Is it hard to find someone?

2025-08-14

What was all that for?

(I have wrote my first sentence and deleted it so many times, I lost count. So here goes nothing.) ....When we first met, I had no idea how much you could mean to me. You stayed when I needed you most, you told me I'm loved, and you held my hands through one of the hardest times in my life. But my heart shattered when I say, it was a false start to my cruel fairytale. You have made me surrendered, I gave you my all. I had never felt so deeply for anyone, and you knew how to make me fell for you. Maybe my love spoiled you, because darling you have changed. From the woman who could no wrong, to your worst enemy. It could be the day I breathed the wrong way, asked you the wrong question, said what you did upset me, asking too many questions. Those things made you reset me. Am I to walk on eggshells around you if we want to be together? Am I just to be the person you pick up the phone whenever you feel like calling? Am I to be the one you apologize and make amends? Am I the one to always be dealt a lower hand? Is it wrong to want to feel loved my the person you feel so deeply for? Is it wrong to want your partner to care about you? Is it wrong to not want to be ignored for hours? I never regretted the love I gave you. But my biggest regret was I had convinced myself that you cared for months. I let it continued when I knew there was no way I can live with this forever. I used to think that having you smiling at me a few times was better than none. Having you for an hour to myself was better than not talking to you at all. How it broke my heart to admit the truth today, you had no idea how much you hurt me. I wonder if you cared, you probably don't. I don't think you ever did in the recent months. This is my peace offering to you, I'm leaving. DONE. I'm done making excuses for you, I'm done being treated like the person you hated. I'm most certainly done with being your last priority. I don't know what love should be, but I'm sure as hell our relationship isn't what love supposed to be. I'm writing this to all my girls out there, when things changed. You know. No matter how many times you have lied to yourself for him, you can't lie forever. If he truly wants to be with you, you will know. And when you do, leave.

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2025-08-14

Move out.

You know or Can u feel me? Moving out from your Family and living with other relative isn't easy. Even ur a 5/10 they see u as 0/10. Everything u do will be notice and rmb by them. Sometimes, they even look down or mock me face to face.💔

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2025-08-14

Unrequited love or One-sided love

Definition of one sided love is a feeling of loving someone who doesn't feel the same for you. Yess, just a short title you can feel how much it hurts. "Destiny" this word we use it as an excuse to make it look like a bridge that guide me to you. Do you remembered how we first met? How great that we study at the same faculty and together as a classmates and more greater is that we always work together as a partner of the assignments. So since than we started to talk about lectures, study together, and help each other. How fun when we flirted with each other and it was a great feelings when our classmates started to pair us. However, at the end, I am the only one fallen into that trap. Why? Have you ever had a good feeling towards me? How about those flirting messages we had? You knew how I felt to you. You pushed me away. You ignored me. Finally you stopped chatting with me. And currently, I am just someone you used to talk to. They said stop chasing people who doesn't love you. If they love you, they will, you don't have to try so hard to get them. I am FINE ❤ Just please remember that this person always cares about you from here where you pushed me behind.

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2025-08-14

Who am I to you?

Been a long time since we spoke.y But one day, you texted me then you acted like you don't wanna talk to me. I just don't get it, why and what do you want? Have you ever wanted to talk to me? I trynna tell myself not to be upset but I still did. At the end of the day, you still did like you used to.

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2025-08-14

2 years without You

Heyy u nv jam ban ot tha ngai ng jea ngai ey ke? (28.11)vea jea ngai dea yrg date tbong nahh.nh kor s'ter tea plex dea tea fb nh lot notification mor tver oy nh jam rg krob yang tang ors tver nh nirk u kan tea klang lerng.2 chnam nis nh ot arch mean nek tmey ban doysa tea nh berk jit tor tul nek tmey min ban sos arch niyey ban tha nh nv sl yrg nh nv tea som oy tngai na muy puk yrg mor doch derm vinh nas tang dea nh dg tha u min dea jong doch derm vinh muy nh te nh pit jea nirk u nas nh somtus dea kal nus nh kit khos muy pel oy u jenh tv nh somtus pit men nahhnh min dg rok ey mor chomnous jit nirk bos nh ban te dg trem tha nh nirk hx kor sl u klang nas dea som oy u back chap chap nahh:(🙂

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2025-08-14

It’s alright

I’ve seen a lot of post about suicidal thought and people trying to commit the act. I just want to tell those of you who are struggling out there that “it’s alright”. It’s alright, I’ve been through this before as well. Although I’ve never been that suicidal, the thought of “if my life ends, then many problems and burdens will be solved” did cross my mind. It takes a lot of willpower and strength to get through this phase as I would shut myself inside my room all day and night and on social media during my high school years. There were times I was upset with my parents, of them blaming me, and scolding me for various mundane things that happen in our everyday life. However, I want to tell you that it’s alright to run to your parents and hug them with all you have, they would not mind it even if you guys are currently in an argument. It’s alright to tell your friends and others “I cannot do this anymore. I’m tired and wanna be left alone”. It’s alright to feel overwhelmed and go through this phase, I believe we have gone through this teenage and young adult phase at least once in our lives. I am not telling you that suicide is wrong and you shouldn’t do it, I am trying to say that it should be your very last option. Wallow in your tears, your sadness, your stress, your burdens, your self-pity all you want. Most people blame themselves for not being good enough rather than actually addressing their fears and inhibitions. Perhaps it is easier to ignore all that is happening around you. I am not entertaining nor romanticizing suicidal thought, but if you still cannot find a better option or a better way to live your life, then it is alright to end it.

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2025-08-14

I wish it were possible

The late night messages I used to receive from you. The restaurants we went to together. The time we spent chatting with one another. All of these are just memories now. You always stared at me, and when I asked why were you staring at me, it caught you off and you just finished with a smile and said nothing. My heart beat faster than usual whenever you smiled because it somehow made me feel nervous not knowing what you were thinking about me when we sat in front of each other. I always wondered if you felt the same way I felt about you. When you confessed, I was on cloud nine. You were a gentleman, and you constantly showed me what all boyfriends should be doing to their girlfriends. Everything turned into a dream. You already have your lover. All I could think of was how good it could be if our relationship were possible, and how would she felt if she knew how nice you had been doing to me. You made me fall madly in love with you, but at the same time hate you. I hate that you were lying and not telling me the truth. I hate that you were being so good to me. I hate that I think about you all the time even knowing that you already have your significant other. I hate that I still miss you.

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2025-08-14

Until then...

Maybe one day, we'll meet again and explain to each other what really happened. Maybe one day we'll finally understand. Until then, I hope you live your best life and I hope you really do all the things you always wanted to do.

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