក្រោមមូលហេតុក្នុងពេលសិក្សា ទាំងដែលអូនដើរដាច់យប់ញាំស្រាសប្បាយសឹងរៀងរាល់រាត្រី 🙂) បងមិនដែលនឹងធ្វើបែបនឹងដាក់អូនម្តងណាឡើយ. (រឿងខ្លះមិនមែនបងមិនដឹង តែបងធ្វើភ្លឺចាំមើលគម្រោងអូន) ម្លោះទៀតសោធ ថ្ងៃចុងក្រោយបំផុត ដែលអូនអនុញាត្តិឲ្យអ្នកដ៏ទៃមកដៀលបងកប់ៗមាត់ទៅវិញថាបងមនុស្សមិន...@#£€ etc ទៅវិញ (ចំនុចរសើបនេះបងលាក់ទុករហូតមិនប្រាប់នរណាសូម្បីក្រុមគ្រួសារបង ព្រោះបងខ្លាចពួកគាត់ស្អប់រូបអូន ទាំងដែលពួកគាត់ស្គាល់អូនជាក្មេងស្រីល្អម្នាក់) បងសែនសោកស្តាយដែលអូនបណ្តោយឲ្យគេប្រមាថបង ដែលបងតែងតែផ្តល់តម្លៃ កត្តិយសដល់អូន និងក្រុមគ្រួសារអូន. ពេលនោះអូនខល់បងទាំងស្រវឹងនិយាយលែងដឹងអីទៅហើយ អូនមិនមែនមនុស្សស្រីទន់ភ្លន់ដែលបងធ្លាប់ស្គាល់នោះទេ... បងស្រឡាំងកាំងពេលនឹកឃើញដល់ទង្វើទាំងឡាយដែលអូនបានធ្វើមកលើបង....... បងអង្វរអូនគ្រប់បែបយ៉ាងព្រោះបងនៅស្រលាញ់ ថ្ងៃចុងក្រោយបងក៏គោរពតាមការសម្រេចចិត្តរបស់អូនដែលអូនចង់បែក (បេះដូងបងស្ទើអស់ឈាមរត់ទៅហើយនាថ្ងៃនុង) ហាហាហ បងខ្សោយណាស់មែនទេដែលអន់ចំពោះមនុស្សស្រីដែលបងស្រលាញ់ 😅😂 បងល្អឬមិនល្អចំពោះអូន ទុកឲ្យពេលវេលាជាអ្នកចាត់ចែងទៅចុះ 🤍 ជូនពរអូនសំណាងល្អ នឹងជាមួយអ្នកថ្មី ឬដៃគូណាថ្មីឲ្យមានសុភមង្គល. នឹកគិតសព្វៗទៅ ខ្ញុំល្ងង់ណាស់មែនទេដែលដឹងរឿងគ្រប់យ៉ាងហើយ ក៏ចាំមើលគេធ្វើយ៉ាងរំភើយ😂😂😂 របៀបថាក្បត់ដោយប្រយោល រួចក៏ប្រាប់បងថាមិនក្បត់អ្វីនោះទេ 😂 វាជាមេរៀនដ៏ល្អសម្រាប់បងដែលស្គាល់អូនកន្លងមក ថាមនុស្សចេះប្រែប្រួលស្ទើរមិនជឿរដោយបរិស្ថានរាប់អានជុំវិញខ្លួន. 🤌🏼💁🏻

2025-08-14

Just feel sad

I'm not sure u'll see this post or not but it always simple like the way u never see me too ;( I know that was along journey between us, being with you as I always wish but I know I went too far from what u never want to, feel like I'm the only once, It a bit hurt but I could understand we can't push someone to love us back it because u also have someone special in your heart someone that u feel different way from me, still I'm asking myself why I'm jealous since I'm not him. It okay to be hurt like this because I can feel your feeling too to be with person we don't want to, I always want to be just like him the once that u always take care of, the once that u never ignored ... look how stupid I think this never gonna happen stupid me. Ur happiness was always my happiness even with or without me :))

2025-08-14

🙂

If I’m too much for you, go find less.

2025-08-14

The friendship I valued the most..

To the friend I used to valued... Months ago, I had a female fiend who I talked to daily, I kept listen to her rant day to day, support her during her bad time. It is not that I had feeling for her or something. I just valued our friendship. Being friend is meant to valued each other, aint it? Then one day, she told me that she got into a relationship. I congratulated her and keep texting her as we used to. Then she barely reply to my text. It is not that I got jealous or something. But the friend who you trusted, you supported most, valued the most, turned their back after got into relationship as if you meant nothing to them. Was I been used? Was I have done something wrong? Is it mean they don't want you anymore? Or is it mean you are out of their used? I don't know. After that, I decided to silently walk out of her life. Knowing that my effort has no meaning to them.(what's suck most, is she never asked or notice my absence) I still hope you have a great life, live happily. From the person who out of your used.

2025-08-14

My precious Doggos

When I was younger, I had three dogs: two males: Jia and Zong and one female: Lin. Anyways, Jia always acted dominantly, and for years he would regularly beat up Zong to prove his dominance and superiority. Zong finally attacked Jia one day. His entire chest was torn up he barely survived surgery. A week later, his kidneys failed and he died. My dad was going to put him down, but he ended up giving him away instead. I never saw him again. I helped bury Jia, and while he was laying in a blanket as we dug Lin came and sat by his body. Two weeks later I woke to find her dead in her dog house, she had no visible signs of injury and had been healthy. She was buried by morning. It might not compare to other people's stories, "they're only dogs anyways", but it was really hard losing all three of my childhood dogs, friends I'd known my entire life, within a few weeks. I haven't cried ever since I buried Lin.