Tired
I’m trying to be okay but I’m tired now.
រឿងខ្លះក៏បានដឹងទៅហើយថាចុងបញ្ចប់ទៅជាយ៉ាងណា បន្តទៅមុខមិនរួចមានតែបញ្ចប់ បើអ្នកមិនអាចផ្តល់ក្តីសុខអោយគេបានទេ ក៏ដោះលែងគេអោយទៅផ្លូវគេចុះបើវាមិនមែនជារបស់យើងទោះខំប៉ុនណាក៏នៅតែមិនមែន
I’m trying to be okay but I’m tired now.
I find it funny considering that I always understood your needs but you never tried to understand mine. How does asking about something I wanted to know make me toxic? your words hurt me so much to the point I feel numbed already. Everyday I just feel like this piece of puzzle you just used to complete your needs. If you love according to your mood, then don’t. I deserve better.
I spend most of my morning thinking about you. My thoughts take me back to the moments when we first met. I remembered how those smiles of yours have captured my heart. I still recall the conversations we had, the laughs we shared, and every other thing that included you in there. Sometimes, I would daydream about you, and I get butterflies. I spend most of my evening wondering if we get to talk. I always wanted to talk to you but was too afraid to approach you. And whenever you texted me, my day just got better. I hope that our paths will cross one day because I want to see you again.
តើខ្ញុំត្រូវធ្វើអោយអ្នកសប្បាយចិត្តមែនទេ ទាំងដែលវាមិនមែនជាកាតព្វកិច្ចរបស់ខ្ញុំ ?ហេតុអីខ្ញុំត្រូវជួយរំលែកទុក្ខអ្នកទាំងដែលខ្ញុំក៏មានទុក្ខដែរ? អ្នកបែរជាខឹងនៅពេលដែលខ្ញុំបដិសេធ ដោយលើកហេតុផលថាជាមិត្តនឹងគ្នា ហេតុអីមិនជួយរំលែកទុក្ខគ្នា? វាជាជម្រើសរបស់ខ្ញុំ ខ្ញុំជ្រើសរើសយកការបដិសេធ ព្រោះខ្ញុំក៏ចង់ការពារសុខភាពផ្លូវចិត្តខ្ញុំដែរ ខ្ញុំមិនចង់ដឹងរឿងអ្នកដទៃ ខ្ញុំគ្រាន់តែមិនចង់ដឹង ខ្ញុំហត់ ខ្ញុំធុញ ខ្ញុំក៏មានបញ្ហាខ្ញុំដែលត្រូវដោះស្រាយដែរ។ ស្តាប់ទៅដូចជាអាត្មានិយមពេក តែខ្ញុំចិត្តល្អច្រើនពេកហើយ ច្រើនរហូតដល់គេមិនចេះក្រែងចិត្ត ដល់ពេលខ្ញុំបដិសេធ ខ្ញុំក៏ក្លាយជាមនុស្សអាត្មានិយមភ្លាម។
Why can’t I hate the one who hurt and broke my heart into pieces? I can’t even erase your name from my head. I am fu*king hurt when I hear your name. Stupid me hoping to start over again with you.
My mom was talking about getting a divorce, and my dad was totally bummed out about it. For like a week I was bouncing back and forth between my mom's place and my house, where my dad was. I tried to cheer him up, but he kept asking about my mom and telling me to talk to her, do something to change her mind. But, to be real, I couldn't bring myself to tell him that she had already made up her mind. So the night before Father's Day I was heading out to crash with some friends, but before I left I told him I'd be back early to make him breakfast. He was like, "Nah, that's cool." Didn't think much of it. That night I hit up a club and drink tonnes of cocktails. After an hour of feeling nothing, I started to feel dizzy and sweaty. My heart was pounding and I was losing it. I asked my friends to take me to the hospital, that something was seriously wrong. They were all, like, "Nah, you're good." Finally, this dude I just met that day, who was friends with one of my homies, drove me to his crib. I was totally freaking out the whole way home, trying to catch my breath and not die. When we got there, my body started to calm down, but I was still super weak and wiped out. I remember lying on his bed. His dog came over and curled up with me, resting his head on my leg and looking all sad. Then, like around 6am, all my friends showed up, apologizing for not taking better care of me. I asked them to take me home, but on the way there I started crying for no reason, just feeling like I needed to go to the hospital. When we got to my house, there was a note taped to the door that said, "Don't go in and call the cops. I'm sorry for being a coward." My heart already felt weak, but when I read that note it just fell apart. I was in shock, but I managed to call the police and tell them my dad had killed himself. I sat on the porch and cried my eyes out. There was a lot of crying that whole day. When my mom showed up, she was wailing and crying out, "Oh my god, oh my god." They took me to the neighbor's house and put me in the guest room. The rest of the day I was all by myself, trying to make it through. There were times when I felt like I was going to pass out. I was too weak to cry. After a while, I realized it was Father's Day.
Is it still love when you have to keep asking for time and attention and still won't get it? Is it still love when your partner forgot exactly everything he told you he would do and everything about you? From every little details to every big events. Forgot even to meet you, forgot all the things he said he will do. He said he will... So I waited and waited... Even after I brought it up he didn't care to do it... Is it still love...? I'm not sure anymore... Too many sleepless night I've spent alone to think and worry if the love has already faded for you... I felt so lonely here... Too lonely...
Instead of it being a mind game, it's a "number game". No one like competition when they will lose to many. When a girl is in a relationship, there's only one guy to fight over. As simple as that, fewer guys, less competition. Plus, isn't it more thrilling to win over that one guy who wins over the other guys? #shedeservestwoboyfriends