Beers and cigarettes

Growing up I never want to drink and smoke. Everybody know that it’s bad for your health plus nobody likes u if they know you did it. I’m a female , friendly and well educated. Nobody suspect me for smoke because I’m well behaved but deep down I’ve been addicted to smoke and drinks for 2 year already :( it help me release stress. I remember the first time I tried to smoke after cutting myself and it help me it make me realize that instead of killing myself I should smoke. Yes it’s a bad decision but I have no choice. School and family matter I can’t stand it plus my mental health. I hope nobody judge me for smoke and drink beers when they know it. I’m afraid everyone gonna find out about it and hate me I’m scared. Sorry for my bad English

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

Irreplaceable you.

You were the best, you were the one who i trully “Love”. The word ‘Love’ is a strong word for both of us to use. We cross path as if fate brought us together for a reason. We clicked so well, it feels like 2 broken pieces were placed to complete each other missing parts. We both have the same taste in Movies, Music, things that revolve around us, We like to spend quality time together. It gets to the point where the word ‘Love’ grows on me and It gets to the point where i can’t go on a day without talking to you. You are just as cold as the winter, independent as you are and i love you. It’s hard for you to show your feelings toward others, you said it’s lame to ask for affections. but we eventually part ways. Months have passed, I started to live without you, I couldn’t move on from you if gets to the point where i have to date someone to move on from you, for godsake i couldn’t you were there everywhere i go, on my mind like a lyric that stucked in my head and i kept repeating it over and over. Everywhere i go i see familiar faces, where they looked like you, same glasses, same length of hair, the same hair style, the same way u walk, everything just reminding me of you. I was a fool to let you go, everything leads to regret, i should have never left you in the first place, i should have changed for you. You loved me, you moved on. I’m happy for you. We both crossed path and i’m glad. Our time that we’ve spent it will shine like gold in my memories. Irreplaceable you, no one can take your place.

2025-08-14

Him, her and I

Just as close as a family she said... So us having something secretive behind the group is considered a betrayal. Him being uncomfortable talking about it and is still unsure about me, her pushing me to tell everyone as soon as possible, so we can discuss about it with the group because what me and him are doing is considered to be more than sinful. Following her, will lose me him. Following him, will lose me her. Leave it as it is and we will all lose each other. And me being in the middle of it, makes it easier for me to blame it all on myself when I can't even fully understand what it's turning into. I love them so much, I love everyone so much. But can I just have a bit more time, "Her"? And can you give us a chance to try it in a different way , "him"? I know I'm so "immature" to you guys but trust me a little, will you? Because I'm so close to end me for the sake of everyone.

2025-08-14

If I want you to "reply my chat" as your first priority, is that hard for you?

When it comes to reply your chat, it always stay as my first priority. Whenever I see my phone, what I think is that I always want to reply your chat. But when it comes to you, everything is opposite. When you hold your phone, the first thing that you think is not about replying my chat. Is that hard just to type a word and send it to me? Is that hard just to put me in the first priority?

2025-08-14

Unpopular opinions

I believe that living together before marriage is necessary. Living with a non-family member is really difficult. yet, living with family members sucks, too. The next level in every relationship is marriage, where people hope to stay together for the rest of their life. I highly recommend living together before getting married. Some of y’all gonna judge me for this but my boyfriend and I are living together for almost a year now but we have been dating for almost 6 years. I have told myself that I would never get married unless we had been living together for 3 years at least. Loving someone and living with someone are two different things. You are two mature adults with habits and lifestyles of your own, its easy to say you know each other very well just dating. As we all know that in Asian households that couples or even fiancé are not living together. I don't know maybe I'm just too modern, I find this ridiculous. Why would you marry someone who you've never lived with? Sure you might think you know their habits but do you really? Now I'm sure someone will argue that many couples moved from their parent's home straight to their new home as a married person. And that these couples usually ended up staying together. But we also have to acknowledge that divorce was not as accepted as it is today. I know that we have “ culture “ but do you really want a surprise? That surprise will result in either "I like it" or "I hate it". You are betting on "I like it", but it's 50/50, so it could also be, "I hate it", which could make you miserable for the rest of your life or this marriage level may not be so permanent. And you know what would happens when you’re divorced? You’re being blamed and pressured from the culture especially when you’re a female. Most of our parents disapproved it because of “ s€x “ but if some of us gotten to know more about S€x Education, it would be just fine. some of us are sensitive about that topic, I know.

