I miss you…

It’s been 2 years since your passing, but every time i went back to our convo i can’t seem to let go. I miss you so much, i wish you were here with me.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

Dear Lover/Third Person

We broke up a while ago, and I knew you with someone new. I knew that you had been in contact with them during our relationship. And, this is the act of cheating. Still, I couldn't bring myself to hate you, and I also took all the blame for myself even though you committed such an act to me. I always give you the benefit of the doubt. I know that you are still in love with me, then why you don't break up with them? Because they are treating you good right now? Oh yeah, you knew their past, they are well known as a cheater. I understand that they haven't done anything to you there is no point in breaking up with them. After knowing that fact, I am always worried about you. What if they did something bad to you? With all your problems are you able to handle the stress? We have been with one another for 2 and a half years, and I mean nothing to you? I always put you over myself. Yes, it is true in our relationship there is up and down. That is called a mature relationship it is not always fun. Dear Third Person, You should know what you had done. Karma is real, you have done that too many people. Your pretentious act will soon be exposed. You know a third person who stole someone else partner won't last long and I hope you understand that. Still many knew about you, yet you still acting the same. You ruined many people. Sheesh, What a person you are... You will receive your Karma.
2025-08-14

The small details of you.

Your good morning text, your sweet talk, your arms, your chest, your lips, your hair, your everything is my favorite. I love it when you call me babe. I love it when you call me just to rant about how your mom treats you. I love it when you tell me how your day was. I love it when you text me saying I love you. I love it when you hug me. I love it when you kiss me. I love everything that you do. I love how you switch your drinks or food with me because I didn't like what I ordered. The ice cream place we went to. The drinks we ordered. The future we talked about. The random things we sent to each other. The dark humor you used to tell me. The dad jokes you told me. The heavy metal music you listen to before you sleep. Every little thing of yours is my favorite. I miss everything about you, but you hurted me, so bad. It felt so good somehow.

2025-08-14

To the guy I love most, Sophea.

MY FLAWS. I thought we were supposed to talk about our problems and solve them together. You told me how you don't like me doing shitposting, being shady about you. I stopped. I didn't know it would bother you that much. All those shitposting and shady posts aren't about you, I swear. I know those are not reasons and I was right. It was my attitude. I thought you would talk it out but you didn't, you chose to leave me while I'm still in love with you. I didn't know I have such an attitude to make you lose feelings for me, if so I'm sorry. I was not pressuring you, I never ever or even think about making you love me the way I want. Maybe my actions or how I talk seem like that but I'm not that type of person. I told you I'm an attention seeker. Of course I always try to seek attention from the guy that I love, the guy that I prioritized first, the guy that I would do anything for and it's you but I know what is right and what is wrong. Who knows you got the wrong idea about me. I'm not trying to act like a victim here and I was never one. I'm just trying to tell you about what I wanted to say and how I felt.

2025-08-14

Important sister

I'm not sure what will you and others valued on this name "important sister". Sometimes, I feel abit down but whatever happens, this name won't change. I'm still keep you as my important one, no one understand it but I'm really hope you can feel me trust my speech. I used to hope that one day we separate then we go our own path, but your voice always feel heard by my soul. Whatever happens, we changed but I won't forget what you advised me. Distancing doesn't mean the soul break. Love you, all the best to my important sisters ❤

2025-08-14

Why?

Growing up, not bragging, Ppl tell me I look decent (not ugly, not so pretty either). Those who look decent tends to have people interested in them, right? Not me though. I don’t know why and please tell me if you do. Why isn’t anyone ever interested in me? Do I look so bad? Is my personality that hard? I’ve seen others having people crushing on them and having boyfriend and all those stuff. And I look at myself and my chat box is so freaking quiet, no fling, no flirt, nothing. Trust me, I’m not that desperate, it’s just pure curiosity. Why the hell isn’t anyone interested in me? Why? I see in drama ppl be like having crush and all those fling stuff and my life is so freaking boring 😂😂😂😂. My standard isn’t that high either, just average, like others. I’m also not looking for relationship, just some flirting, just knowing the fact that someone is actually liking me, having a crush on me would be enough. What could be the problem? My problem? 🥲🥲
2025-08-14

If you’re happy, I’m happy.

