Pretend to be stupid

As an insecure gf and having trust issues, I have an undercover ig acc to stalk his ex. Just recently, she posted about her new bf in her story. Later that day, my bf posted some sad songs about ex and some sad memes, his chat becomes dry for quite a few days and he told me he wasn’t feeling good lately and need some times for himself. He ghosted me for a day now, I know he might be sad about other things or might going through a hard time, so I’ll just leave him some space. But as an overthinker, I feel like he hasn’t moved on from his ex and he’s probably processing his feeling from her being in a new relationship, but I don’t want to make a wrong assumption especially at the time like this. I’ll just pretend I don’t know anything… deep down it’s hurting me…

Feeling bottled up?

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December 2015

There was a guy that catch my eyes back then during my parent working trip at KPS since 2015. Our eyes catch while I was on my way down the stair and it keep bothering me for around one year and thanks god in 2017 I can forget it because I was busy studying for my BACII . I never thought that we could meet again but in 2018 I end up working in the same place with him until now. I use to be someone who good at controlling myself when it comes to feeling and always try to calm myself down for these few years but lately it seem to be out of control and I cannot stop thinking about him. He keep looking at me when we meet and when our eyes meet my heart keep racing. I always trying to avoid but the more I try the more we accidentally meet. I just don't know what to do now...it's so confusing.....

Just want to be your friend again …

First of all I’d like to say that it’s been long time that we don’t talk to each other but I still can’t get you out of my mind . I met a lot of people but nobody feels like you . I want to move on and forget you but it doesn’t work . I knew we just friends but I feel so safe when I’m with you . I crush on him almost 3years but never confess. He always treats me like he have feeling for me . since I knew that I like him more than friend Im just trying to distance myself because I know I can’t lose you .Sadly I’ve made all the wrong decision. From now on I still wanna be with you but I know it won’t work . So, I want you to be happy that’s it .

I don't want to give up.

I am depressed, insecurities filled my mind, anxiety consumed my daily life. I am filled with hate and resentment towards myself. I want to be happy but I just can't seem to be, I put on a fake smile in front of everybody but I am getting very exhausted doing so. I want to keep going but I feel like I am on the edge of the cliff and I am about to jump...! I cried for help but my family didn't seem to care, not many people seem to care, am I worthless? What is my purpose in life? Why am I here? Somebody help me!

The truth is

The truth? I like you. A lot. More than I’ve like anyone for a long time. And to be honest , it kinda scares me. I don’t want to screw up what we have. Whatever it is and i’ve fallen pretty damn hard for you. I just hope whatever happens we don’t ruin what we had before and now. The truth? I love you.

May this be the end - I can't do this anymore !

Too tired to keep pushing every girl i met away, just because i still hope we can re-write our own ending. I guess i kept my promised, unless she find a guy i would be allow to open up to a new beginning. finally the curse is over. (in the mean time- Go and watch " I Don't Love you By Gray" ) #🔥🐼 | (adios)

The peace I hadn’t found

ហេតុអីប៉ានិងម៉ាក់គិតថារឿងរបស់ពួកគាត់នឹងមិនប៉ះពាល់ដល់កូនៗ នៅពេលកូនត្រូវគេងយំដោយសាររឿងរ៉ាវទាំងអស់នោះ ដោយរាល់ជម្លោះសម្លាប់ទឹកចិត្តរបស់កូនដែលចង់រស់នៅស្ងាត់ស្ងៀម ទោះគ្មានក្តីសុខពិតប្រាកដក៏មិនចាំបាច់ឮការស្រែកទៅវិញទៅមក…កូននៅកណ្តាលពិបាកសម្រេចចិត្តណាស់ កូនពិតជាអត់ដឹងគ្រប់ជ្រុងនៃរឿងនីមួយៗទេ…កូននៅខាងណា សូមកុំបន្ទោសកូន.. កូនមានអារម្មណ៍ថាហត់ណាស់ រងសម្ពាធណាស់ ចង់នៅស្ងប់ស្ងៀម។ ប៉ាម៉ាក់ និងគ្រប់គ្នាប្រាប់កូនកុំអោយគិត តែនៅជាមួយគ្នាក្រោមដំបូលផ្ទះតែមួយ ជួបប្រទះឮផ្ទាល់ខ្លាំងៗ អោយកូនធ្វើមិនឃើញ មិនឮយ៉ាងដូចម្តេច…But I’m always grateful and thankful for everything. Tried to not think about it for days, weeks and years. Yet I’ve come to stressed myself to the point I lose interest in things I find interesting and enthusiastic for years. The longing for peace, and happiness continues but diminishes in chances too.

Too sensitive and weak

I hate how I'm too soft and emotionally weak. I cry over things that normal people would just brush off and move on. Little things can make me feel down and once I'm down, I don't really know how to pick myself up. When I see something that hurts my feelings, I would think about it for several months. I've been spending way too long trying to move on from someone I've only known for a short period of time and doesn't even care about me. If the person happens to know about my feelings, they probably find me stupid and pathetic. It's also difficult for me to share these things with my friends because they would find me overly emotional because even I myself think so. But I just can't help it. Is there even a way to improve myself to be mentally strong like others? Cos I really admire those who can just brush things off and let go of things easily. I can't keep on being this way when I've entered adulthood for quite a few years already.

Can you back?

Heyy na**can you back?Nh somtus dea nh kit khos tv som bek u tang dea dg tha u somkhan somrab nh klang tus3 yrg bek knea jit 1y kor doy nh nv tea nerk nv tea kit pi u lhot nh somtus dea ot arch plex u ban hx kor somtus dea ka somrach jit dol chkout bos nh tver oy puk yrg bek knea jg .nh pit jea jong oy u back vinh nass tea nh dg tha vea ot arch tv rouch te hx nh jong brab u tha nh ot arch tor tul yor nek p'seng krav pi u te u dg ot nh slanh u klang nas nh ot arch plex kdey sl bos yrg tang pi ban te tus3 kdey slanh bos yrg trem 2 month kor pit man tea nh mean arom tha nh sby jit pel nh nv kbea u :((