介绍自己

我有一头牛

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2025-08-14

Healing

Although my ex-boyfriend cheated on me , I’ve learned to move on without having anyone new. Deep down inside, this process is literally miserable since he’s the only one on my mind. After 2 months of breakup, I can say i don’t utterly heal from this heartbreak , but my inner wound has been gradually healing day by day to the point where I finally say I’m better off without him . To all the heart-broken girls out there, don’t pressure yourself. Moving on is not easy as some people say , but one day, pain that you have tried to handle will be finally withdrawn. Embrace yourself as much as possible. Self-love is a must.

2025-08-14

A happy ending

Everywhere, everyone out there is busy finding their “the one”. It’s funny how instead of finding ‘’the one”, why don’t people actually try to find themselves instead? Well, what can I say cause love is blind right? and I once been blinded by it too. “Two teenagers meet, fell in love and they live happily ever after” is probably would be a tale that you would usually hear or see in movie but these kind of stuffs does not really exist in real life, in my opinion. Our story began when we both were in dark places. Starting off, to me, you were just nothing more than an acquaintance. After some time getting to know you, every time we talked, I started noticing that you were trying to keep the conversation going, that you were trying to get close to me and you would eager to know, to learn more about me and ask about the things I like. I, on the other hand, knew from the beginning and told myself that I wouldn’t let you get in my head because I get attached easily and it’s a way to protect myself. But instead of putting label between us, I keep opening up and letting you in even though I know I was gonna get hurt later on. We grew a lot closer over time and you would help me with literally anything I’ve asked you to, you would ask how my day was, whether I’ve eaten, you would cheer me up when I’m down, you would send me stuffs and said that it remind me of you, you would open up with me and rant to me about whatever things that are on your mind which you were too afraid to speak to the world about, you would told me about your goals and dreams. Not long after that, we were each other’s safe space and talking to you were my happy hours. Little did I knew, I started to like you and I would get this stupid butterflies every time you complimented me. But people change once they meet someone new or they just change as time passed by right? Yes, after some times, I started to get bored of you and I knew you kinda did too. We eventually stopped talking to one another and of course my pride is high and I wouldn’t text you first cause I don’t want to sound desperate. During the time we stopped talking, at first, I overthought everything, did I do sth wrong? did you not want to talk to me cause you need space or you get tired of me? Will we talk again soon? Am I that easy to replace? It drained my energy mentally and I was going insane but after giving it some thoughts, I stopped questioning the situation and just let it be. I later found out the “things” you did and realized that you were just taking me for granted just to pass your time. Naive of me to thought that you were not a red flag cause after all, you became all the things that you told me you wouldn’t be. So, of course, I decided to gave up cause if not, I’ll only end up destroying myself even more. Moving on is a really hard process for me but luckily, I have my amazing best friends by my side and they lift me up from my sorrow during this hard time.To sum up, I wouldn’t say meeting you is a nice accident or a bad one either but it’s more like an ending to a new beginning of finding and learning more about myself and giving the love that I need without having to depend it on anyone and a lesson to protect my heart better next time. I feel like writing this all down allows me to finally close the chapter and buried this petty love story here as I decided I don’t want to be stuck on the past anymore and to move on with my life so guess this is where our memories parted. It might be a long process to be better but im getting better bit by bit, day by day. Cheer to a happy ending of finally finding my own self<3

2025-08-14

A clown 🤡

(This is like a note to myself) There’s a quote said don’t expect the happiness from where u lost it and they’re right. No matter how much u still love someone or feel like u want to give someone another chance just because u feel bad about it, just don’t do it. It’s not worth it. If there’s moment when u feel like u should go back, just remember how much u have strived, how much u have tried to moved on from all the trauma, how hard u have tried just to get urself back up again. I have come so far just to get over all the trauma that he gave me, now that I gave him a chance, he flipped on me and now I have to go through the same process all over again. It’s hurting and it’s embarrassing at the same time. He making me feel like a clown, but thanks for the lesson.

2025-08-14

Do broken people deserve love?

I went over to a camping trip sometimes ago and I felt in love with this one girl. We still meet each other sometimes. She was spectacular, the most amazing person I've ever known. She was compassionate, kind and understood me more than anybody ever did. She has shaken the my wall I've built up to never love anyone too much so I can never hurt. I want our relationship to develop further but I'm not sure about myself. I'm just a broken person, depressed, wasted. I don't want to fix this issue by having another person to fix me because that's not the right way to do. Any advices?

2025-08-14

Should I believe my instinct?

After turning 18 years old a day ago, one of my sister’s friends became very touchy towards me. I still remember on my birthday party, after I drank I went to sleep and he came near me and started to hug-sleep but not to hard since my sister was there too. I felt uncomfortable with him after that but decided to ignore it since I have known him for awhile. Yet, on the next day of my birthday party, I went to the bathroom and I saw his phone hanging on his pant. I was very shocked back then but still I am trying to ignore the facts that whether his intention is good or not. Should I ignore it or believe my own instinct ?

2025-08-14

Two people from two different worlds

You are so awesome. Everyone knows and loves you. I stood there looking at you; looking at how far we were from each other. I was just an outsider to your world. But when you reached me first, everything changed. You let me in, even just for a short moment. I finally could see and hear you clearly then. I wish time were frozen. I wanted to keep you longer but I didn’t know how to do that. You showed me the parts of you that I had never seen before. I wonder if you did that to everyone. Yet, it didn’t matter because that’s all I could ask for. Now that our worlds go back to normal, I wonder how you feel about back then. Perhaps it’s normal for you, but sitting there alone together just listening to you talking about your favorite things…my heart is still fluttering now. I wish I were brave enough to tell you about my feeling. Right now, I don’t think I have anymore chances. Eventually, we are just two people walking on two different paths. Yet, the memory you gave me, will always be my favorite fantasy. —tired owl.

2025-08-14

What is this feeling

Can anyone tell me what is this feeling It been a long time since they broke the bond. We try to understand them and wish them all the best. However, seeing them with someone new, doing all the things that we should do together some how hurt. It like trauma, it hit right there in the heart, it got you tremble, feeling lost, all the hope we try to hold on are gone, almost down on the knee. I swear there is no hatred, there is no evil though to break them apart. It just feel like can’t stand seeing it, can’t accept it, bare to see it but Why it is someone else in that place? How could? Did we really do sth wrong? Were we never good enough for them? How could they just switch to do all the things with someone else while our heart still beat for them? Why do they treat us this way while our intention is only love and to be with them?

2025-08-14

Reply to #KJ0382

I used to be that type of person too tho:). I find it easy to cope stress on my own but one day you might just losen out for a really big time. So, it's better to let your friend know even if it's hard for you to open up. Just spit a bit even if it's seem nonsense to your friend. This is weird for me to share my experience with a stranger xD.