This is my true story which I haven't told anyone beside one person... Let start from 2011, when I was 13 years old. I met a girl in my Chinese class, she was 2 years younger than me, she was a energetic, outgoing and have cheerful spirit. Our first met start by arguing with each other about her friend's table space (we were just kids XD). Then I start falling for her. However, I was overage mature, I started thinking that we both are too young, and we wont go far even if we start. Then I start suppressing my own feeling and start to feel dead inside and I became cold and speak less and less. 3 years later, we graduated from the Chinese school (Grade 9th). During the year, I also feel that she is also into me but I still think that we both were too young (at that time, I even imagined we both falling for each other and start a family, silly me XD) and slowly, I was pushing her away while I were hurting my own feeling. I planned to confess 2 years later if we both make it to the final graduated, but she dropped out and I were still hopelessly falling for her. I didn't let thing stop there, I started stalking on the social media but never have the courage to talk to her and slowly we became stranger. During the years, she started to falling into relationships and broke up over and over again, I saw her got her heart broken and it broke mine as well. How can you bear to see the person you fell in love with getting hurt again and again. Through that experience, she started to change, she started using bad words, drinking, going to club.etc. and she became a completely different person I once knew. I don't blame her for that, anyone would fall to that after got in to multiple toxic relationships. During that time, I used to told this story to my female friend and she promised me to keep it as secret and she did. That female friend also have a feeling for me but got rejected. How can you love other person when you got one deep down in the bottom of your heart. I know it hurts you alot, but please forgive me. I apologized from the bottom of my heart. I wish you met someone who would love you as much as a human heart can do. I dont want to intrude you with my story. Sorry again. Back to the story, at the time I'm writing all this, she is in her latest relationship and I wish her all the best, I hope this relationship will lead to marriage. I wish you would live a happy life. You don't deserve pain. I apologized for not being there when you suffered from all the pain you encountered. You have changed from the person I once knew to a completely different person. but my love for you won't change. Because of all that I can't fall in love easily, I start to fear the terms love. I shall put an end to this pathetic story, may be I should free myself from you and start to fall in love again (it wont the same as last time) but I will give my all in my next relationship, I wont let the person I love suffer the way we did. From the person who crushed you for 11 years... Have a good life.
Befor we us are best friends, but everything has changed. When I rejected your love.I want everything as before, why not? Why run away from me? Why not talk to me.Why pretend not to know me? Why change school? Why? Why can not we be as good friends as before? 4 years of friendship is not less, why did you choose this way? I want to say thanks very much for everything,I hope you know. Iβm Sorry Boyπ¦
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I know you read my messages from your notification. I know that when you claim you were busy, you were actually on your phone scrolling and chatting with your friends in a cafe. When you said you were busy, I know you were playing games or watching a movie. You messaging me is a choice and I messaging you is a duty. You take me for a granted...a friend whom you could rely on in terms of school work. I am that friend whom you could use whenever you feel like you need a female company. I am the friend who is there for you to practice your flirting skills. I am the friend who, after you finish scrolling up and down your newsfeed 5 times, will open the message and decide whether or not u should message back. I am the friend who recieves the message "huhβ after 10 hours of trying to ask for help saying "im in pain, there is no one here.β So do not text me five days later that you forgot to check your phone even though I saw you share memes 3 days ago. Do not text an apology and ask about how i felt because i went through hell and you choose to ignore it. Do not look at me with those eyes as if I am the only girl in the world and that no one else matters because clearly I can be on my deathbed right now and you will still decide to check up on me "tomorrowβ. Do not share posts about how heartbroken you are when you see me flirt with someone who actually cares about me and do not update me on your activities like we are something when we arent. We're just friends so stop acting like we're lovers and you're the boyfriend giving excuses for ignoring his girlfriend. We're just friends and you are already breaking me apart, taking me for granted, and forcing me up a rollercoaster ride of confusion and pain....imagine how it will be if you are more than a friend.
