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I felt inspired by watching the rain through my bedroom’s window with my light off. What if the rain were just like us human when crying? Those droplets were just like our tears. Those rumbled thunder was just like us yelling out for help, and those lighting strikes were like us trying to hurt ourselves. It would be unfair if so. Instead of having friends staying besides to comfort like human, the rain doesn’t. Even worse, people would just run away as fast as they can just to avoid it; they get scared, cover their ears even eyes, and curse when they see or hear it thundering. I am one of them too. I get scared and cover my ears when hearing ones. But now, by sitting in my room and considering it, I feel sorry for it. Imagine having no one to turn to or understand you when you need them, and that’s how the sky feels right now. It has been hiding its pain for so long that it couldn’t hold it back anymore, so it had to let it out by pouring rain on us, hopelessly crying and asking for help. That’s why I sit here in my room looking at you and admire you from afar without you noticing or even knowing that I exist. You are doing a great job. Yes! Let it all out; however, I can’t assure you that there won’t be any day like this again, but one step at a time. Remember all those days that the sun was burning all of the creatures on earth while you were their savior? You gave us rain, shades, and good days to us. We are grateful for that. You know what? Without you raining (crying and getting things out of your chest), the presence of rainbow means nothing at all. Therefore, look at those good things you have done for us to keep you going. #sciencefailed

Feeling bottled up?

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2025-08-14

Some of my point of view in these past few years for hiding from the reality.

Dope I am a kind of person that would build the walls instead of the bridge because I used to experience some trauma events in the past. [newLine*] [newLine*] They used to call me “ sensitive, dramatic, self victimized, stupid, etc.” And here I am, being a cold hearted person ever in my life. I don’t like the version of today’s me yet, I am still glad that it kinda makes me stronger and be more careful around my surroundings. Running away from my own feelings is one of my coping mechanisms since it is the best way to do so when it comes to expressing emotions. I wanted to open up and have the healthiest relationship with others but the dark inner part of me is still keep telling me that they will judge me in every possible way that they could also the people that I expect then to be will be leave me eventually anyway so instead of being my real self, I just show them what they wanted to see from me.[newLine*] [newLine*] Losing the ones that I love is also a tragic cause for my mental health too. My mom passed away since I was 6 years old and I hadn’t had the mother-daughter moments yet and it really broke my heart ‘til nowadays. So instead of crying, I usually hide my true emotions and keep moving forward when I was still not healed from what broke me in the past. I used to held grudges, always get jealous when they got what I wanted, they have the best relationship with their families, they have a strong self confidence and many more. Very toxic person I could possibly find. [newLine*] [newLine*] But here I am, after all what I have been through both mentally and physically. A cold hearted b*tch also I am still keep finding out who I really am and what is my purpose of life. I still feel guilty when I hurt the ones that love me so, but nothing is permanent anyway so I’ll live the best of my life instead of pleasing other people. [newLine*] [newLine*]From, thyka. ♡︎
2025-08-14

#URMYPGB

Idk where to start so, 2018 the new term start and i got to meet her. She changed into my class with her friends. Her group and mine are two different world from eachother. Actually ik her even before she got to know me. We started studying in the same class, and extra classes. I really like her and i really wanna get to know her more. One day i reply her Instagram story and we got to talk. Later on, she replied my story, and here the our conversation started. We've been texting in Instagram for like about a year. We sometimes flex to messenger. I always asked her to send me lesson as an excuse to talk to her. At that time, those conversations were just normal but i was damn happy because i like her so... Her group and mine are still not boning together idk why but prolly idk lol. We were such a good talker in chat but in person lol awkward affff So 2020, COVID. We were still texting intelegram, messenger and Instagram. She always sent me her fav songs, what she watched on YouTube, forward me food or place or meme content from Facebook to messenger, and also send me video and meme, sth cute on Instagram. I did the same too. Ik you prolly can't feel the feeling from reading this but ... Sorry I'm not so good at expressing So here let me continue Idk but tbh covid got us both close to eachother. We talked everyday, she texted me just to tell it time for extra classes, or else send me food. She sometimes went out and when she's back, she always told me about her day tho i don't ask. Tbh i confused. I myself i know i like her, i mean i have feelings for her but what about her? She did like we're sth. Idk how to explain it all here but later on when 2020 about to end, we don't talk anymore, she just went silent on me and i have no clue what to do till now. My friends all know i like her, they also said they bet her group also know about this but no one dares to say. One of my friends said, I'm too obvious whenever it comes to her, she prolly knows but pretend like she doesn't. Hmm but it doesn't matter anymore. Right now i only wish she and i can still be friends. The thing is i only got to see her like 3 to 4 times in this 2021. And the last 2 times, she didn't even talk to me or even look at me. Heartaches lol. I was there like...? You didn't see me? Or what? She has changed... I mean she's not that excited to see me like before. Before whenever she saw me she always comes to me amd hit me as a greeting hut now lol, even my face she didn't even look at. You might wonder what happened between us. Seriously i have no answer cuz I don't even know what's wrong, she just gone silent and ... You won't see this anyway so imma just write it here

2025-08-14

If I offended, I sincerely apologise.

