πŸ™‚

If I’m too much for you, go find less.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

Request for DIS

I’m not sure if I can request this here but can DIS provide wifi for students too? PleaseeeeπŸ™„ (Not sure whether they already provide or not)

2025-08-14

now or never

I'd say that I've been in this relationship for almost two years now. Everything started great; it is something that I've always wanted. I was really happy back then with the occasional phone calls, going on dates, and those fun things we did together. But things took a turn after we graduated from high school and covid hit. We didn't do those things anymore. I started pointing out the issues and asked him to put more effort into our relationship. He never bothers to change and always has excuses to the point that I no longer nag him about it. This went on for a year until today, and although I wanted to end things a couple of times, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I am unhappy, yet I am too afraid to break up with him. Recently, I discovered that I like someone. I haven't felt this I-got-a-crush-on-someone kind of feeling for so long, and to be honest, I feel so alive. My gut feeling told me he might like me as well, and I kind of feel guilty about this. I don't want to hurt anybody, but I also want to pursue my happiness.

2025-08-14

test

also test

2025-08-14

Imagine how things between us would be if I met you first

Lately, I realize that we all have done ignoring the β€œbad stuff” in the person who shattered our hearts in pieces again and again because we loved them and at the same time, we all are ignoring the sweetest people in our life to keep that person. To that sweetest person, you know what I’m regretting doing? I regret that I ignored you. Yet deep inside, I wish that I met you first. Imagine how good it would be? I sound selfish, I know but it could have been You and I. Not everyone will have a happy ending, sometimes it ended just like those Hong Kong movies. WE ALL DIED IN THE END.

2025-08-14

Subtly losing her

I can’t do it anymore. I have to admit it. I can never get her out of my heart. I’ve tried and tried and the harder I try to, the bigger hold I discover in my heart. She has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to and there has been countless of times that I wanted to. It has been overwhelming, drowning, suffocating and even deadly painful at times but I could not stop loving her anymore than I could stop breathing. I am hopelessly, irretrievably, subconsciously in love with her. More than she and I would know. I start losing her subtly, but the pain I feel is enormous. I can’t lose her. I really can’t.

2025-08-14

αžœαž·αž”αžαŸ’αžαž·

αž‘αž˜αŸ’αžšαžΆαŸ†αž˜αžΆαž“αž˜αž“αž»αžŸαŸ’αžŸαž˜αŸ’αž“αžΆαž€αŸ‹αŸ—αžŠαŸ‚αž›αž…αžΌαž›αž˜αž€αž‡αžΈαžœαž·αžαž™αžΎαž„ αž’αŸ’αžœαžΎαž²αŸ’αž™αž™αžΎαž„αž˜αžΆαž“αž€αžΆαžšαž…αžΆαž”αŸ‹αž’αžΆαžšαž˜αŸ’αž˜αžŽαŸαž˜αŸ’αžαž„αž˜αŸ’αžαž„ αž˜αž·αž“αž„αžΆαž™αž‘αŸ αž–αž·αžŸαŸαžŸαž‚αžΊαž€αžΎαžαž‡αžΆαž€αŸ’αžαžΈαžŸαŸ’αžšαž›αžΆαž‰αŸ‹αžšαžΉαžαžαŸ‚αž˜αž·αž“αž˜αŸ‚αž“αž‡αžΆαžšαžΏαž„αž„αžΆαž™ αž–αŸ’αžšαŸ„αŸ‡αž˜αž“αž»αžŸαŸ’αžŸαž’αŸ’αž›αžΆαž”αŸ‹αž˜αžΆαž“αžœαž·αž”αžαŸ’αžαž·αžŸαŸ’αž“αŸαž αžΆ αž˜αž·αž“αžŸαžΌαžœαž αŸŠαžΆαž“αž”αžΎαž€αž…αž·αžαŸ’αžαž‘αž‘αž½αž›αž’αŸ’αž“αž€αžαŸ’αž˜αžΈ αŸ• αžŸαž„αŸ’αžƒαžΉαž˜αžαžΆ αž’αŸ’αž“αž€αž”αž“αŸ’αž‘αžΆαž”αŸ‹αž‡αžΆαž’αŸ’αž“αž€αž…αž»αž„αž€αŸ’αžšαŸ„αž™αž‘αŸ…αž…αž»αŸ‡ αž‚αŸ’αž˜αžΆαž“αž–αŸαž›αžœαŸαž›αžΆαžŸαž˜αŸ’αžšαžΆαž”αŸ‹αžŸαŸ’αžœαŸ‚αž„αž™αž›αŸ‹αž’αŸ’αž“αž€αžαŸ’αž˜αžΈαž‘αŸ€αžαž‘αŸ #November

