Always be you
I never regret choosing you so please don’t worry about me leaving you. I hope you know and realize your worth cause you’ll always be my first choice.
At times, people mention how time heals, and I used to wonder how easily they could say that without understanding what I was going through. My problems felt small in the grand scheme of the universe, yet they were enormous in my miniature world. Despite this, I pressed on, with an inner longing to experience the beauty and terror of life. It's remarkable how unpredictable our futures can be. The me from last year would never have imagined the life I am having today. I've found peace within myself and with those around me, but as things improve, new problems arise to occupy my thoughts. I remind myself not to let these concerns disrupt my newfound peace, knowing that when I look back on my current self a year from now, these little details will likely be forgotten. So, yes, time does indeed have a healing effect even if it doesn’t look like it would help.
I never regret choosing you so please don’t worry about me leaving you. I hope you know and realize your worth cause you’ll always be my first choice.
I’m thinking of dying again. 22-04-22 -khoy mouygech
I almost contacted you again, but everytime I almost did, I remembered how we're nth to each other. Everytime I almost did, I scrolled through our chats and I saw how pathetic I was. Almost begging for your love. Everytime I almost did, I remembered how you would let me go back home alone. How you had time for everyone else but never for me. How you forgot everything you said. How you told me you would do this and that for me but you never did. Every little things you said you would do. It's the details that matters and show me how much you love me. Turned out I couldn't feel the love at all. I remembered how hopeless and broken I felt to see you never want to give me the title, to never want to commit into the relationship, to never think of us. It was the last straw that broke me. Broke us. They said loving someone too much will make them stop appreciating you, I guess that's true. I gave up my pride for you for so many times. Let's keep this last one for myself. Take care.
I can’t deny anymore that I still love him although we broke up for 8 years already, but he’s still the one. Anyway I don’t have gut to tell him how my feel is since we’re now became friends and I don’t want this friendship broken again! But I want him back is there anything that I should give him the hint that I still into him with all these years?
I’m a type of person that value friendship more than relationship , I rather not date anyone just so I have more time to hang out with my close friend. We share stuff no one ever know about us , enjoy each other’s company without saying a word to each other , inside jokes , hangout non stop…But then things change , third party comes in , she is still my friend but someone else has become her closest friend. They share conversations day and night , calling non stop , playing with each other all the time . I feel like I’m left out but who am i to be jealous of that , you guys seem to be enjoying each other company so much , why would i ruin that because of my feeling , I’m just upset that I can’t provide you that feeling , but it is what it is . I don’t know if you know that I’m upset with that but since I’m not good at opening up to you anymore, I hope the best for you guys even if we become stranger one day…
"Why did we break up?" It has been exactly 49 days since the day you told me that you feel off and you cannot continue this. I've been questioning myself and there were a lot of question marks in my head. Back then to day one, you told me I was your everything and your life would be hell without me. I told you that my previous relationship gave me a lot of traumas and I was scared to start a new relationship because once I love you, I commit and put 100% feeling and effort into it. You promise and you were being vulnerable to me. I decided to trust you and love you wholeheartedly. Our relationship was so pure, lovely, cute, happy until the very last day. The day that another part of me collapse. The day that every promise is broken. The day that you gave up on me. How could we suddenly break up? You gave me the love that make me feel everything then suddenly it dropped to 0. It is sting no matter how much many times I am trying to apply the medicine. It's difficult to picture it without that person because we were having a dream together and I already pictured you everywhere with me. I can't help but think about you in the middle of the night. I can't help but fantasize about a time when everything was fine. Again, I am living in a trauma that haunt me every single day. A trauma that told me that I would never be enough for someone even I keep hearing you deserve better but deep inside me told me that "IF I AM ENOUGH, HE WOULD NOT GIVE UP ON ME." Thank you for giving me love that I always want to feel but never want to leave. It gave me pain, trauma, and fear but I am glad that we come across each other in this lifetime. We broke up but "Once upon the time, my heart was yours." I love you, a_y
I don’t know how to describe my feeling right now as it’s very complicated and mixed up so bad. We both are not lover yet our action/chat conversation made me feel like we ain’t just friend sometimes. It’s been so long that we don’t chat and It’s myself that start this cool war with you bcuz sometimes I feel that you are lost interest with me and don’t want to waste your time with me anymore. I don’t know if I should still follow you or leave you because you never want to text me back as before. I don’t ask for serious relationship bcuz I know that we both cannot make it happen for some reasons. But at least we don’t end up like this. It’s hurt me so bad when I don’t receive your texts anymore.
Hey, I don’t know whether you’ll see this but I hope you won’t. Anyway, I just found out that u muted me on social media when I did literally nothing to you. Why ? I just completely on my own space but when I found out about it, my heart just break into pieces. I don’t know who am I to you, whether I’m annoying to u or else. I’m completely not okay as you muted me and treat me this way. I cherished our friendship so much we’ve been friends for many years, we spent our wonderful teenager life together. I remember I had you, and u know u had me too. It’s just a friendship they said, but to me it’s a really pure and beautiful one I had with you but since you did this to me I might be somehow annoy u therefore, I will no longer post or share anything on social media… so if u see this it’s up to u whether u want to unfollow or block me whatever makes you happy but remember one thing, as I figured it out I can’t stop myself from crying as I don’t know that is how u treat me as friend for years, as someone who used to comfort, help, and yeah u helped me a lot too. We shared tons of memories and it left me heartbroken and speechless of how 2years of miscommunication lead us to this. You know I have trust issues when it comes to love but thanks to you now I have trust issue in friendship too. Good luck!!!