testfa
fafafa
I think the older I get, the more comfortable I’m getting with me being on my own. Most of the time I spend time with the same people. It’s not like I don’t like getting to know new people, at all actually, but I think I just don’t want people to be disappointed once they really get to know me, because I think to most people, my life would look pretty boring to be honest.
fafafa
អ្នកសប្បាយចិត្តណាស់ អ្នកបង្ហាញថាមានភាពកក់ក្តៅ ពេញចិត្តគេណាស់ បង្ហាញថាគេស្រឡាញ់និងទទួលយកអ្នកជាអ្នក។ តែអ្នកភ្លេចគិតហេីយថាគេស្គាល់ គេទទួលយកអ្នកនៅពេលដែលអ្នកល្អប្រសេីរហេីយ អ្នកមានសម្ភារះនិយម មានផ្ទះថ្មី មានម៉ូតូឡាន មានបទពិសោធន៏ពីមនុស្សម្នាក់ដែលអ្នកបោះបង់ចោល។ អ្នកកែប្រែដេីម្បីគេ វាល្អហេីយព្រោះមកពីស្រឡាញ់ទេីបកែប្រែដេីម្បីបន្ត។ តែអ្នកក៍គួរតែចាំដែរថា អ្នកណាដែលទទួលយកអ្នកពេលមិនទាន់មានអ្វីទាំងអស់។ អ្នកណាស៊ូទ្រាំជាមួយអ្នកទោះមានឧបសគ្គរារាំង តាមពង្រាត់។ មានរឿងលំបាក អន់ចិត្ត ក៍មិនចោលអ្នក មិនមែនធ្វេីដោយបង្ខំចិត្ត ធ្វេីដេីម្បីចងចិត្ត រឺ ចេះតែទ្រាំៗព្រោះស្រឡាញ់មកយូរ តែធ្វេីហេីយនិងទ្រាំចេញពីចិត្ត ព្រោះមានគោលដៅ មានសន្យា មានពាក្យសម្តីថានឹងស្រឡាញ់គ្នាសាងអនាគតជាមួយគ្នា។ អ្នកគិតថាបាក់ទឹកចិត្តជាមួយខ្លួនឯងបោះបង់គេចោល ជូនពរគេអោយជួបមនុស្សល្អជាងអ្នករួចហេីយចប់? ពេលល្អប្រសេីរ ទៅស្គាល់មនុស្សថ្មី ស្រឡាញ់មនុស្សថ្មី មេីលថែគេ បង្ហាញក្តីស្រឡាញ់អោយគេ មានច្រេីនទៀត ធ្វេីល្អដាក់អ្នកថ្មីបែបនេះហេីយចប់? រួចខ្លួន? ប្រេីទ្រឹស្តី life need to move on? មានដែលគិតពីអារម្មណ៍មនុស្សម្ខាងទៀតអត់? អ្នកធ្វេីបាបចិត្តមនុស្សដែលកំពុងហេីយតែងតែស្រឡាញ់អ្នកខ្លាំង អ្នកបោះបង់គេចោលកណ្តាលទី។ អ្នកអេីយទោះមិនមែនជាអ្នកមានគុណរបស់អ្នក តែការអោយតម្លៃ ទឹកចិត្តស្រឡាញ់ មិនចាញ់លោកអ្នកមានគុណទាំង2 របស់អ្នកទេ។ អ្នកអេីយគួរដឹងហេីយចាំថាអ្នកហែលឆ្លង ទឹកចិត្តដែលស្រឡាញ់ ទឹកភ្នែកដែលអ្នកធ្វេីអោយហូរនេះមិនផុតទណា។ មិនមែនចេះតែបន្លាច ចេះតែថាទេ ខ្ញុំនៅតែស្រឡាញ់ បន់អោយអ្នកជួបតែរឿងល្អ តែកម្មពារមានពិតណាអ្នក វាសងភ្លាមៗនៅជាតិនេះឯង។
ពួកយេីងបានបែកគ្នាម្តងហើយ ហេីយក៏ត្រឡប់មកត្រូវគ្នាវិញ គេតែងតែនិយាយថាស្រឡាញ់អ្នក ប៉ុន្តែគ្រប់Postគេធ្វើខ្លួនឯងដូចនៅSingle សូម្បីតែLikeក៏គេមិនLikeផង មានអារម្មណ៍ថាខ្លួនឯងអស់តម្លៃជាមួយគេ បេីជាអ្នក តេីអ្នកនឹងដេីរចេញឫគួរនៅបន្ត?
