now or never

I'd say that I've been in this relationship for almost two years now. Everything started great; it is something that I've always wanted. I was really happy back then with the occasional phone calls, going on dates, and those fun things we did together. But things took a turn after we graduated from high school and covid hit. We didn't do those things anymore. I started pointing out the issues and asked him to put more effort into our relationship. He never bothers to change and always has excuses to the point that I no longer nag him about it. This went on for a year until today, and although I wanted to end things a couple of times, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I am unhappy, yet I am too afraid to break up with him. Recently, I discovered that I like someone. I haven't felt this I-got-a-crush-on-someone kind of feeling for so long, and to be honest, I feel so alive. My gut feeling told me he might like me as well, and I kind of feel guilty about this. I don't want to hurt anybody, but I also want to pursue my happiness.

Feeling bottled up?

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A Tip from PhD in relationship

One Tip I have learnt and I wanna share: Before you let someone into your life, ask them this question “ Do you love yourself enough?” Because only the people who love themselves, can give love.❤️🙂 If they couldn’t love themselves, all they can do it depends on your love to have their happiness and they couldn’t give you the love you deserve, and if you couldn’t satisfy them, they will cheat by finding other to full fill their need ❤️🖋 Hope everyone find a significant other and treat you right, don settle for less❤️🌟

How many time?

How many time do i have to say sorry? I don’t know why I’m the one who said sorry every time my ex texted me. What did i do wrong? Did i cheat like he did? No. But why do I have to keep saying sorry? Is it because i break up with him while he’s cheating behind my back? Do I have to say sorry every fucking time he send me a text that’s he misses me? Please stop haunting me. Im scared, fr. I’m wrong for breaking one’s heart, but who’s responsible for my heartbreak? No one. Please stop i’m begging. I always want my ex to be my friend, no matter how we end it. I still love them as a friend but this guy haunt me like a ghost that I don’t want to mention that I’ve ever been with him. The aftermath is a mess💀

Brief Encounter

To "you", I still remember our first encounter very well. It was a few years ago, it was when I was about to go home but I saw you were struggling with getting your bike out. We were total stranger to one another (even for now). So, I decided to help you. It was a little bit windy day, and as I was helping you, because of a light blow of the wind, flipped up your skirt a little bit. I thought maybe it was uncomfortable for you because of the wind, so I offered my jacket for you to cover yourself, but lucky, you got a motorbike tower of your own. (Sorry for too detail) After I got bike out, we exchange a normal pleasantry, "Thank you very much","you're welcome" and we part way. I only happened to know that you and I were in the class after the incident day. However, back then, I was in my rough patch, and it was so rough that I decided to drop the course. However, Within those few years, you always cross my mind, and I kind of have a fondness for you as well, even though we never got a chance to know each other. I really do wish and hope that we will have our paths cross once again, then we can get to know each other, and somehow, I hope we can work it out, and we end up being together. I really think that you are a very sweet and nice person, I really really like to know you. As if you were book that I would spend the rest of my time to read. (Even I'm not quite a reader) Hope you see this, and hope you remember me as I remember you. From a stranger.

He and She: For no reason

It's been almost a year since we last fought. A few months ago, you said we should be friends. I complied. Then next, you said we should not talk anymore since you are selfish and you have been hurting me along so you don't want to continue by any means. I also complied. In both times, I said nothing for I did respect your decision. But hear me this, my dear, he knows you twos never talk properly and you never give him proper answers the way he wants and he never forces you to do it. But perhaps, you twos could have a talk once? Maybe he could tell you all the stories from his side? I know this is a just stupid thing to ask for but at least he asked (I know asking someone anonymously from a confession text is of course more stupid). The crush of one of his friends has just got a girlfriend today. He asked her how she feels about that but she said okay. He wonders when it will be his turn, to know that you got into a relationship with somebody else. He saw that you have fallen in love again. So there is a piece of advice for you. Pursue that love if you have thought thoroughly that it will bring the happiness you have always wished for. Don't feel pressured if your ex still thinks of you because that one is an idiot and a dumb one to still think of his ex despite everything his ex has said to him. Let him be and pursue your new love. Perhaps, when he knows you are in a new relationship, he will realize how dumb he has been and may consider stopping thinking of you. He may still think of you, but I don't think he will be too selfish to be mad at you for getting into a new relationship. Actually, I am not sure what I am writing now, I just hope you don't know who I am. I just wish all the best to you and your career. Thanks for reading the story of He and She: for no reason. Ohh, by the way, Merry Christmas to you.

“Chill”

No matter what kind of questions I’m bringing up it will only lead to one thing. On how you wanna be with yourself. You can’t tell someone to stop thinking and be chill with you. You make me feel like I’m asking a lot from you, while I only want 1hour to 2 hour of your 24 hour divided into any given time of the day, to do little things that make someone you care about feel a little special. It’s that kind of thing you gave up which means a lot to her. The time that you decided to spare to make her happy, does it make you a little happy to see her happy?

If I want you to "reply my chat" as your first priority, is that hard for you?

When it comes to reply your chat, it always stay as my first priority. Whenever I see my phone, what I think is that I always want to reply your chat. But when it comes to you, everything is opposite. When you hold your phone, the first thing that you think is not about replying my chat. Is that hard just to type a word and send it to me? Is that hard just to put me in the first priority?

Temporary Unknown Status

Hey, you are the one who decided to break up and also you are the one who ignored and closed the communication even said we can’t continue anymore. As time goes by, I’m trying to heal myself and move on, you showed up acting like all the above things didn’t happen. When I ask why would you come back, you said there must be a reason but you don’t know it too. So I’m wondering what am I to you really? A toy?

crushing

I spend most of my morning thinking about you. My thoughts take me back to the moments when we first met. I remembered how those smiles of yours have captured my heart. I still recall the conversations we had, the laughs we shared, and every other thing that included you in there. Sometimes, I would daydream about you, and I get butterflies. I spend most of my evening wondering if we get to talk. I always wanted to talk to you but was too afraid to approach you. And whenever you texted me, my day just got better. I hope that our paths will cross one day because I want to see you again.