My mental health is breaking down so is my mind. The cheerful me have gone and I wish I could have someone who stay by my side and tell me “Everything will be fine.” :)
I did the best I could but the result doesn’t satisfy me one bit. I want to give up but it means that all my effort have gone to waste, I also have no motivation to continue on. Everyone will just tell me to push through it but people have different tolerance. I don’t want to lose this but there’s also nothing ahead of me to look forward to
To my most favorite person, I don’t know where you are at right now. I promptly admit that I miss you so much especially your dry sense of humor, you being Dokey-talkative to me. Our big and small fights, LOL. I wish you were here with me. To tell me everything is fine, everything will be better. I badly need your love and comfort because I’ve been so tired of what I’ve been going through lately. I know I have no rights to tell you to stay, but seeing you disappear this time hurt me deeply. I thought I would be okay this time since we already said our goodbye and also had a proper closure even though we ended up in bad term again. In this situation, you probably hate me that much, think of me as a ‘never wrong and always right person’.it’s fine for me. I know I’m at worst. I want to do the same thing as well. Sadly, I can’t make myself hating someone who I’m so in love with. That’s not me! Despite your lies, you being closed-book to me, I’m still enchanted to meet you. I don’t feel any regret falling for you, I really mean it. You are the main character in my story. Your name has in every chapter of my book since May 2020 til now. Imma always feel appreciated and grateful because I found someone who showed me the real definition of ‘Action speaks louder than Word’. You are Jjang! You know what? I can pretend to be happy and laugh at others joke. I can go on other dates and meet new people as you wished me to, but at the end of the day, they aren’t you. We will always be unfinished business and it will always be you although I used to tell you not to cross the path again. Yet, deep inside of me keep hoping that at least we have one beautiful story which I never give up praying for. One small moment together as you knew that I expect less when it comes to you, right? ...
I know you're rushing to get to that next phase in your life. You're sick and tired of being where you're at and feel like you should be somewhere else doing greater things. You're stressing yourself to have more. Your giving yourself anxiety tricking yourself that you're behind. Listen to me, you're exactly where you should be at. You're where you're at because there's a few more lessons you have to learn before you go into that next phase. But I'll tell you this, as long as you're moving, you're not stuck. As long as you keep working you're not stagnant. Be okay with taking steps and not running. You'll have experiences where you're running. This stage isn't that. Life is making you walk because you have a lot to learn in this moment in time and you need more time to gather all this information. Sometimes life doesn't give us what we're asking for because we're not ready to have them. We're not ready for the responsibilities. We're not ready for the stress. We're not ready or responsible enough to manage that many things. That's why life gives us a little at a time so we can learn how to mange blessings. Life is giving us time to develop before it unloads everything we deserve. It takes experience and wisdom to have a lot. Be grateful for the little you have so you'll be grateful for everything you'll be receiving in the future.
I really miss you and It doesn’t matter how long I have to wait for you 3 months,5 months 1 year, 3 years it doesn’t matter. I want the dream that both of us dreamt of come true. I know everything seems cloudy for the both of us… But remember everything is going to be fine…. Until we meet again…
I hate how I'm too soft and emotionally weak. I cry over things that normal people would just brush off and move on. Little things can make me feel down and once I'm down, I don't really know how to pick myself up. When I see something that hurts my feelings, I would think about it for several months. I've been spending way too long trying to move on from someone I've only known for a short period of time and doesn't even care about me. If the person happens to know about my feelings, they probably find me stupid and pathetic. It's also difficult for me to share these things with my friends because they would find me overly emotional because even I myself think so. But I just can't help it. Is there even a way to improve myself to be mentally strong like others? Cos I really admire those who can just brush things off and let go of things easily. I can't keep on being this way when I've entered adulthood for quite a few years already.
knong jit nirk dol srey sart at mike burger 2 weeks ago? maybe longer srey sart pink shirt a little green hair pls notice interact with this i will check every 2 hour :DD
I've first known him when we were studying French in the same class, we're also studying at the same university and we haven't contacted or talked to each other. One day while the teacher called him and he didn't reply , that's the reason that I chatted to him by Telegram to inform him that " Madame call u xd , why didn't u reply ? ". After that , we were in touch with each other ask and chatted to each other, I also ask for his FB account. Moreover, I also chatted with him by Messenger and talked to each other for several topics but not so frequency or everytime. I've known that he's a quiet person because of his character and his FB account and I really knew that kind of this person! We always share something to each other and ask about each other's daily life. In addition, we absolutely would like to share some informations of scholarships, subjects or exercises. I think I was so surprised because we want to take the same major and have the same plan ! But I haven't known myself that when I chatted with him , I am so warmly heart and feel so good even if he chatted to me not the long text ! At first I didn't know about this feeling because I've just known him as classmate and schoolmate and we haven't met each other before by this pandemic situation ( school was closed since the first day of started day of school ). Finally, I've just realized that I have a mood on him ( crush on him ) but I haven't shown this to him because I think I could lose this friendship ):
I know you read my messages from your notification. I know that when you claim you were busy, you were actually on your phone scrolling and chatting with your friends in a cafe. When you said you were busy, I know you were playing games or watching a movie. You messaging me is a choice and I messaging you is a duty. You take me for a granted...a friend whom you could rely on in terms of school work. I am that friend whom you could use whenever you feel like you need a female company. I am the friend who is there for you to practice your flirting skills. I am the friend who, after you finish scrolling up and down your newsfeed 5 times, will open the message and decide whether or not u should message back. I am the friend who recieves the message "huh” after 10 hours of trying to ask for help saying "im in pain, there is no one here.” So do not text me five days later that you forgot to check your phone even though I saw you share memes 3 days ago. Do not text an apology and ask about how i felt because i went through hell and you choose to ignore it. Do not look at me with those eyes as if I am the only girl in the world and that no one else matters because clearly I can be on my deathbed right now and you will still decide to check up on me "tomorrow”. Do not share posts about how heartbroken you are when you see me flirt with someone who actually cares about me and do not update me on your activities like we are something when we arent. We're just friends so stop acting like we're lovers and you're the boyfriend giving excuses for ignoring his girlfriend. We're just friends and you are already breaking me apart, taking me for granted, and forcing me up a rollercoaster ride of confusion and pain....imagine how it will be if you are more than a friend.