Your last text! Hi I have something to say.... I want to make something clear about something that I assume we both know.... i saw your video and i am pretty sure that I am the one who cause you to become like this... i am so sorry if the action that i express may lead to your wrong interpretation, that on my side. I want to make things clear as soon as I realize you don't think me just a friend, however it might ruin our friendship which i am not looking forward to.... you are a great person you deserve someone that truly for you, you don't need to wish that you were others.. you are great the way you are. You might not meet the one yet. But for a person like you, you deserve this whole world and someone that you truly deserve. I felt really guilty to be honest that we came to this point that you are suffering, effecting you mentally which I have never intended to..., i should have told you earlier than this... sorry but we could be no more than friends. If you don't mind I would be prefer if we remain just like before. I can not stand to see someone suffering because of me. this might hurt now but hopes it fade away as time goes by. Hope you understand and i hope i made things clear for both of our sides. Thank you for being the best supporter, helper, friends and adviser.
I think you donβt even know that βBβ is the nickname I put for you, itβs like 3 in 1 βBabe, Bong and your nameβ. Now youβre just βBongβ like everyone else, youβre not my βBβ anymore. You know I actually notice how you started to lose interest. Iβm a person who always stay quiet so when I see that you act like that I started to detach myself but still it hurts, it hurts so bad when you finally decided to ask me for a breakup. I prepared for it for months but when it really happened, I still canβt quite grasp the situation. Honestly, Iβm so jealous of other couples they share with each other everything while you.. youβre so closed off. Whenever I ask about sth you always divert the topic or just ignore the questions. FYI, when I asked i alr know the answer. (βFBI friendsβ I have them too π€·π»ββοΈ) I act like I didnβt notice tho cus I hate arguing. Well, whatever I hope youβre happy. And I hope youβd at least give your next girl the bare minimum. Please treat her well. Donβt let her beg for your time and attention like I had to do. React on her posts, post her, take her out, you know the simple little gestures. From: T π₯°
I have my own principles and I know others have theirs as well, but my recent continuous experiences leaves bad taste to my mouth to the point that I feel like I should stop putting myself in others ppl shoes. 1. I wonβt flirt or date or try to win anyoneβs bf just to feel superior. I just donβt want to flatter men by bringing other women down. 2. I donβt accept cheater, the one that cheated on their gf to be with me or have the cheated in their past relationships. 3. I donβt date my close friβs or friendsβ or somewhat ppl from the circlesβ exes. Or even think about waiting to be the replacements of someone after they broke up. (Itβs pathetic tbh) Story time: I had a long distance relationship with one boy, which later I found out that heβs been cheating on me with at least 3 different girls during the entire relationship. And I found that out from one of the girl that dump his ass after she found out he cheated on her. He dated me and her at the same time, but she caught him dating with other girls and she didnβt know i also one of his victim, she dumped his ass. After my intense research, I finally found her and gather all my guts to ask howβs relationship with him was like, because he had ghosted me for almost a week and I saw him posting and playful cmt with his βbest Friβ (from what he told me ;). Long story short I was a home wrecker to his ex and so is other girls at the time. I feel very bad for being so, because I didnβt know that bitch is a cheater. He manipulated the story as sheβs the cheater thatβs why he ended the relationship. As a fucking coward he is, he never responds to me finding out heβs a cheater, I reached out to that βbest Friβ of his directly. I reached out with good intention and was really polite and explain the whole situation why I want to reach out to her, surprisingly sheβs acting bitchy to me and confirm that him and her are only Fri theyβre been Fri for over 5 years and nth more. So I apologized her for suspecting her and later them bitches feel so relieved that I ended things with him, they start going public. So they started dating around February or even earlier than that who know? And the time I asked for confirmation from either one of them is in April. That means she know exactly who I was and know exactly that bitch is a fucking cheater. So, I realize some ppl are really okay with being home wrecker without guilt or shame. Thereβs some ppl are okay with being with the cheater who cheated on their partner to be with them. And my case also happen to my friendsβ cases as well. Just because I wonβt do that, doesnβt mean others will stick to the same principles as me. I was so naive. Another story time: my ex and I from the same class and friends circle. βFri Aβ from the circle was always praise my ex of how well he treated me and