🥑 - Knong Jit

To Someone I’ll always love

I know we no longer belong to each other, but I miss you, always have missed you, and always will miss you. I don’t know why it is so easy for you to move on, to forget about us, but I don’t want to be like you. I want to keep our memories in my head as long as possible , I won’t try to forget about us, because those are the memories I adore the most. I wish you had cared a little more about my feelings, if you did, maybe we wouldn’t be strangers today. You always blamed me when we argued, calling me childish , never once reflected on your actions . Never knew how much you hurt me, or maybe you did know, you just chose to not care. Because, after all , maybe I’m not that special to you. I love you a lot , a lot that I’d take you back the second you tell me you miss me. To the person I wish loved me more , #R

Toxic

I’m clingy, moody, insecure, have trust issues, self doubt, and lots of mental breakdown, which people categorize me as “toxic”. I’m trying to change. I really do, because I’m not feeling fine and happy with all those toxic traits too. I stay up every night questioning my own worth and existing. I don’t know why am I like this. And I thought, you would stay. I thought, you were different. I thought, you would wait for me to heal. Eventually, it was all my thought. Don’t take this wrong. I’m not blaming you. I was just hoping you stayed. I hope it was you who would have been there for me, but you have never been there with me on my bad days, not even once. I’m too much to be handled. I always know.[newLine*]Let’s be honest with me one last time, what is your feeling for me the last few months we talked? Did your feeling fade away? Was it not strong? From the start? Or from when I started to show you my true self? My dark side? [newLine*] I miss you, a lot. However, I know being with me is too tiring for people, I love you so much that I don’t want you to suffer with someone like me. I hope you’re with someone better, healthier, happier. Someone who loves life, someone who will match your energy, someone who is normal.

Emji Kay Jr.

A fictional character, who was inspired by a stupid kid with zero commitment. And now, that character is having some mental crisis. The problem is that she’s been doubting her life decisions and kinda want to end every sh*t including her own L… And as a writer, shall I just finish her or let her live fearing those uncertainty?

2025-08-14

Pain….

Hey, I don’t know whether you’ll see this but I hope you won’t. Anyway, I just found out that u muted me on social media when I did literally nothing to you. Why ? I just completely on my own space but when I found out about it, my heart just break into pieces. I don’t know who am I to you, whether I’m annoying to u or else. I’m completely not okay as you muted me and treat me this way. I cherished our friendship so much we’ve been friends for many years, we spent our wonderful teenager life together. I remember I had you, and u know u had me too. It’s just a friendship they said, but to me it’s a really pure and beautiful one I had with you but since you did this to me I might be somehow annoy u therefore, I will no longer post or share anything on social media… so if u see this it’s up to u whether u want to unfollow or block me whatever makes you happy but remember one thing, as I figured it out I can’t stop myself from crying as I don’t know that is how u treat me as friend for years, as someone who used to comfort, help, and yeah u helped me a lot too. We shared tons of memories and it left me heartbroken and speechless of how 2years of miscommunication lead us to this. You know I have trust issues when it comes to love but thanks to you now I have trust issue in friendship too. Good luck!!!

Before I give up

Well, this confession gonna sound stupid to some of you, yet, I hope I can keep my memory here. I am madly in love with a person I met in middle 2021 but I have never confessed nor shown any signs to him at all for I knew I’m not his type. I first met him through a volunteer platform which help me to spent my awesome six months working together with him. I am hopelessly falling in love knowing that I will never get a response from him. There was a time I gather all my strength and used drunk as an excuse to directly talked to him about how I felt yet before I could even talk, I found out he already has eyes on somebody. Thank to that I did not lose him until today. We barely talked now as our project is already ended - honestly I am still into him but I give up now. I am too hopeless to even think about him so I decided to leave a note here and hope this would find him well or rest well in my memory. Thanks ~

Man up!

How could I start it? I'm more than confused by you and felt disrespect. I've never thought your notification would matter to me. I genuinely never believe that one notification would make someone's day. But here I am waiting for your notification. For all these past years, I have never tried to open up or try to make it work as I did with you. I used to give zero effort to the guys that were trying to get close to me. For you, I check you out, I make sure to keep the conversation going. I thought maybe we could go far than this. Sometimes, I thought of how you would feel to me. Maybe, he is shy? He is not sure yet? Maybe, I don't open myself enough? or did I do something that he would feel confused. I doubted myself as well. However, your behavior ends up showing how you truly feel to me. Rather than trying to approach me back, you act as we've never had something between us. It's more than enough that a girl could approach a guy first and talk. Man up! Man up for the next girl you playing.

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