One of my male colleagues and I are so close, but the closest thing I mentioned was that I'm the one who's trying to get close to him. I think I like him a lot, but I'm not daring to tell him. I don't want to ruin the relationship between us. It was good enough for me to have him during my stressful times, happy times, busy times, and anytime I needed him. I'm so grateful. Even if in the future you're not mine, I believe you will be a good husband to your future wife like how you're treating me these days. I'm a bit jealous of whoever deserves you, but if you're happy, I'm happy too. Day by day, my day becomes more and more colorful and shines since I have you by my side. You're so good for my mental health. It was so boring when you were complaining about this and that, but it is so empty without those complaints. I want you, the person who is giving me these good feelings, to feel them as well; to feel loved by someone; to feel treated well; and to be my lover, so I don't have to worry about your future wife. Thank you for being there for me during my hard times. I really appreciated every moment I had with you.
2025-08-14

Always you!

To you my priority, since the day you left, I’m certain that I’m not the same person as I used to be. I’m sure that my feeling right now isn’t okay and it hurts me the most. I wanted to let you know that, you’re the only one who made me know what love is, you’re the only one who made me feel warm and secure while I was with you, you’re the only one that my love for you is still the same since our first day until now, you’re the only one whom I have any plans for the future. All of the sacrifices, efforts, and times that I put in, I didn’t expect anything in return, other than your love and dedication. I did everything just to make you feel that you’re the only one that got all of those things from me, not everyone else. I did everything just to make you feel happy, warm, and comfortable. I’ve never stopped daydreaming about how I’m going to build my life, buy my first house, first car with you, and marry you one day. You know what? I see you every two weeks, and when I return home I feel as if I've lost something that no one or nothing can replace. I had the feeling that I was leaving something behind that would never come back. I miss you, I'm upset, I didn’t want to return home, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re the only one, when I’m having fun and all I could think of is what if you were right here with me? I’d go on trips and while living in the moment, I allowed my imaginations to get ahead of me and I was able to picture you beside me and I got that feeling of “how nice would it be for you to be here with me”. To me, you’re perfect. To me, you’re beautiful as always in my eyes. I’m grateful you came into my life, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. My love for you hasn't changed, and no one can take your place in my heart, my mind, and my brain. And I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you. Sorry that I can’t keep you by my side. I’m still hoping everyday that you will come back to me again. You’re special to me. I’m so proud to have you in my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Your photo is still in my wallet, and your picture is still on my lock screen wallpaper. I wrote these letters with a song that I used to sing for you, When you’re home - Tyler Shaw. It’s 3AM now and I’m still thinking about you. I hope you will come back to me! #NL

2025-08-14

Farewell..

Hey it's been almost two months since we broke up, I still remembered you left me on 4th Sep with a short meaningless message "I want to be alone" without any explaination without a closure you just left me there in the dark wondering what did i do wrong but now that you seems happier i guess i was the problem. I wonder what went wrong i wonder if we give up too early or if i held on for too long? I never thought goodbye would be so hard. I'm writing this because i'm going to let go of us of you..life been awfully hard on me these days. My family my work nothing really works out for me i miss venting out to you about my problems yes i miss you i still do but its not that i want us back i'm glad that you are doing well on your own. it's sad because what i felt for you was really special and now i have to let go of everything as much as i hate giving up but i have to this time because i can't keep torturing myself like that, I stayed up all night crying i woke up in the morning crying i barely even touch food i didn't even go out and meet my friend all i did was getting drunk every nights so i can fall asleep,i keep doing things that i don't enjoy doing like active on the social media adding story publicly so you could see you know me better than anyone i aint the type to do that i ususally really private about my life it's getting tiring..this getting too long i'm gonna make it short..Take care T, you're a good person thanks you for the time we spent together, the calls the texts the late night conversations. i hope that you're happy with the way your life is right now i wish only the best for you ..Goodbye.