Things have been tough recently, or all these times if I had to say. About 6 six years ago, I'd never imagined us all to be able to share so plenty of memories like we did several years back, and even after everything that has happened, I'd never take them back. It was a pleasure and honor to be able to live within memories we created. Things were great, we were such a family and I knew back then that there was nothing that was gonna break us all. We did almost everything that all young dumb kids did ... my best memories are always the one we did in the class, during our trips to wherever we've been, the party we held as broke teenagers .... we drank till some of us passed out with the feeling of youngsters like us got to taste the alcohol. I can remember the jungle juice we together made. It might sound strange for some other particular groups that we usually bash and tease each other almost everytime we can and it was so fun and unforgettable. That's how our friendship and bond grew tighter. As days went by, after we parted ways due to graduation, many of us separated and distanced. I still missed them a lot back then and I still do now even though they don't I guess. I never knew things were growing in bad sense during our time and I really don't. I don't act innocent now that I might have hurt you with our teasing games. Only years after that I realized how dreadful I am for you all and that you never spoke a word with me, you rather gather a group of you(s) to talk about how you all hated me now and then. We all played that way, you teased me and I teased you, everybody teased everybody. I thought that way was the thing for our group, but I thought alone. Many of you come together to resent me and disown me like a street dog. However, I just want to tell you all that you are all still my friends and I never regretted building this friendship from the ground for all these years even though we are no longer are friends, no longer talk. I just hope you have a good life and good people around you, especially away from people like me that you resent so much. I've always thought I was a pretty good friend and the one who cherished everything in friendship, and sorry that my actions offended you in any way. I apologise, sincerely. Most of all, I just want to say thank you for all those memories that always remind me of my great highschool time and will always live in my memory and heart. I miss you all. P.S Sorry and thank you!

2025-08-14

Your supporter

I will support you in everything you do which also includes your decision in leaving me. It's not what I want, but if that's what you want and it will make you happy, I'm willing to suffer alone. please be really really happy, so that I know I made a right decision.

2025-08-14

Upset

I’m a type of person that value friendship more than relationship , I rather not date anyone just so I have more time to hang out with my close friend. We share stuff no one ever know about us , enjoy each other’s company without saying a word to each other , inside jokes , hangout non stop…But then things change , third party comes in , she is still my friend but someone else has become her closest friend. They share conversations day and night , calling non stop , playing with each other all the time . I feel like I’m left out but who am i to be jealous of that , you guys seem to be enjoying each other company so much , why would i ruin that because of my feeling , I’m just upset that I can’t provide you that feeling , but it is what it is . I don’t know if you know that I’m upset with that but since I’m not good at opening up to you anymore, I hope the best for you guys even if we become stranger one day…
2025-08-14

i want to back to my ex.

I can’t deny anymore that I still love him although we broke up for 8 years already, but he’s still the one. Anyway I don’t have gut to tell him how my feel is since we’re now became friends and I don’t want this friendship broken again! But I want him back is there anything that I should give him the hint that I still into him with all these years?

2025-08-14

Hi, I’m nauJ!

The greatest person I ever met. How have you been? I mean, I hope you’re doing well and happy everyday. Please sleep well and eat well too. You deserve happiness.^^ I wanna text you though, but just feeling like I shouldn’t cross the line cuz I don’t really know your condition rn and I don’t know if you will welcome for my existence or not:( I’ll not cross it until you give me a sign, even though we will never be the same but just wondering how good it is if we can talking normally, become a great best friend to each other, since I really like your personality. Gudluck bong!>.< https://youtu.be/1skpo8ziUsA
2025-08-14

It’s okay…

It's okay for you to miss the person who hurt you, but it's not okay for you to let that person hurt you again. It's okay for you to talk to the person who doesn't deserve you, but it's not okay for you to give that person another chance. It's okay for you to think about the person who lied to you, but it's not okay for you to believe that person can be trusted. It's okay for you to be friends with the person who played you, but it's not okay for you to hope that this person is capable of being loyal. It's okay for you to be there for the person who made you more miserable than happy, but it's not okay for you to expect that it's gonna be different if nothing ever changed. It's okay for you to still care about the person who took you for granted, but it's not okay for you to put yourself back in a position for that person to make you feel unappreciated. Don't let someone who did you wrong make you feel like there's something wrong with you. Don't devalue yourself just because someone didn't know your value. Know your worth even when that person doesn't.