Can you please answer this question?

If you ever lose trust in your lover, would you end the relationship? I remembered working more than eight hours a day just to save enough money to buy him a gift for his birthday and ended up finding out that he cheated on me. Even though he changed, for this one year, he became a completely different person but still... I can't trust. We fight due to my overthinking and untrusting him. Our argument worsened his health and I really want to let him go but at the same time, I want to hold on to him.

Feeling bottled up?

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A clown 🤡

(This is like a note to myself) There’s a quote said don’t expect the happiness from where u lost it and they’re right. No matter how much u still love someone or feel like u want to give someone another chance just because u feel bad about it, just don’t do it. It’s not worth it. If there’s moment when u feel like u should go back, just remember how much u have strived, how much u have tried to moved on from all the trauma, how hard u have tried just to get urself back up again. I have come so far just to get over all the trauma that he gave me, now that I gave him a chance, he flipped on me and now I have to go through the same process all over again. It’s hurting and it’s embarrassing at the same time. He making me feel like a clown, but thanks for the lesson.

Right person BUT not the right time

Idk how to describe my feeling right now. You know what you always stuck in my head and heart even when you're gone. What i want to say and ask: - It’s my fault that i rejected you ( At that time , i think be friend is more forever than relationship even i have feelings for you) - I regretted about my decision - I always here for you no matter what and keep waiting you @ Am I your stranger now? Can you guys help me by sharing this post? I really want him to see it. _Seeing you happy is already my happiness_

feeling lately

I miss you a lot more than I realized. things keep happening and I always find myself wishing I could tell you about them.

At least we look at the same moon 🌒

We used to be best buddies but look at us now, we are stranger with unforgettable memories. You are now starting a new life with new people but me, myself and I still struggling with the pain you gave:) the love you gave, the things you gave, how much i’ve suffered because of you I'll count it as memorable moments I was with you❤️ We shared things tgt. We enjoyed a day tgt but at the end it’s only stupid me who’s waiting for you to comeback even though I know you’ll never comeback, I'm still praying for you from the darkest place you couldn’t see. You were my enchanté 💟

Some of my point of view in these past few years for hiding from the reality.

Dope I am a kind of person that would build the walls instead of the bridge because I used to experience some trauma events in the past. [newLine*] [newLine*] They used to call me “ sensitive, dramatic, self victimized, stupid, etc.” And here I am, being a cold hearted person ever in my life. I don’t like the version of today’s me yet, I am still glad that it kinda makes me stronger and be more careful around my surroundings. Running away from my own feelings is one of my coping mechanisms since it is the best way to do so when it comes to expressing emotions. I wanted to open up and have the healthiest relationship with others but the dark inner part of me is still keep telling me that they will judge me in every possible way that they could also the people that I expect then to be will be leave me eventually anyway so instead of being my real self, I just show them what they wanted to see from me.[newLine*] [newLine*] Losing the ones that I love is also a tragic cause for my mental health too. My mom passed away since I was 6 years old and I hadn’t had the mother-daughter moments yet and it really broke my heart ‘til nowadays. So instead of crying, I usually hide my true emotions and keep moving forward when I was still not healed from what broke me in the past. I used to held grudges, always get jealous when they got what I wanted, they have the best relationship with their families, they have a strong self confidence and many more. Very toxic person I could possibly find. [newLine*] [newLine*] But here I am, after all what I have been through both mentally and physically. A cold hearted b*tch also I am still keep finding out who I really am and what is my purpose of life. I still feel guilty when I hurt the ones that love me so, but nothing is permanent anyway so I’ll live the best of my life instead of pleasing other people. [newLine*] [newLine*]From, thyka. ♡︎

Old me VS New me

It hurts right? Turning from the happy, joyful and socialize person to the one who try to hide and isolate himself from everyone. I kept having mental breakdown when I’m alone in the dark room. Hope it gets better soon.

You will lost the moon while counting the stars

Bae, I wish one day you can figure out that you can find a lot of stars that is bright as the moon but you’ll never seen the moon that is never give up on you in every the dark night. So thus, Take a good care of someone who truly when everything is still fine. Don’t leave them behind until they’re no longer love you, don’t be regret over the thing that you did. I bet once they left, They’d definitely never get back to somewhere that is full of pain. Can you remember there was a person who always beg and fight just for your attention? I guess, you obviously think that they just want the attention but the reality is they only want to spend sometime with you. You’ll never understand how hard it is trying to chase after theirs lover.

- More then friend, Less than lovers

Incapable to keep you by my side but just to let you know that my heart was once yours . - To Sok Heang