It is what it is

2025-08-14

Always You!

To you my priority, since the day you left, I’m certain that I’m not the same person as I used to be. I’m sure that my feeling right now isn’t okay and it hurts me the most. I wanted to let you know that, you’re the only one who made me know what love is, you’re the only one who made me feel warm and secure while I was with you, you’re the only one that my love for you is still the same since our first day until now, you’re the only one whom I have any plans for the future. All of the sacrifices, efforts, and times that I put in, I didn’t expect anything in return, other than your love and dedication. I did everything just to make you feel that you’re the only one that got all of those things from me, not everyone else. I did everything just to make you feel happy, warm, and comfortable. I’ve never stopped daydreaming about how I’m going to build my life, buy my first house, first car with you, and marry you one day. You know what? I see you every two weeks, and when I return home I feel as if I've lost something that no one or nothing can replace. I had the feeling that I was leaving something behind that would never come back. I miss you, I'm upset, I didn’t want to return home, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re the only one, when I’m having fun and all I could think of is what if you were right here with me? I’d go on trips and while living in the moment, I allowed my imaginations to get ahead of me and I was able to picture you beside me and I got that feeling of “how nice would it be for you to be here with me”. To me, you’re perfect. To me, you’re beautiful as always in my eyes. I’m grateful you came into my life, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. My love for you hasn't changed, and no one can take your place in my heart, my mind, and my brain. And I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you. Sorry that I can’t keep you by my side. I’m still hoping everyday that you will come back to me again. You’re special to me. I’m so proud to have you in my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Your photo is still in my wallet, and your picture is still on my lock screen wallpaper. I wrote these letters with a song that I used to sing for you, When you’re home - Tyler Shaw. It’s 3AM now and I’m still thinking about you. I hope you will come back to me! #NL

Just a side person like a side dish

So, get this, I totally fell for this guy. And to try and get closer to him, we became BFFs. And man, did I fall harder and harder for him. We did everything together — hit up bars, and he even taught me how to balance my meals with other stuff like changing my car oil, fixing my sink, and changing light bulbs. And I also introduced him to some sweet books, movies, and music. Then, I had to watch him go and marry the girl of his dreams. And guess what? It wasn't me.

Sorry

បើអាចត្រលប់ពេលមកក្រោយម្ដងទៀត ខ្ញុំនឹងមិនបោះបង់អ្នកទេ គ្រប់យ៉ាងអ្នកធ្វើដាក់ខ្ញុំ ល្អណាស់ ដែលមិនធ្លាប់មាននរណា ម្នាក់ធ្វើបែបនឹងពីមុនមក ខ្ញុំសប្បាយគ្រប់ពេលនៅជាមួយអ្នក ត្រេកអរនៅពេលឃើញសារ និង notification អ្នកលោតមកលើអេក្រង់ទូរស័ព្ទខ្ញុំ ខ្ញុំសប្បាយចិត្តនៅពេលឃើញអ្នកបារម្ភ និងលើកទឹកចិត្តខ្ញុំពេលពិបាកចិត្តម្ដងៗ ចំណែកខ្ញុំវិញ មិនបានធ្វើអ្វីអោយអ្នកសូម្បីបន្តិច អាចថា ខ្ញុំងាយទុកចិត្តមនុស្សក៏បាន តែ អ្នកពិតជាល្អណាស់ ហើយខ្ញុំបែរជាល្ងង់បោះបង់អ្នក ដើម្បីមនុស្សម្នាក់ ដឹងថា ឥឡូវមិនអាចដូចមុន តែខ្ញុំក៏នៅតែចង់ប៉ះប៉ូវនូវទង្វើគ្រប់យ៉ាងដែលអ្នកធ្វើដាក់ខ្ញុំ 🙂♥️

All the clouds in me are raining

I’ve been questioning my life lately and I try freaking hard to become the best version of myself everyday. Living away from home without having my parents by my side is something I’ve never done before and I admit that my life has changed so much since the day I left home. I’m constantly teary knowing how much they worry about me. They are the ONLY reason why I keep going and still living this freaking life. If it weren’t for them, my existence wouldn’t have existed until now. I admit that I appreciate where I am now. I truly am! But at some points, I feel like the life I’m living is currently draining me day by day. I cannot see the purpose of life and it stressed me out whenever I think of the word ‘future’. It’s so dark and I cannot see anything. My anxiety keeps telling me the worst scenarios because I know that I cannot be the one everyone expects me to be. I might look normal but deep down inside I’m just a sad soul. No one knows how hard it is for me to survive each day. Having anxiety and insecurities about everything. Being a professional overthinker who worry even at a little thing and always wake up tired from a vivid dream… I don’t want to live like this but it’s not like I have a choice. The more I grow up, the more I start questioning my life and wondering why I live like this. I’m turning 19 next month and my only wish is that I can survive til I’m 20… -J

How to stop getting attached too easily?

How to stop getting attached too easily? Because it feels foolish to know I'm the only one who still recalls the little moments when the other person has already forgotten about me and is enjoying someone else's company better, I'm the only who felt sad when we said goodbye that day, the only one who actually listened and remembers small details. I looked ridiculous for getting upset with the person's words and expecting them to understand how I felt, you know, that pathetic feeling of getting mad តែឯងៗ lol. What's even more foolish is that they have always set boundaries and made it clear that there's nothing between us. Yet, I still managed to catch all these weird feelings.

The small details of you.

Your good morning text, your sweet talk, your arms, your chest, your lips, your hair, your everything is my favorite. I love it when you call me babe. I love it when you call me just to rant about how your mom treats you. I love it when you tell me how your day was. I love it when you text me saying I love you. I love it when you hug me. I love it when you kiss me. I love everything that you do. I love how you switch your drinks or food with me because I didn't like what I ordered. The ice cream place we went to. The drinks we ordered. The future we talked about. The random things we sent to each other. The dark humor you used to tell me. The dad jokes you told me. The heavy metal music you listen to before you sleep. Every little thing of yours is my favorite. I miss everything about you, but you hurted me, so bad. It felt so good somehow.

Recommended Posts