Thank you for your caring!! #s

Since I broke up with my ex bf in March 2021, I never had any bf until now. Not because I didn’t fall in love with anyone else. It’s because I used to asked s1 abt feeling during I broke up. And the answer is “ death both side”xD. And yeah at the time he’s the only person that I chatted with, told him how’s my feelings, sometime cried while sending my voice to him. Then we haven’t chatted for awhile. Currently, And he just text me and get on with each again.

Feeling bottled up?

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perfect pretty girl

i wish we knew each other through the internet, i wish you see me as how i want other ppl to see me, i wish we didn’t take the 2 step to talk to each other. i portray myself as a perfect pretty girl on the internet bc who doesn’t want to be perfect and pretty but in reality.. it’s different and you see that in me, you see the broken bits of pieces of me and all the thing under that perfect mask… and you still except it. i still wish we met in a different way so you don’t have to see me in this state, bc it hurts me knowing i let a person in my reality to suffers with me and that person i truly cared and love for. i wish i have more time to fix me before going to you.

To the ex i love the most,seng.

I realized that i loved u too much and forgot to kove myself. And now i love myself more than before. Im trying to hard to change myself to be better so I won’t get hurt in the future like u did to me. Anyway i never hate u. Im still loving u. It’s to be honest. I can’t unlove u. And I appreciated everything that u done for me before. U as the second man after my dad to take care me everything abt food, drink, sleep and protect my everytime. Im so thankful cuz i never got a man like u before.

It’s not your fault.

Your story #KJ0010 changed my mind towards the term “ depressed ”. I felt like the you’re grieving and may even blame yourself for what happened. But I want you to know that it’s not your fault. You’re only human. You loved her the best way you knew how. You’re part of the legacy her left behind. The pain that you’re experiencing in her absence speaks volumes of how deeply you cherished her (and still do). And every moment you choose to live fully and love deeply, you bring a beautiful part of her back to life. Good luck on your path❤️ It's strange though, when I used to think of a "depressed" individual I stereotyped everyone into one mass of sad but i changed my mind after I knew the term “smiling depression” in other words is “high-functioning depression”. What I leaned from it is that the one who is always outgoing, most bubbly, smiling face, telling jokes and happy is the one who most likely to struggling with it. Outwardly, they do not seem to have a reason to be sad, they greet people with a smile, and may even be capable of carrying out pleasant conversations. However, on the inside, they feel down and hopeless, internally struggle day to day and sometimes, may even contemplate suic!d€. I highly recommend you listen to this podcast. https://youtu.be/N3-L7G5mImQ

SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW - L

Remember there always pieces of you inside me , always . You the sweetest purest person i ever met you . I'm glad i having you as mine . I just need some space that i can fix everything for us and eps for you . Ask myself a question how can i can take care of you? how to make you feel safe in here ? I still want you . lovely around here without you . I still see your charming smile around me thanks babe take care good care of yourself love you

Influence

Do you think, being with someone who is depressed, will turn you into someone like them too? You’re being tortured emotionally by them to the point you just want to suicide with them, but still, you have to be that someone comforting them and tolerating with everything. You changed from someone who is so optimistic to pessimistic, and damn the world is never pink again.

#HLVT Ur happiness also mine <3

Thanks for always taking a good care of me Thanks for always stay by my side when time get hard Thanks for understanding me Thanks for loving me Thanks for everything U’re the best . Yet u leaving me now and I still didn’t know how to move on yet . IF leaving me made you feel good , DO IT baby . I pray for ur happiness everyday and night . I’m glad by Seeing you happy even with or without me 🙂

reassurance from u…maybe?

Hey, I don’t care about the distance and sht. I can wait, I’m willing to wait, be faithful and commit to this relationship. Checking up on u everyday, support u through hard time, leave u space when u need, be the most understanding gf. I don’t even mind being a convo starter all the fcking time, fast replier even tho u left me on delivered for half a day or even ghost me out of nowhere for quite a few days, b’cuz I understand that u’re busy. I don’t even mind that u’re not interested about what’s happening at my side or how’s my day going, having u reply to my text is all I ask for. But if this keeps going for a few more months and I see no more effort from u, I might just assumed that u grew out of this relationship but is afraid to ask for a break… idk what should I feel about this relationship…

How we end it

You were so easy to read because how you treat me is how you feel about me. From the very beginning to the very end, I never ask to reassure anything because you were always the one to show the efforts of keeping me. But now that I don’t receive that energy and efforts anymore, I kinda know that it’s the right time we both end it.