when asked about whatβs her type she always said my ex was her type. Some other βfriendsβ often joke around whenever I had small argument or not get along with my ex in front of them, they always said that I should take a good care of my ex, if I donβt want him, βFri Aβ will help take care of him. Always jokes around of how βFri Aβ volunteer to be replacement. It was jokes after all I never suspected of her or let it to be the source of the arguments. One of the reason that my ex and I broke up is because I feel tired of being treated less and always second option of that group of Fri that has βFri Aβ in it. I admitted I was jealous of the way he treated them compared to me, cuz I have to always beg him to treat me the same as he treated them. My feelings are never validated as he always choose the crowd instead of considering if any of his actions would ever affected my feelings or not. So over 6 months of our break up he came to ask me if we could be back tgt again but I didnβt agree but we kinda keep our relationships in a good term as a friend until one day he mistreated me by bailing out on me when I begged him that I need his company the most. I was disappointed bcuz I was considering to go back to him again as I can see his effort and he improved a lot after the break up. I stopped talking to him and ghosted him even if he trying to reach out to me. The time line here is that the last text he ever reached out to me is in July and from what I heard they dated around Sep or Oct because I saw they went on countdown trip tgt, meet his mom (in which I begged him but never happen even if we dated over a year, I thought maybe it was too soon for him thatβs why rarely mention how much I want him to introduce me to his mom). Sometimes later, he and my βFri Aβ dated, which I didnβt know bcuz I was on break from social media almost a year, and non of my close fri mention about it, bcuz they didnβt want me to know. I active socially media again and found out like 7-8 months later after their relationship. I feel betrayed, disgusted, and kinda funny at the same time. Not really surprised tho but it just hits me and everything started to making sense to me. It donβt affect me that much , it only helps boost my self esteem and solves all the doubt that whether I should give him a chance or maybe I was too harsh and childish at that time maybe I should take a few steps back that relationship would work smoothly. All these experiences teach me one big lesson βjust because u wouldnβt do it, doesnβt mean others wonβt, tooβ
At times, people mention how time heals, and I used to wonder how easily they could say that without understanding what I was going through. My problems felt small in the grand scheme of the universe, yet they were enormous in my miniature world. Despite this, I pressed on, with an inner longing to experience the beauty and terror of life. It's remarkable how unpredictable our futures can be. The me from last year would never have imagined the life I am having today. I've found peace within myself and with those around me, but as things improve, new problems arise to occupy my thoughts. I remind myself not to let these concerns disrupt my newfound peace, knowing that when I look back on my current self a year from now, these little details will likely be forgotten. So, yes, time does indeed have a healing effect even if it doesnβt look like it would help.
One upon the time, there was me and a guy. A guy who I could lose myself for him even my life. And also had another guy who always there when I need help. Let back to reality, when you heard a word β love β what was the most meaningful come cross to your mind? To me that was the a beautiful cloudy day which is became to bad storm with sec. The beautiful didnβt last, you are the one who was been in love one side while he wasnβt. I donβt know what zone we have been through but sometimes we looks like a couple and the other we became a sibling and not too long we became a stranger. It hard to blame on me while he was made me confusing all the time. The way he was taking care the way he treated me those actions ghosting me every night. I tried to talk to him about our relationship, he just pushed me away stopped not to talk. Before I have the feeling for him I have asked him many time about his personal life I mean doesnβt he dating someone yet, the answer I got he is single who not having much time to thing about loving stuff. I trust those with and I could not find anything about his love life on social media also. We talked we laughed we chitchat, hanged out, eating out but we never called that was dating. Even we went on the trip together just 2 of us. I was thinking about does man always doing those stuff with a girl he not even like a bit!?! Does he like me?!? If not why he took me here while these are couple usually did. I was talking to myself everyday thinking all about his attitude. And now I realized I have been used, I still have no idea that he was dating someone or not but I just no that he just using me to comfort his loneliness life. Honestly I knew that he was being nice to everyone he known, but there are some point made me think he like me by the ways treated me differently from other.