What's wrong with me?

I don't really know what happens. I just feel sorry for everyone and sorry for myself. Every day seems heavy. feel like crying and tiring without doing anything. Feeling lost, no goal. I remember my friends told me to create one if you don't have any dreams. But how if I don't even know what do I love? I'm such an idiot. There's a lot of things running inside my head and I just want anybody to listen without judging me but everyone looks so busy. I'm just a troublemaker. Still, what's happened? what do I actually feel? I hate being like this. I'm lost.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

Will we be something?

I have a crush on my senior, idk when was it that I start have that feeling. I like him a lot but I always hide my emotions sooo well, uhhmm I’m not quite sure tho abt this😂. I think we start to get pretty close lately that he share about his plan with me without telling anyone else and of course I’m always the supporter, he even help me with my health issue he tryna find the solution for me and he even helping me out a lot, like guiding me to his uni since I want to study there too. He encouraged me with so many things. But I’m still not sure if we both have a mutual feeling… I never expected much since he always a kind person he might have done the same things to everyone.

2025-08-14

I am just a sore-loser

Disclaimer: If you're sensitive to any pessimistic contents, please skip this. You would not want anything to discourage you. I do not know where to start or what to write but here is my story. I'm born in good family, somehow i feel my life is not. I do not if i am overthinking or i am being too emotional. I am youngest child, my age is over 2 decades, my parents are over half of hundred. I am just still live by my parents, accomplish nothing but troubles. My parents spent nearly a million of dollars for my education somehow i feel to learn n.th useful to make them proud. My friends at this point, they made the name for themselves, they have a family. I feel like i am a lose. i fail as a child, as brother, and as a friend. I do a lot of things to disappoint my family. I know my family is well-known but this burden has pressure me more since i have a lot of expectation from people. In life, i want to have friends to hang out with but no one want to be near me, i had friends only in high-school that was because i see them everyday after that we cut off the contact. Even with my parents, i seem to grow distance, i could not do anything to help them. I want to be near them but i do not know how or where should i start. People might see me as out-going, friendly, extrovert but inside i am just a boring guy, emotional sh**, loner. I feel like darkness is my favourite place, like Batman but Batman is rich while i m poor. I just want to run off from home, and cut off the contacts just to free everyone's burden. I see myself with no real skill or ability even now i am just too afraid to be in love too, i know no one wants a useless guy. When people ask me, why do not i hang-out with my friends? I do not want to answer them, just because they do not like me, i do not blend in, or i have no friends. I know nothing beside being in the gym, fashion, and beauty. They are useless since I am not a model. It contributes nothing as incomes, only splurging. I need someone to understand me, lend me their shoulders, and telling me "Everything is alright", and somehow i just want to be alone. I sometime feel numb from sarcasm. I am also afraid to be in love since i got rejected on every of my confessions, i feel like i am not good enough for anyone, i just afraid to be in love, afraid to hurt someone too. I am just too insecure about everything. so far, i think i have reached my opinions. I do not know what to say anymore Thanks for reading

2025-08-14

A bad friend

This is not a story but it is a apology letter to my friend. I am sorry for being a bad friend. I am sorry that for these past days, I’ve been ignoring you. It is not your fault but it is mine. The reason is because I am mad of myself. I am mad because I am such a horrible friend for getting jealous of you. I envy everything about you; however, this envy turns into jealousy. Your studies are going very great, you got a real job and you manage to make lots of friend. While me on the other hand, my studies is going down, I don’t even have a real job and I barely make any friends. You are such a great friend to me. I am very happy seeing you on your way to your success, but I couldn’t help to compare your success with my failure. I sincerely apologize to you my friend. It was wrong of me to get jealous. I won’t ask you for your forgiveness. Please continue on your great journey to success my dear friend.

2025-08-14

Hiim

We broke up 10months ago. Ik we both still have feelings for each other. Idk wht I feel rn and I have no one to talk this out to. We were tgt for 600days+ I don’t wanna back to him and I wanna see him happy I don’t wanna back to him and I jealous of him. I don’t wanna back to him and I’m so confuse with this. And now he’s been chit chat with his ex crush for 1week+ alr He said he confess his feelings with her and she has feelings for him too … , he found his happiness right?? Haha Jat Tuk Tha I built him for someone else jos… ** he and his aunt used to talk shit abt me since we broke up mok **

2025-08-14

Being played???

It is probably selfish of me to assume that you were having any feelings on me like I did (kinda still do) for you. With shared interests, I thought that we were vibing just fine. Hell, you even made me feel special. I do not know much about you besides the rare and random interests that we shared, but I truly appreciate the time we spent chatting overnight at when I felt loved during my darkest times. After I learned the news about you going abroad, I felt conflicted. I knew that it was such an opportunity for you, but I also wished that I had spent more time getting to know you better. The thing is that I wanted to express my gratitude and love for you. I just wanted to put it out there. I do not have any intention of wanting to start anything anytime soon, for I do not want to mistake my loneliness and sadness for love. I held my breath for a while. I thought that I genuinely would wait for you. You truly did give me hope, but it seems to be a false hope....I feel gutted. Because after a while, I had my suspicion and learned that the whole time you were with someone else, yet you gave such a sense of love. I feel played for not knowing anything and for being given such false joy. I waited and waited for something that would never come. Maybe it is just a one-sided thing. Maybe I am feeling lonely. Then again, maybe I am just selfish, lonely, and deluded for thinking about any of this because at the end of the day I do not hold anything against you, but I genuinely thank you for all of the times and things that we shared. Lastly, I wish you the best. K

2025-08-14

All the clouds in me are raining

I’ve been questioning my life lately and I try freaking hard to become the best version of myself everyday. Living away from home without having my parents by my side is something I’ve never done before and I admit that my life has changed so much since the day I left home. I’m constantly teary knowing how much they worry about me. They are the ONLY reason why I keep going and still living this freaking life. If it weren’t for them, my existence wouldn’t have existed until now. I admit that I appreciate where I am now. I truly am! But at some points, I feel like the life I’m living is currently draining me day by day. I cannot see the purpose of life and it stressed me out whenever I think of the word ‘future’. It’s so dark and I cannot see anything. My anxiety keeps telling me the worst scenarios because I know that I cannot be the one everyone expects me to be. I might look normal but deep down inside I’m just a sad soul. No one knows how hard it is for me to survive each day. Having anxiety and insecurities about everything. Being a professional overthinker who worry even at a little thing and always wake up tired from a vivid dream… I don’t want to live like this but it’s not like I have a choice. The more I grow up, the more I start questioning my life and wondering why I live like this. I’m turning 19 next month and my only wish is that I can survive til I’m 20… -J
2025-08-14

My Fault

-N💗 Im sorry for hurting you. It was childish of me to do that to you. I don’t expect u to forgive me. I wish I could take every ounce of pain u feel right now. I love you, always. #221020
2025-08-14

Indecisive

Who would you choose between the one you love and the one who loves you?