Who we are......

Earth-Kepler: Stay true to yourself

To my best ex-lover, It’s raining now. It’s a beautiful cozy evening. I suddenly want to tell you something but this is the only way I could convey this message. You may not see this, or you may not recognize me. Yet, I hope you still remember the nickname we gave each other. This is not the letter of regret. This is the letter of appreciation. I guess, it’s been 6 years already. I hope you’re doing great and living your best life. I hope you know how to love and cherish yourself, first and foremost. I hope you’ve found the path that can lead you to your dreams successfully. I hope you’re being honest and true to yourself. I hope you find the one you sincerely love and gives the same response back. Our love story might not have a happy ending, but looking back all I can see is—grateful and precious memories. You were and will always be my best partner in crime. We were too young to understand what love is, or how it works. If, only we were more mature back then, perhaps we could have embarked on a longer quest together. Yet, after all, it’s still a beautiful piece of my journey that I’ll never forget. We’ve grown now. Life moves on after all, and I hate to admit the fact that we’re just two strangers with fond memories. Still, I’m proud to say that you were my best boyfriend. I also told people how great you were as an individual and a partner. Our story didn’t end in the ugly way. At least, we knew that we were right for each other, just at the wrong time. Our short journey was a beautiful adventure. I hope you feel the same way too. Eventually, I hope you are sincerely happy right now. You surely know how I am as a person, right? So, if we see each other next time, can you at least say “hey” to me first, just like how we used to in the past? I think it will be a beautiful reunion of old friends. - kepler

Imposter Syndrome

I feel that every single day and I hate it. I hate myself for having that feeling when I'm supposed to feel so grateful for whatever I have right now. People around me are all so successful and smart and everything and I look like a clown by existing everyday. I freaking hate it.

2025-08-14

I am just a sore-loser

Disclaimer: If you're sensitive to any pessimistic contents, please skip this. You would not want anything to discourage you. I do not know where to start or what to write but here is my story. I'm born in good family, somehow i feel my life is not. I do not if i am overthinking or i am being too emotional. I am youngest child, my age is over 2 decades, my parents are over half of hundred. I am just still live by my parents, accomplish nothing but troubles. My parents spent nearly a million of dollars for my education somehow i feel to learn n.th useful to make them proud. My friends at this point, they made the name for themselves, they have a family. I feel like i am a lose. i fail as a child, as brother, and as a friend. I do a lot of things to disappoint my family. I know my family is well-known but this burden has pressure me more since i have a lot of expectation from people. In life, i want to have friends to hang out with but no one want to be near me, i had friends only in high-school that was because i see them everyday after that we cut off the contact. Even with my parents, i seem to grow distance, i could not do anything to help them. I want to be near them but i do not know how or where should i start. People might see me as out-going, friendly, extrovert but inside i am just a boring guy, emotional sh**, loner. I feel like darkness is my favourite place, like Batman but Batman is rich while i m poor. I just want to run off from home, and cut off the contacts just to free everyone's burden. I see myself with no real skill or ability even now i am just too afraid to be in love too, i know no one wants a useless guy. When people ask me, why do not i hang-out with my friends? I do not want to answer them, just because they do not like me, i do not blend in, or i have no friends. I know nothing beside being in the gym, fashion, and beauty. They are useless since I am not a model. It contributes nothing as incomes, only splurging. I need someone to understand me, lend me their shoulders, and telling me "Everything is alright", and somehow i just want to be alone. I sometime feel numb from sarcasm. I am also afraid to be in love since i got rejected on every of my confessions, i feel like i am not good enough for anyone, i just afraid to be in love, afraid to hurt someone too. I am just too insecure about everything. so far, i think i have reached my opinions. I do not know what to say anymore Thanks for reading

I see forever in your eyes, I feel okay when I see you smile, smile

I know we both had a hard time. I am sorry for everything that I had done. Wish I could turn back time to the good old days. Wish everything could turn back to day we laugh together at stupid things. I know you might not be to move on now. It broke me into pieces knowing that you've been crying because of me. The more I think of how much you've been hurting, the more I hated myself. I will always love you. I hope one day, I'm not sure when but I hope it's soon, we will be back to where we were. Continue where we paused and start all over again with stronger deeper connection. And I see ....

A Fellow ADHD

Consider this a respond to #KJ0061 – as a fellow person with ADHD (side note: ADHD more common than you might think). ADHD is often not talked about here (our country) and more often than not, this neurodivergent behavior is misjudged for laziness and reckless. There are many forms of ADHD, but in my specific case, I often hyper fixate on things and lose feelings really fast. I can start a new hobby and forget about it the next day. I can place my keys somewhere and would lose it just as quickly. In class, it is very difficult to concentrate and online class isn’t making it any easier. I often find myself fall short when it comes to tasks such as organizing and planning. I would forget to bring even the simplest thing. I’m always running late for class, and falling behind on certain tasks. That doesn’t mean that I am unable to do anything just like the neurotypical (people with normal brain). It just take a lot more effort. Some of you will never understand how much effort it takes for a person with AHDH to bring everything to class, complete assignments on time and manage their time. It’s not impossible, but it takes us so much effort just to seem normal. I try my best to walk at the same pace as the neurotypical, but I’m sure many people with AHDH struggle more than me. If you’re reading this, be kind to people who you think might have ADHD. Maybe it’s not that they don’t try. Maybe it’s very, very, very hard for them to do the simplest things. Be understanding.

Nightmare

I have a secret that I need to tell. A secret that has made me live in hell. It was quite a long time ago, I was s€xual harassed by someone I trusted and thought of as family. I alternated between guilt for let it happened, feeling dirty and unable to get clean. I haven’t told my parents or his parents because I’m sacred of victims blaming culture in this society. I don’t even told my friends about it either not because of victims blaming but I just can’t talking about it. Lately, something so miniscule triggered me and it’s unbearable. It ended up being connected to my nightmare again and it changed my quality of life. I thought that it was no longer bothered me anymore but it doesn’t. I’m terrified every time I smells the same cologne that he used. I went through “I hate all men” phase. It’s certainly changed my view of men, I’ll be never be able to look at men entirely the same way again. It’s my first time to talk about it since it has happened. Thanks, admin for letting me share it with KnongJit.

Love and Trauma

"Why did we break up?" It has been exactly 49 days since the day you told me that you feel off and you cannot continue this. I've been questioning myself and there were a lot of question marks in my head. Back then to day one, you told me I was your everything and your life would be hell without me. I told you that my previous relationship gave me a lot of traumas and I was scared to start a new relationship because once I love you, I commit and put 100% feeling and effort into it. You promise and you were being vulnerable to me. I decided to trust you and love you wholeheartedly. Our relationship was so pure, lovely, cute, happy until the very last day. The day that another part of me collapse. The day that every promise is broken. The day that you gave up on me. How could we suddenly break up? You gave me the love that make me feel everything then suddenly it dropped to 0. It is sting no matter how much many times I am trying to apply the medicine. It's difficult to picture it without that person because we were having a dream together and I already pictured you everywhere with me. I can't help but think about you in the middle of the night. I can't help but fantasize about a time when everything was fine. Again, I am living in a trauma that haunt me every single day. A trauma that told me that I would never be enough for someone even I keep hearing you deserve better but deep inside me told me that "IF I AM ENOUGH, HE WOULD NOT GIVE UP ON ME." Thank you for giving me love that I always want to feel but never want to leave. It gave me pain, trauma, and fear but I am glad that we come across each other in this lifetime. We broke up but "Once upon the time, my heart was yours." I love you, a_y

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