Talking Stage

we're not officially in a relationship yet but it feels like a break up? we haven't met each other outside yet, but why i feel so attached? i try to draw us the line, and tell myself that we're hopeless and better off being friend; we won't work out but why i still pray that we could start over, and fix what we lacked of? i know you lost interested in me but you're the one who make me believed at first that you're the right one. you said you're not like them yet you still did. prolly, it's my fault that fall so hard, and expect so much. i try to ignore you, I stopped reply to your message not because I hate you or want to cut you off, but it's because you don't really care. you show no interest in talking with me at all. when it come to you, i'm still being squishy asf. and yes! the more i talk to you, the more i feel hurt. you seem fine because you feel nothing at all. it's hard right now, but if one day i will get over it just as you said. let's be friends again when that time come. from #K to #J

Feeling bottled up?

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Why?

Growing up, not bragging, Ppl tell me I look decent (not ugly, not so pretty either). Those who look decent tends to have people interested in them, right? Not me though. I don’t know why and please tell me if you do. Why isn’t anyone ever interested in me? Do I look so bad? Is my personality that hard? I’ve seen others having people crushing on them and having boyfriend and all those stuff. And I look at myself and my chat box is so freaking quiet, no fling, no flirt, nothing. Trust me, I’m not that desperate, it’s just pure curiosity. Why the hell isn’t anyone interested in me? Why? I see in drama ppl be like having crush and all those fling stuff and my life is so freaking boring 😂😂😂😂. My standard isn’t that high either, just average, like others. I’m also not looking for relationship, just some flirting, just knowing the fact that someone is actually liking me, having a crush on me would be enough. What could be the problem? My problem? 🥲🥲

Right person at the wrong time

We met each other in October last year. I never thought we both could come across and fell for each other. We've been talking and dating for almost 4 months until I realized I was a third-person in her private relationship. Shocked and furious I was at that time but I couldn't say it out loud cuz I was already in love with her. I used to think that I'd settle down with this girl and see our future together cuz I was so sick of falling in love again and again. Things went south and I decided to walk away from her with an unbearable pain for 4 months after we compromised. The last message I wanted send to her was "You are the greatest dream that I've ever had but it's time for me to wake up now".

I hope you're happier now.

It seems to me like you couldn't wait to finally getting rid of me...I was hoping you'd ask me to stay after all the shits we've been through and after all these months I've spent suffering in silent but you didn't mind losing me at all You would rather start afresh with someone new than to make things right between us I really did believe you when you gave me your word Never once did I question you and your intentions...I thought I knew you by heart and you wouldn't do anything to hurt me...I defended you to everyone Now I'm left feeling like I'm constantly dying

It was fun while it lasted.

Day by day we started to talk less and less. I tried my best to keep it going but you acted I’m annoying you. Sometimes, I wish that our long conversation will come back but I know that it probably won’t because I thought about it one sided. I always the second choice to anyone in my entire life but at first you made me feel like I’m not your second choice but not anymore. Is it because you’ve found someone else? I have so so many things left unsaid and I think that it’s better off that way.

Stubborn

I'm mad about the waste that happens when people who love each other can't even bring themselves to talk.

What if I am just the girl who comes into his life just to help him be a better man for another girl?

We werent supposed to meet. I was supposed to walk a path set out for me...i was supposed to never step a foot or breathe into your world...but a moment of recklessness brought me into a new world that made me into a happier person. And I met you. You were always like a shadow until one day i stopped, turned around, and fell immediately into your cold, indifferent eyes. You barely talked to anybody, but you were responsive to me. You tolerated my meanness, you listened to my sob stories, and you let me talked abt my drama without making me feel like i am a bother. Slowly, you opened up to me...but I know there is still a deeper part of you I might never get to know. Nevertheless, as friends, you are the best friend a girl could ever asked for. I've never had a male friend, so thank you for making me feel appreciated. Thank you for making me feel safe. Most important of all, thank you for making me realize what it feels like to fall in love with a true gentleman. I know my feelings arent mutual, but that is fine. We are still young. Our dreams are still far. One day, I will look back at us and smile. One day, when I am ready to move on, I will picture you in my head and tell myself, "This is the standard you're aiming for. Do not settle for less." Please...please dont get tired of me. I scolded you, nagged you because i care. I know you have the potential to be a succesful man that is why I do not want you to waste your potential. I want your family and the girl whom you will end up with to be proud of you. Why? Because you deserve the world. I care about you. A lot. I always do and I always will.

Final Chapter of Your Character in My Life

Regret? I'd say no. Because deep down I know you chose the right path. Pain? I'd say no. Because when I see how happy you are without my standing beside you, 'who am I to say "It's hurt." if you're happy?'--I ask. Miss? I'd say no. Because it would make no sense that someone, who hurt you, approaches you and say "I miss you". Love? Oh lord, No. It doesn't make any sense to love something you shattered, right? The only question to which I'd say yes is: "Is this the last time we talk to each other?" I'm not in a position to regret, miss, love, or even complain about the pain I've been going through. But at least I'm happy. I'm happy to know that I can no longer hurt you, and you're happy--even if someone else is the reason for that happiness.

Skinny Bullet.

It's hard to find someone with the same energy, And When I did I cant have it. I know I Aint best or maybe not the one u looking for but my love be real AF and I be trying.