2025-08-14

my dearest 김

you deserve everything you know????? ចង់ប្រាប់ថាបងស្រលាញ់អូនខ្លាំងបំផុត I wanna pat your hair, kiss your forehead and keep you in my arms again. please stay healthy and happy until the day we meet again. from your one and only R.

2025-08-14

What was all that for?

(I have wrote my first sentence and deleted it so many times, I lost count. So here goes nothing.) ....When we first met, I had no idea how much you could mean to me. You stayed when I needed you most, you told me I'm loved, and you held my hands through one of the hardest times in my life. But my heart shattered when I say, it was a false start to my cruel fairytale. You have made me surrendered, I gave you my all. I had never felt so deeply for anyone, and you knew how to make me fell for you. Maybe my love spoiled you, because darling you have changed. From the woman who could no wrong, to your worst enemy. It could be the day I breathed the wrong way, asked you the wrong question, said what you did upset me, asking too many questions. Those things made you reset me. Am I to walk on eggshells around you if we want to be together? Am I just to be the person you pick up the phone whenever you feel like calling? Am I to be the one you apologize and make amends? Am I the one to always be dealt a lower hand? Is it wrong to want to feel loved my the person you feel so deeply for? Is it wrong to want your partner to care about you? Is it wrong to not want to be ignored for hours? I never regretted the love I gave you. But my biggest regret was I had convinced myself that you cared for months. I let it continued when I knew there was no way I can live with this forever. I used to think that having you smiling at me a few times was better than none. Having you for an hour to myself was better than not talking to you at all. How it broke my heart to admit the truth today, you had no idea how much you hurt me. I wonder if you cared, you probably don't. I don't think you ever did in the recent months. This is my peace offering to you, I'm leaving. DONE. I'm done making excuses for you, I'm done being treated like the person you hated. I'm most certainly done with being your last priority. I don't know what love should be, but I'm sure as hell our relationship isn't what love supposed to be. I'm writing this to all my girls out there, when things changed. You know. No matter how many times you have lied to yourself for him, you can't lie forever. If he truly wants to be with you, you will know. And when you do, leave.

2025-08-14

Sleep forever

I know it not really good to hearing those words. For me , yeah I am really tired of benign a live. I wish that I will sleep forever and never wake up. Only sleep that can help me stay aways from my nightmares, stress , tóxic , depress , sad , cry and more that I usually felt every night. At age 22 , the more I grow the more I scare . I really wish that I could sleep forever and never wake up. I am really tired of everything, study , family, love , friendship, future and everything around me . I really tired . I know it too hard but why I don’t be strong and don’t give up ? I try tooo . I really try to ne strong and don’t give up . But I still can’t survive at all . People thought that I am unless. I am usefulness . I couldn’t do anything better like other. I am really tired of hiding my broken pieces. And I tired of getting hurt again and again . I really wish that I could sleep forever and never wake up.

2025-08-14

Right person But not the right time

To the person i have met since 2016 Idk how to describe my feeling right now. You know what you always stuck in my head and heart even when you're gone. What i want to say and ask: - It’s my fault that i rejected you ( At that time , i think be friend is more forever than relationship even i have feelings for you) - I regretted about my decision - I always here for you no matter what and keep waiting you @ Am I your stranger now? Can you guys help me by sharing this post? I really want him to see it. _seeing you happy is already my happiness_