Suicidal thought
It comes again...that thought and why its keep whisper in my ear and keeping running in my brain telling me i should die so everything will be fine? Why is it me? Why am i being like this?
How many time do i have to say sorry? I don’t know why I’m the one who said sorry every time my ex texted me. What did i do wrong? Did i cheat like he did? No. But why do I have to keep saying sorry? Is it because i break up with him while he’s cheating behind my back? Do I have to say sorry every fucking time he send me a text that’s he misses me? Please stop haunting me. Im scared, fr. I’m wrong for breaking one’s heart, but who’s responsible for my heartbreak? No one. Please stop i’m begging. I always want my ex to be my friend, no matter how we end it. I still love them as a friend but this guy haunt me like a ghost that I don’t want to mention that I’ve ever been with him. The aftermath is a mess💀
It comes again...that thought and why its keep whisper in my ear and keeping running in my brain telling me i should die so everything will be fine? Why is it me? Why am i being like this?
So I started high school, and for the first year I felt like a total outsider. But then I met some amazing people who made me happier than I had ever been. We all became super tight in that first year, and I managed to win over one of them to the point where she fell for me. But here's the thing: I'm gay. I didn't want to fake anything, so I had to end it. It was done in two weeks, and both of us were hurt. I know it's not as tragic as some of the other stories out there, and she has definitely moved on by now, but what kills me is that I lost one of my best friends. It was tough because we were part of a big group of friends, so we kept seeing each other throughout the rest of high school. To make it even more complicated, our moms became besties. And every time we saw each other, there was this awkward invisible wall between us. I acted like I didn't care, and she didn't seem to either, but for some reason I just can't let go. Even though I'm gay, I still think I could have been in love with her. In fact, I think I still am. We crossed paths again at a New Year's party. We exchanged a few meaningless words at the start, but even after we got pretty drunk, nothing happened. I keep having dreams about her since then, where we're friends again and we're just hanging out with other people. It's such a warm and comforting feeling. But I know it's something that I won't ever get to experience again for real.
ពួកយេីងបានបែកគ្នាហើយ តែខ្ញុំនៅស្រឡាញ់គេ គេក៏នៅស្រឡាញ់ខ្ញុំ គេប្រច័ណ្ឌពេលខ្ញុំលេងជាមួយអ្នកផ្សេង ខ្ញុំក៏ដូចជាគេ ហេីយពួកយេីងឆាតSweet ជាធម្មតា គ្រាន់តែមិនមែនជា Relationship តេីបែបនេះគេហៅថាអ្វី?🥲
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Pretty as flower Cold as the wind breeze You will always shine, Our memories will stay but neither of us will be together.
My mental health is breaking down so is my mind. The cheerful me have gone and I wish I could have someone who stay by my side and tell me “Everything will be fine.” :)
When I was a kid I wanted to marry my dad when I grow up. In my eyes, he was the ideal husband. Growing up to an adult now I am, it's been 1 year since I last talked with my dad. All of the experience I witnessed from hurting my mom to verbally abused my mental health, I grew apart and swear to myself I will never meet anyone like my dad. It's probably affect to my relationship life because I somehow ended up taking a bare minimum to feel loved. I somehow fool myself that it was love while instead it wasnt even close to love. I have a daddy issue and I afraid that I no longer looking in love in a man or knowing what I deserve more in love.
I hate myself that I still see red flag whom I put everything into it but it doesn’t seem any development. But I do ignore green flag whom always ask me about my 3 meals per days, the first one that come to his mind after he woke up and sent me good morning every morning and good night text before he go to sleep, to ask how my day was, how tiring am I after work, did I get home safe, can he have this or this, replies to my every freaking stories…..etc. But I actually ignored him just for the red flag whom I only get his texts when he’s drunk or h-rny because we both do! Also I’m always waiting his text, his replies, and sometime I heard the things that I shouldn’t have to hear it. But I do. Is there anyone who relate to this? And did u overcome it? If yes, how? And if not, hope we’d overcome it sooner.