This is a story of mine. A story that I don’t tell anyone and never plan to but it’s been making me feel so heavy so, I decide to confess it here. I’m a mentally ill person, since i was a kid (it’s a long long story). I didn’t get enough love and affection as i was a kid so since I became a teenager, i attach to people who give me affection easily. Long ago, i knew a man on internet. We started texting with each other until we fell in love. He was a really good guy. He loved me, always cared about me, checked up on me, helped me with everything, he was literally perfect plus he’s a good looking person, he was a man in every women’s dream. He didn’t know about my mental state until we dated and it turned out he was also mentally ill, but my condition is worse than him. But things went so smooth, our relationship was super healthy and we were so deeply in love. After we’ve been together for 1 year, thing started to happen, he started asking me to show him my body. I refused but he’d said I didn’t trust him or anything. So i showed him with the condition that there won’t be a second time and he agreed. A few days later he asked me again, he convinced me and if I refused, he’d get upset after that. Thing went repeatedly. He asked me again and again and there’s no the end of it. I loved him too much but doing something like that really made me feel so wrong and disgusted myself. I didn’t want our relationship to fall apart so i did as he told me to (i was stupid). Little did he know, i cried every time after showing him my body. A few months later, i felt like I couldn’t keep it going and going repeatedly like that anymore and i felt so wrong especially i felt like i’m a bad daughter and how’d my mom feel if she know that her daughter do something like that in such a young age. That night, he requested me again but then I refused and i told him i’m not gonna do it anymore, i’ve done enough and I felt so wrong about it. But then he started forcing me. I started to cry but he didn’t change his mind and he promised it will be the last time. I was dumb enough to believe that so i showed him again while i was crying and mad at him. After he felt satisfied, he started to cry, he felt sorry for me and he said I couldn’t control his mind and it was so hard for him. After a month, i guess, he started to request me again and when i refused he always get upset and acted cold to me. I loved him so so much, i was afraid that our relationship was gonna fall apart so i do as he said but that time, he convinced me to masturbate myself. I did everything that he told me to. After one year and half of our relationship, the distance was started to grow between as. I was not a good girlfriend to him, being with a mentally ill person like me is so draining and he also had so much things to deal with, he was also suffering and he still tried to help me and comfort me. I fell into a deep depression that I started to think about committing suicide again. But then, we broke up for some complicate reasons that I can’t even understand. I was so attached to him, i did everything just for him to come back, I begged him and I couldn’t eat or do anything, i just cried and kept calling him over and over even he didn’t pick up. But at night, he picked up but we didn’t talk much since i only called him so i can ask him to be back. Until one night, he said he was still in love with me but i need to be strong, when I become strong, he will comeback, I believed him. We called for a few minutes for a few nights but during our call he always asked me to show him my body and masturbate myself. I thought doing it would make him stay and love me, i was so dumb that I sacrificed and gave him everything just to make him stay. A few days later, I felt like he doesn’t love me anymore because he was so fine, he didn’t care whether i’m okay or not, if i eat, if i cry, he didn’t care about me, he was just living his life normally. He ignored my texted and didn’t pick up my call the whole day until night time, he picked up and asked me to do thing as I mentioned above. One night, i asked him if he was still in love with me because his action showed that he was already fell out of love. “I don’t have any feelings for you since the day we broke up, i was just feel pity for you and afraid you were gonna do something harmful to yourself”, he responded. It really hurt my feelings, it was like someone stabbed me in the chest, I started to cry so hard and all he could say was sorry. I was literally so so depressed, i still texted him and called him after he said that to me (i was so thaok) but he didn’t respond or pick up. After a few weeks I started activating my social media account and acted like I got over it (I didn’t get any better actually). He texted me, i was less sad and asked him to fix thing but he refused again. Things kept happening until a month or 2 months (I forgot) I decided to stop asking to come back since he got a new gf already but i was still in love with him and think about him 24/7. And now, i still can’t get over him and i can’t bring myself to hate him either because he was so good to me even though he did hurt my feelings but he treated me like i was something special and a really important person to him. The only person i hate right now is myself. I hate myself so much, i’m so disgusting and i think I deserved everything that happened to me. Everything that happened in the past is haunting me, the more i get reminded of it, the more i hate myself. Even though i tried to get over it, to forget it, to start working on myself, to heal myself but none of it work. They say time will heal but actually, it doesn’t. I act like i moved on and happy because I don’t want my family and friends to worry about me. They’ve been helping me a lot and i really appreciate it but it couldn’t help me somehow. It’s all my faults, I know people will hate me if they know about this but what can i do to be forgiven. But how can i be forgiven by people when i can’t even forgive myself…
I’m not sure if I can request this here but can DIS provide wifi for students too? Pleaseeee🙄 (Not sure whether they already provide or not)
I hope u read this kmeng komhoch🤣 this name maybe can help remind you who was called you like this. It's been 4months that we haven't talked to each other. How have you been? How is ur mental health? U might be find someone else, be with someone else or losing feeling on me I guess. Also as I knew from my friends they told me that you came back to Khmer? In this 4months I still can't move on from you, can't get you out of my mind even I tried everyday to make myself busy, tryna stopped thinking about you but can't, I really can't. Just know that I love you a lot. We don't even have a lot of memories with each other but why are you so hard for me to unlove u? My friend said "យូរខែហេីយសុខៗទៅចឹងមិនបាននិយាយគ្នា គេមិនបានស្រឡាញ់ហែងទេកុំភ្លេីពេក" and idiot me still here just waiting for that person. Still praying the best for him every day to get everything he worked so hard for.
B*tch, bye. But thanks for everything and the memories tgt but I hope I never see you again.
I dont know how it started and why it turn out this way. I wanna keep you at any cost even as the closest friend but it seems like I could never be enough for anyone. I dont want you to call me "best friend" since the last time someone called me best and all they do is ghosted me and I dont think u want me to be ur best friend too. I dont even have a chance to ask what is going wrong since I respect their space but you know deep down inside I wonder about all those memories, all the hardest times I have faced and shared with you, is it real. I dont know but I feel ache every time ppl say I was the best thing that happened to them, did they really mean it or just bc I was there for them whenever they needed me. I miss every game we used to play, meme we used to share, chessboard when u ask me to play chess. I could not listen to our fav song anymore, could not open up to anyone anymore. I wonder is it for character development since I never dare to go out of my comfort zone,u know how hard it is to go out and make a new friend at this age. no one pay attention when i say words only you pay those small things. can we just go back to those old times?