The truth is

The truth? I like you. A lot. More than I’ve like anyone for a long time. And to be honest , it kinda scares me. I don’t want to screw up what we have. Whatever it is and i’ve fallen pretty damn hard for you. I just hope whatever happens we don’t ruin what we had before and now. The truth? I love you.

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

Stranger again…

Typing on your keyboard while working, you were so focused. You are the type of guy that does not talk unless there is something important to be talked about, which was why we rarely talked until there was something either you or I needed help of. Later, everything changed because one thing led to another and we became so close. We started to share our daily lives activities, and you always found something that we both enjoyed talking to one another. It got to the point that it was very difficult to go through a day without talking to you. It had become a habit of ours to have daily conversation about this and that. No one knew that we were that close since we were so good at hiding it from others, but I knew that deep down in my heart, I already fell for you. You were a guy who did everything I look for in a boyfriend. You made me felt like that there were still nice guys in this world even though we were just friends. Every morning when I woke up, I was always excited to start my day as I would be able to see your face. I could not help but kept looking at you from time to time, and sometimes I caught you did the same to me too. One day, you confessed that you had feeling for me and wished that we could be more than just friends. You just made a girl very happy. I could not stop smiling seeing that message of yours. My heart was pumping hard and my hands were shaking. However, I did not know how to reply besides saying ‘I am sorry but it is not possible’. The feeling of wanting it so much but could not get it was like having a knife stabbed in my chest. We both knew why it could never happen. You gave it a try hoping that I would say yes but I could never do it knowing that it could hurt someone. A part of me wish that you never said those words so that we could keep pretending that we did not have feeling for each other and still could communicate with one another as usual. We were like characters in a novel who could never have a happy ending together. A chapter of my life with you in it was the best and at the same time the most painful. We met, we talked, we became close, and then we became strangers again. It was like nothing had ever happened between us.

2025-08-14

No Reason to Stay 🥑

Is spending time with me exhausting? What? You said it's because you tired from work, that's why you act like this? I mean you know, I'm super busy at work and I'm really burnt out too. But still, I carved out time to spend it with you, and I want our time together to be special, you know! and I bring you here because I wanted us to reconnect, and... do you seriously think I came here to just shop? I want us talking and walking together... but you always want to go eat~ is it because you're hungry or are you just trying to kill time? You don't want to do anything with me anymore, do you? 😞 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6qdzjTSgH0

2025-08-14

Influence

Do you think, being with someone who is depressed, will turn you into someone like them too? You’re being tortured emotionally by them to the point you just want to suicide with them, but still, you have to be that someone comforting them and tolerating with everything. You changed from someone who is so optimistic to pessimistic, and damn the world is never pink again.

2025-08-14

Realization

It's been a while since our last conversation, at first I've gone through many hardships and confusion, wondering what was the real reason. After some time have passed I've come to the realization stage where I realized many things. I realized what is the thing that makes you upset, the words I could say, and the actions that I could do to make things better. I understand why you always want me to change. I'm so happy to see that you're doing well with your life journey right now. I wish that one day you can open up for me once again and I'll make sure that you meet a better version of me. I don't want you to build me for another person.

2025-08-14

Maybe i'm happy, maybe not.

I've had several relationships. They are of different life lessons. But good or bad? Honestly, I don't know. Few years now, I've had my eyes on someone. Talked once, wasn't really a conversation. Friends told me to go for it, but in my mind I just feel like there's no chance. Somehow this one-side, distanced love doesn't make me sad or depressing. Nor happy. I feel like knowing that she exists is good enough for me to live my life. I don't know if years ahead I still feel the same. Maybe this is selfish, maybe this is me settling down, maybe not, I don't know.

2025-08-14

once a lover, now a stranger

i will always remember the day we started talking. i would never forget the man whom i used to cherish, and treasure. it's been 2 years already since we were officially broken apart, but still, i couldn't get over you. after all this time, i still think about you, and want you back. however, it seems like you are better off without me. i know you haven't found someone new yet, so has me. day by day, i keep waiting for you, hoping someday you're gonna come back and love me again eventhough i know it's impossible. i know i was the one who asked for the breakup because i was so stupid and immature, and reckless. we had been together for so long and i didn't trust you. i was too afraid that you would leave me someday, so i left you first. we're strangers now. i deserve it. p.s my heart will only be for you #chh

2025-08-14

Have you ever missed me once ?

From someone you didn’t talk to anymore. It’s been almost 3 years since we met each other in China . Everything went smoothly for us until we got back to our home country. You started to change all of your attitude toward me, the text became emotionless as cold ice. Anything reminds me of you even your favorite drink, favorite dessert, favorite food and all the things we used to do together. Have you ever thought about how we spend there ? How we talked? How we explore the Chinese food ? How I walked you to your school gate ? Have you ever missed me even once? Did anything remind me of you? #KNT01.

2025-08-14

Imposter Syndrome

I feel that every single day and I hate it. I hate myself for having that feeling when I'm supposed to feel so grateful for whatever I have right now. People around me are all so successful and smart and everything and I look like a clown by existing everyday. I freaking hate it.