Nobody heard from me for months

I’ve been isolating myself from everyone for awhile now. I avoid meeting ppl, I don’t pick up calls or reply any chat from anyone, I put my phone on airplane mode everyday. To those who knows me, will know how normal it is for me to disappear every now and then. But this time I took a long break, I don’t know if ppl around me will be patient enough to deal with this break. I have this one habit of disappearing when things get tough and refuse to ask for help from anyone or showing my vulnerability to ppl. Things get tough lately to the point that everything become overwhelming to me, I can’t complete any task, I can’t even take care of myself. I used to be an achiever, a person who dream big and thrive for everything in life, want to do this and that, but things often take the wrong turn, then I failed from time to time, which leads me to choose on a plan B (which I’m not very fond of). Time goes by, I feel like I’m shifting further away from my dream, I’m forcing myself to do the thing that I don’t want to do, I feel like everything I do is just for the sake of existing, I don’t feel like I have a life anymore. Sometimes I just wish I have the power to erase myself from ppl memories, I just want them to forget about me so that I can end my life peacefully. I don’t want to carry remembrance, remorse, or sorrow to my after life. But that’s physically impossible. Sometimes I wonder what if I move away as far as possible, disconnecting from ppl until one day they forget who I was and start working on myself again until I’m in a good state and come back like nothing happened, will they still accept me? Will that make everything better? I feel bad yet grateful for those who often trying to help or checking up on me once in a while when they notice I’m not okay, I just want to say sorry for ignoring u but thanks for ur patience. It might look like I’m disregard ur empathy, but I just wanted u to know that I appreciate that a lot, even though I don’t say it and I value ur time, effort and everything. Just for the quick update for those who asking me ‘How’s thing? How’s life?’, not so good, but I’m thriving and doing my best to get by. Just for now, I need a break, a long big break from everything. I can’t continue at a stage like this. I’ve been building bad performance at school, at work and every task that I attempted to do. Therefore, I quit school, quit work, avoid any social social interaction at all cost. There’s just me and me atm. No I don’t have plan or know what to do next anymore. I’m just working on my inner me. Hoping I’ll be okay again very soon. So pls be patient with me, don’t give up on me just yet, I’ll be back…

Feeling bottled up?

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To the ex i love the most,seng.

I realized that i loved u too much and forgot to kove myself. And now i love myself more than before. Im trying to hard to change myself to be better so I won’t get hurt in the future like u did to me. Anyway i never hate u. Im still loving u. It’s to be honest. I can’t unlove u. And I appreciated everything that u done for me before. U as the second man after my dad to take care me everything abt food, drink, sleep and protect my everytime. Im so thankful cuz i never got a man like u before.

I miss our moment.

I know you dont want to be in a relationship. You used to tell me that. It's my fault that i keep falling for you. You're too good to not falling for. You bought me my fav food, bring me to the place I want to go. Late night drive around city, hold hands... You gave me a tight hug, a hug i would never felt the same with anyone else. And now look at us.. we dont even talk anymore... i miss you. I miss your voice, your scent, everything about you. I miss our moment. I dont know what to call it but at least i had you and u're my happy place. At least I got moment... a moment that i'd never forget. 😞 I know we're only had each other for a short period of time but that's so unforgettable... it wasnt long but i know that it was something even there's no way to it. I miss you... i wish we could be us again, forget about anything and be the happy "us" just like we used too... too shy to say but i really hope u stay... #N💓</3

One-sided love 🌜

You look like a moon but I am just a piece of shit who’s loving you. It would be great if you’re just take a look or keep an eye on this worm that loving you from far apart. At the end I'm still wishing you the best my moon ❤️

5Year

៥ឆ្នាំដែលស្គាល់អូន ៥ឆ្នាំដេលបងឈឺចាប់ 5ឆ្នាំដែលបងហត់នឿយ ៥ឆ្នាំដេលបងលះបង់ 5ឆ្នាំដេលបងពិបាក ៥ឆ្នាំដេលបងបានបាត់បងអ្វីៗគ្រប់យ៉ាង ៥ឆ្នាំនៃសុបិន្តអាក្រក់ តែ5ឆ្នាំនេះ បងនៅតែស្រលាញ់អូន

I love you

I don't think you lied when you said " I love you " You meant it, but the love is not strong enough. Not strong enough to care about me; not strong enough to ever afraid of losing me; not strong enough to change for me; not strong enough to ask me to stay. And you let me go. I should have asked you when you said you love me. How much is the love...? 'cause now I'm suffering in the consequences of loving you too hard alone... I don't regret meeting you... But sometimes I wish I should have turned away the first time I met you... I wish I didn't choose to trust you. I wish I hadn't let myself fall for you. I wish.

សង្សារក្នុងចិត្ត

រាល់ទង្វើបងធ្វើគ្រប់យ៉ាងក្នងនាមត្រឹមជាប្អូនរបស់បង កំដរបងព្រោះពេលនេះបងនៅឆ្ងាយពីសង្សារបង ក៏មិនដែលមានបំណងបំបែកបំបាក់បងពីគេ មានត្រឹមតែចិត្តស្រលាញ់បងតែម្ខាង អរគុណដែលមិនភ្លេចថ្ងៃខួបកំណើតរបស់ប្អូនម្នាក់នេះ អរគុណជាមនុស្សទីមួយដែលជូនពរប្អូន អរគុណដែលបងចំណាយពេលវេលាជាមួយប្អូនតាមពាក្យសន្យារបស់បង នៅតែជាក្មេងតូចម្នាក់របស់បង បងសម្ដែងរឺមិនសម្ដែងប្អូនមិនដឹងទេ តែរាល់ទង្វើដែលបងធ្វើពេលនៅក្បែរគ្នា ប្អូនពិតជាមានសេចក្ដីសុខណាស់ ប្អូនដឹងច្បាស់ថាព្រំដែនរបស់ប្អូននៅត្រង់ណា ប្អូនសុំទុកបងនៅក្នុងចិត្តប្អូនបន្ដទៀតចុះ បងនៅតែជាមនុស្សម្នាក់ដែលប្អូនឈោងមិនដល់ តែប្អូននៅតែប្រាថ្នាហើយស្រលាញ់បងដូចដើម ក្ដីសុខរបស់បងជាក្ដីសុខរបស់ប្អូនម្នាក់នេះដូចគ្នា។ ពីក្មេងតូចរបស់បងដែលតែងតែស្រលាញ់បង⭐️✌️

Is it hard to find someone?

It’s hard to “just be friends with someone you fell in love”…#S🪴

To my Pisces’s man ♓️

I still love you even we are apart for a long time. I’m still holding up to you. I want us to get back together again just like how brave I texted you, but the word afraid appears every time I think about it. I afraid that we might end up not talking to each other again. I’m glad that we are friend for now even I know this kind of friend just a title.