It was fun while it lasted.

Day by day we started to talk less and less. I tried my best to keep it going but you acted I’m annoying you. Sometimes, I wish that our long conversation will come back but I know that it probably won’t because I thought about it one sided. I always the second choice to anyone in my entire life but at first you made me feel like I’m not your second choice but not anymore. Is it because you’ve found someone else? I have so so many things left unsaid and I think that it’s better off that way.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

A happy ending

Everywhere, everyone out there is busy finding their “the one”. It’s funny how instead of finding ‘’the one”, why don’t people actually try to find themselves instead? Well, what can I say cause love is blind right? and I once been blinded by it too. “Two teenagers meet, fell in love and they live happily ever after” is probably would be a tale that you would usually hear or see in movie but these kind of stuffs does not really exist in real life, in my opinion. Our story began when we both were in dark places. Starting off, to me, you were just nothing more than an acquaintance. After some time getting to know you, every time we talked, I started noticing that you were trying to keep the conversation going, that you were trying to get close to me and you would eager to know, to learn more about me and ask about the things I like. I, on the other hand, knew from the beginning and told myself that I wouldn’t let you get in my head because I get attached easily and it’s a way to protect myself. But instead of putting label between us, I keep opening up and letting you in even though I know I was gonna get hurt later on. We grew a lot closer over time and you would help me with literally anything I’ve asked you to, you would ask how my day was, whether I’ve eaten, you would cheer me up when I’m down, you would send me stuffs and said that it remind me of you, you would open up with me and rant to me about whatever things that are on your mind which you were too afraid to speak to the world about, you would told me about your goals and dreams. Not long after that, we were each other’s safe space and talking to you were my happy hours. Little did I knew, I started to like you and I would get this stupid butterflies every time you complimented me. But people change once they meet someone new or they just change as time passed by right? Yes, after some times, I started to get bored of you and I knew you kinda did too. We eventually stopped talking to one another and of course my pride is high and I wouldn’t text you first cause I don’t want to sound desperate. During the time we stopped talking, at first, I overthought everything, did I do sth wrong? did you not want to talk to me cause you need space or you get tired of me? Will we talk again soon? Am I that easy to replace? It drained my energy mentally and I was going insane but after giving it some thoughts, I stopped questioning the situation and just let it be. I later found out the “things” you did and realized that you were just taking me for granted just to pass your time. Naive of me to thought that you were not a red flag cause after all, you became all the things that you told me you wouldn’t be. So, of course, I decided to gave up cause if not, I’ll only end up destroying myself even more. Moving on is a really hard process for me but luckily, I have my amazing best friends by my side and they lift me up from my sorrow during this hard time.To sum up, I wouldn’t say meeting you is a nice accident or a bad one either but it’s more like an ending to a new beginning of finding and learning more about myself and giving the love that I need without having to depend it on anyone and a lesson to protect my heart better next time. I feel like writing this all down allows me to finally close the chapter and buried this petty love story here as I decided I don’t want to be stuck on the past anymore and to move on with my life so guess this is where our memories parted. It might be a long process to be better but im getting better bit by bit, day by day. Cheer to a happy ending of finally finding my own self<3

2025-08-14

You

''I got my hopes up.'' He whispered. ''About what?'' She asked. ''About you actually loving me back." ''I tried to show you I loved you and you wouldn’t let me which is fine.'' ''But you know the worst feeling is when you find out you didn't mean as much to someone as you thought you did and you look so stupid for caring too much." "I'm sorry.'' She said.

2025-08-14

You're Not Sorry

You're not sorry for hurting someone. You're not sorry for taking advantage of someone else's feeling for you. You're not sorry for making them feel low and pathetic. You're only thinking that you feel sorry because that's the only way to reassure yourself that you weren't actually in the wrong but, in fact, that doesn't actually stop you from repeating it. There's no excuse for you. You never care but it would have at least been better if you didn't care enough to actually care to hurt someone who's currently yearning for you. It's crazy how those who hurts will only continue to hurt, the excruciating pain. When you can't overcome the trauma and agony, you were seen to be weak and that you're the only one allowing yourself to get hurt. That could be true but that doesn't always mean that they aren't trying to break free. When reality has seeped in and escaping is succeeded, "I" will understand how relieved it would be and that's what I set to believe. You are not sorry and I am not seeking for your sympathy on the torment you have caused. Regrets and joys are mixed up in a resulted development but let's all be enlighten by it. With hopes.

2025-08-14

is it really a "karma" or "love" in this generation sucks

i saw admin's post #AdminKJ001, i kinda agree but during this time, no matter how good u did, u still get ur heart broken. somehow, i still believe in love bcuz of the way i love. yet, im better off alone bcuz love in this generation sucks. prolly, no one deserved my feelings and love anymore.

2025-08-14

My gorgeous

ehh pretty! u're such a good girl, u've met. once upon a time, u gave the feeling that u're really caring, but i was wrong. ur sweet voice, ur soft tone, ur beautiful eye sight are melting my heart everytime. btw, oh my sweetest, u're with lots of person, u kinda did the same way as u treat me. I don't know why u r into that person, before i figured out i think that u r such a lovely girl, soft hearted, but u failed me. u used everyone to help u most of time, and for me, i'm happy to be in used ^^ but not everytime. when i yeah share this scenario, just a scenario, to my fri, they said that the boii is being shxting used, hahahaha. and i'm yeah, ok XD tbh just a few words to u, pretty, please dun be like that, one day u'll lose them <3

2025-08-14

I'm lonely

I'm not a model, but I'm educated. I'm witty. I like to travel. I'm interesting. I do great things on my own, but I'm still lonely. My friends think I don't try, but I do. I ask guys out but they don't follow up. I had a good dating life...in that I dated amazing guys, but lately I haven't had relationship in almost two year. I miss it, a lot. Now and again, I have those dark thoughts of 'what's wrong with me?'. Well, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm great. But I am also alone. I feel like people in my life look to me as a source of strength, because in most facets of my life I am very independent. I feel like a fraud. I feel like I need to admit to myself that I am very lonely.

2025-08-14

Maybe in another life, where fate wouldn't be as cruel.

Have you ever seen couples whose have healthy relationships that meant together, would have happily ever after but out of sudden decided to go to separate way yet still loves each other?. Until these days I have seen a lot of couples that break up because of incompatibility. Not until it happened to my sister and I started to question that “Is there as such a thing as right person at the wrong time?”. Meeting the right person at the wrong time can be life changing when it doesn’t work out the way we desire. It’s harsh to accept but I wish that they would have a happy ending. Seeing them from strangers to friends to lovers, then strangers again, I just hope the cycle brings their souls together one last time.

2025-08-14

What is forever?

What does it mean when someone used to promise that we will be forever together. But then how long is that forever? Maybe I define it wrongly by myself….. his meaning of forever is different from mine…… Maybe I’m too dumb to believe in such words, such promise.