Dear#B
Please don’t love with someone else.
I can’t do anything right. He always pops in my mind and I can’t stop thinking about him.
Please don’t love with someone else.
Destiny has allowed me to meet a person who has taken a special place in my heart and has affected my life in some profound way. Being an introvert, it's so unusual of me to chat with other people. But for this person, I've tried. We chat for a month and I must admit, his company is way better than my solitude it doesn't exhaust me. Tgt, we share stories and updates about each other until late nights. There was no dull moment with him as he was so jolly and funny to talk with. He brings out the best of me as he make me smile and make me happy effortlessly. I must admit, he's the epitome of the man I've been praying for. But sadly, we separated ways and we decided to be stranger again. Everything that's good about us has just eventually ended. He has never shoot me a message anymore, and as to his reason, I still have no apparent clue. My life since then became pure dull and mundane. But up until this moment, two months has gone by, a part of me still longs for him;ther's a void in me that only he can fill: my heart still hopes that someday, he'd message me again. The memories that we had still made me smile even the littlest of things. And I'd love to have that kind of feeling once again; the excitement, the throbbing of my heart when receiving messages from him before. "IMY" if only you know, sadly I couldn't tell you this. letting you know that I've fallen once is enough. I'm just right here, waiting, and will always be. If you don't know how to come back, just send me a song. In God's perfect time, Hope we will meet again and start over again. #From P to P
Every year on this time, my birthday, I feel empty. I feel tired, pressure, and stress. Is it because I grow older, I got more responsibility. People may enjoy their birthday, but not me. I do not know why this happen. I noticed that in the last few year, I’ve been feeling the same. No excitement, nothing. NOTHING. I do not understand myself. I could not express in words. It just stuck in my mind, my body, my soul. Is it happen to everyone? Or just me? Writing this made me want to cry much, but there no tear left in me. If you have seen this and feel the same way, I hope you find your happiness and stay strong. #Fromaguywhobottledupeverything.
Hey, it’s been many years since I’m trying to move on. I know my feeling isn’t mutual and that’s fine. But there’s always moment when I always picture us in my head. Loving you is a guilty feeling and yet I still want you to be mine. It’s hurt when I know you love someone else. It’s hurt when I’m trying to move on while at the same time I want to experience us together however I can’t have you because you are someone I would feel guilt to have….. but I love you , love you till the point where I don’t want anyone else but you , till the point where seeing you happy also make me happy. I love you na , and I don’t know when I could move one but I’m pretty much sure that it would take years but it’s okay loving you is beautiful even though it hurts me.
So we both end up about 4years ago because you said you didn’t love me but I still remember how we talk to each other play game together share my story to you every day. And I never see you for long time ago and today we met again we talk again and I kinda feel like I still like you but not like how I used to love you more than myself before.
We both broke up because there a third person in the relationship… now we’re seeing each other behind the third person back… i know it bad, but i don’t feel bad… is it wrong?
I’ve been isolating myself from everyone for awhile now. I avoid meeting ppl, I don’t pick up calls or reply any chat from anyone, I put my phone on airplane mode everyday. To those who knows me, will know how normal it is for me to disappear every now and then. But this time I took a long break, I don’t know if ppl around me will be patient enough to deal with this break. I have this one habit of disappearing when things get tough and refuse to ask for help from anyone or showing my vulnerability to ppl. Things get tough lately to the point that everything become overwhelming to me, I can’t complete any task, I can’t even take care of myself. I used to be an achiever, a person who dream big and thrive for everything in life, want to do this and that, but things often take the wrong turn, then I failed from time to time, which leads me to choose on a plan B (which I’m not very fond of). Time goes by, I feel like I’m shifting further away from my dream, I’m forcing myself to do the thing that I don’t want to do, I feel like everything I do is just for the sake of existing, I don’t feel like I have a life anymore. Sometimes I just wish I have the power to erase myself from ppl memories, I just want them to forget about me so that I can end my life peacefully. I don’t want to carry remembrance, remorse, or sorrow to my after life. But that’s physically impossible. Sometimes I wonder what if I move away as far as possible, disconnecting from ppl until one day they forget who I was and start working on myself again until I’m in a good state and come back like nothing happened, will they still accept me? Will that make everything better? I feel bad yet grateful for those who often trying to help or checking up on me once in a while when they notice I’m not okay, I just want to say sorry for ignoring u but thanks for ur patience. It might look like I’m disregard ur empathy, but I just wanted u to know that I appreciate that a lot, even though I don’t say it and I value ur time, effort and everything. Just for the quick update for those who asking me ‘How’s thing? How’s life?’, not so good, but I’m thriving and doing my best to get by. Just for now, I need a break, a long big break from everything. I can’t continue at a stage like this. I’ve been building bad performance at school, at work and every task that I attempted to do. Therefore, I quit school, quit work, avoid any social social interaction at all cost. There’s just me and me atm. No I don’t have plan or know what to do next anymore. I’m just working on my inner me. Hoping I’ll be okay again very soon. So pls be patient with me, don’t give up on me just yet, I’ll be back…
Hey it's been almost two months since we broke up, I still remembered you left me on 4th Sep with a short meaningless message "I want to be alone" without any explaination without a closure you just left me there in the dark wondering what did i do wrong but now that you seems happier i guess i was the problem. I wonder what went wrong i wonder if we give up too early or if i held on for too long? I never thought goodbye would be so hard. I'm writing this because i'm going to let go of us of you..life been awfully hard on me these days. My family my work nothing really works out for me i miss venting out to you about my problems yes i miss you i still do but its not that i want us back i'm glad that you are doing well on your own. it's sad because what i felt for you was really special and now i have to let go of everything as much as i hate giving up but i have to this time because i can't keep torturing myself like that, I stayed up all night crying i woke up in the morning crying i barely even touch food i didn't even go out and meet my friend all i did was getting drunk every nights so i can fall asleep,i keep doing things that i don't enjoy doing like active on the social media adding story publicly so you could see you know me better than anyone i aint the type to do that i ususally really private about my life it's getting tiring..this getting too long i'm gonna make it short..Take care T, you're a good person thanks you for the time we spent together, the calls the texts the late night conversations. i hope that you're happy with the way your life is right now i wish only the best for you ..Goodbye.