I dun even know what to say. Everything seem so heavy to me. I wonder if this world just this cruel or it just me, the problem. _n
ទម្រាំមានមនុស្សម្នាក់ៗដែលចូលមកជីវិតយើង ធ្វើឲ្យយើងមានការចាប់អារម្មណ៍ម្តងម្តង មិនងាយទេ ពិសេសគឺកើតជាក្តីស្រលាញ់រឹតតែមិនមែនជារឿងងាយ ព្រោះមនុស្សធ្លាប់មានវិបត្តិស្នេហា មិនសូវហ៊ានបើកចិត្តទទួលអ្នកថ្មី ៕ សង្ឃឹមថា អ្នកបន្ទាប់ជាអ្នកចុងក្រោយទៅចុះ គ្មានពេលវេលាសម្រាប់ស្វែងយល់អ្នកថ្មីទៀតទេ #November
I don't know why i still love you even you cheated on me. Am i insane?
Throw back to yr 1, I think I had the most beautiful moment crushing on someone. She's my first love, I'm just not lucky enough to make her mine. Plus I crushed on her knowing she got a boyfriend. We became close, probably because of our personalities match and had alot of things in common. I think she is a type I always ask for. We got the same age, but she is so much more mature. She cared and noticed every little thing about me. She always make me feel special. Sometimes, we hold hands in the mall and during class. She used to called me her soulmate. We are lovebird in our class. I kept rejecting, saying no when our classmates talked about us as a couple.(inside, smiling and wishing it was true) xD I really miss me being with her. I miss reading book, paying attention in class, finishing my homework, learning new things, improving my grammar, caring my own health, going to gym, eating healthy food, being kind to other, fullfiling my commitment, keep things under control, keeping my promise, calming down my anger, being a reasonable person, being okay to say sorry. I miss being a better person, just to catch her attention. I miss trying to be a person that come in package. Being an understanding, a sweet, responsible, respectful and a romantic boyfriend, that she always wanted. I remembered days, the first thing I do when I got school is looking for her white scoopy and pink helmet. Everytime I saw her motor at the parking lot, I was so happy going to class, knowing I'm going to see her in any minute soon. Till today, with a little pain in my heart, such a warming one, I still can say I'm glad not telling her about my feeling toward her. We are now still friend, kinda close as before. I got a girlfriend, and sometimes I run to her when I fight with my girlfriend. She's still the same, being an understanding one, giving advice and comfort with care. I'm glad, staying in her life in a position that I able to hear everything about her, everything she wanna talk and going through. I'm glad being a shoulder she can cry on, playing her hair, stabbing her head gently anytime I want to. I am now graduated 3yr already. If I can keep it this long time, I really wish this can be forever. I think I am now being selfish. The thought of losing her is really scary. PS: I am gay.
Just as close as a family she said... So us having something secretive behind the group is considered a betrayal. Him being uncomfortable talking about it and is still unsure about me, her pushing me to tell everyone as soon as possible, so we can discuss about it with the group because what me and him are doing is considered to be more than sinful. Following her, will lose me him. Following him, will lose me her. Leave it as it is and we will all lose each other. And me being in the middle of it, makes it easier for me to blame it all on myself when I can't even fully understand what it's turning into. I love them so much, I love everyone so much. But can I just have a bit more time, "Her"? And can you give us a chance to try it in a different way , "him"? I know I'm so "immature" to you guys but trust me a little, will you? Because I'm so close to end me for the sake of everyone.
To you my priority, since the day you left, I’m certain that I’m not the same person as I used to be. I’m sure that my feeling right now isn’t okay and it hurts me the most. I wanted to let you know that, you’re the only one who made me know what love is, you’re the only one who made me feel warm and secure while I was with you, you’re the only one that my love for you is still the same since our first day until now, you’re the only one whom I have any plans for the future. All of the sacrifices, efforts, and times that I put in, I didn’t expect anything in return, other than your love and dedication. I did everything just to make you feel that you’re the only one that got all of those things from me, not everyone else. I did everything just to make you feel happy, warm, and comfortable. I’ve never stopped daydreaming about how I’m going to build my life, buy my first house, first car with you, and marry you one day. You know what? I see you every two weeks, and when I return home I feel as if I've lost something that no one or nothing can replace. I had the feeling that I was leaving something behind that would never come back. I miss you, I'm upset, I didn’t want to return home, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re the only one, when I’m having fun and all I could think of is what if you were right here with me? I’d go on trips and while living in the moment, I allowed my imaginations to get ahead of me and I was able to picture you beside me and I got that feeling of “how nice would it be for you to be here with me”. To me, you’re perfect. To me, you’re beautiful as always in my eyes. I’m grateful you came into my life, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. My love for you hasn't changed, and no one can take your place in my heart, my mind, and my brain. And I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you. Sorry that I can’t keep you by my side. I’m still hoping everyday that you will come back to me again. You’re special to me. I’m so proud to have you in my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Your photo is still in my wallet, and your picture is still on my lock screen wallpaper. I wrote these letters with a song that I used to sing for you, When you’re home - Tyler Shaw. It’s 3AM now and I’m still thinking about you. I hope you will come back to me! #NL
Well, I had a feeling for someone who’s I never met in my entire life. But idk I feel wrong at some points cuz I alr confessed to that person. Um, it was actually the most embarrassing moment of my life to reveal what I actually think n rlly want that person to know even tho we’re just strangers. We agreed to be friends by now but it’s feel weird after that stupid confession. I wish I didn’t send that cuz it’s better to be strangers who don’t know each one exists. (Ik its vol n I’m sorry.)
I'm sorry I couldn't properly say good bye to you nor celebrate ur birthday with u as I planned, but hey, I'm glad you've found someone who makes you feel happier, who treats you better and someone that you can be yourself around her. I'm so happy for you! Now that you've found ur one, I shouldn't be worried anymore. And it’s time for me to disappear from ur life. Please take care of urself na and I know she'll take better care of u! Lastly, thank you for all the beautiful memory we shared. Your love for me may disappeared but our memories won’t and at least we met… Be happy and last long my dear D.V! Love you as always, From a clumsy girl you once loved.
it breaks my heart when it looked to me as if everything was going very well between us but then you turned on me. You stopped giving back the same energy, i no longer see the effort from you. It breaks me to pieces when the you i used to know began treating me like shit then you try to explain yourself through your millions of excuses.