2025-08-14

I think it hits me again…

I think the dep hits me again. I noticed by when my heartbeat started to go fast, sometimes I feel suffocated, I couldn’t catch my breath, I couldn’t concentrate, my hands get shaky, my body feel weak, I got lost of interest in making any decisions, my weight started to lost again. I hate to fall into the conditions but I couldn’t help. I tried asking for help but it doesn’t work, it only makes me feel like I’m different, especially when they try to be too careful with me (it looks to fake, I could see it) It is amazing how my mood changes too quickly, I was just laughing and talking a lot yesterday, but today everything become a sorrow story again. I used to think of getting a therapist, asking an expert on my conditions, but the fact that I was under control by my family and that I couldn’t ride or drive any transportation method at all, make me feel even more bad and useless. I also used to think about reaching them via email or phone calls, but I was too scared, it was too hard for me to make myself do it, so I decided I gave up seeking for mental specialist. I chose to be healed by my own. (I really did heal myself but there was a lot of time the demon hits me back and forth, sometimes I feel really happy and the next minutes I feel like k*lling myself) I don’t know what else should I do. Are there anyone who will be the light for me?

2025-08-14

Let them go :)

αž’αŸ’αžœαžΈαžŠαŸ‚αž›αž‡αžΆαžšαž”αžŸαŸ‹αž™αžΎαž„ αžœαžΆαž‚αž„αŸ‹αžαŸ‚αž€αŸ’αž›αžΆαž™αž‡αžΆαžšαž”αžŸαŸ‹αž™αžΎαž„ αž‘αŸ„αŸ‡αž”αžΈαž˜αžΆαž“αž§αž”αžŸαž‚αŸ’αž‚αžšαžΆαŸ†αž„αž•αŸ’αž›αžΌαžœαž…αŸ’αžšαžΎαž“αž™αŸ‰αžΆαž„αžŽαžΆαž€αŸαžŠαŸ„αž™ αŸ” αžšαžΏαž„αž’αŸ’αžœαžΈαžŠαŸ‚αž›αž‚αž„αŸ‹αžαŸ‚αž€αžΎαžαž‘αžΎαž„ αžœαžΆαž€αŸαž‚αž„αŸ‹αžαŸ‚αž€αžΎαžαž‘αžΎαž„αž“αŸ…αžœαŸαž›αžΆαžŽαžΆαž˜αž½αž™ αž”αžΎαž‘αŸ„αŸ‡αž”αžΈαž‡αžΆαž™αžΎαž„αž–αŸ’αž™αžΆαž™αžΆαž˜αž–αž„αŸ’αžœαžΆαž„αž•αŸ’αž›αžΌαžœαžšαžΆαž”αŸ‹αž†αŸ’αž“αžΆαŸ†αž αžΎαž™αž€αŸαžŠαŸ„αž™ αŸ” αž€αžΆαžšαžŠαŸ„αŸ‡αž›αŸ‚αž„αž‚αŸ αž”αŸ’αžšαŸ€αž”αž”αžΈαžŠαžΌαž…αž‡αžΆαž€αžΆαžšαžŠαŸ„αŸ‡αž›αŸ‚αž„αžαŸ’αž›αž½αž“αž―αž„ αž±αŸ’αž™αž…αžΆαž€αž…αŸαž‰αž–αžΈαž‚αž»αž€αž“αŸƒαžŸαž˜αŸ’αž–αžΆαž’αžŠαŸαžαžΉαž„αžαŸ‚αž„αž˜αž½αž™ αŸ”