Why Yes?

Yes

Feeling bottled up?

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To the person I loved the most.

Hi! Yeah it's weird when I have to express this feeling, but it's kinda worse if I don't speak it out and keep it in my head a little longer. I know it's only 3 or 4 months that we've known each other, and it even started from a complete stranger who have connection only on social media. However, the feeling I had for you were real. I really wish that it could work out for us, or maybe we could do better than this, or at least we have a better ending. I regret for the action I did without the consideration of your feeling, I really do. Until these day I still feel sorry for doing those dumb things. I chatted to you because I miss you, I care for you, I don't want bad stuff to happen to the person I care so much about; but it broke me to pieces when you told me that you're dating someone now. I'm happy to see you smile, really. I'm happy for you that you're with a better person who will provide what you want and what you need. But at the same time, I was sitting in the corner of room thinking about you all day. I couldn't focus on my working and studying. Everything were bad for me, it left the scar on my heart. Yet, I still have the urge to look at our old conversation. Just to find out and tell myself that I have lost the person I love the most to a stupid mistake, and there's no way I can reverse or go back in time to erase what I had done but to accept the truth that you're gone. One last thing, it's close to your birthday and I still have the gift that I bought for you months ago. I hope I can give it to you, but I don't wanna make you feel uncomfortable seeing me. On top of that, I don't wanna be a conflict between you and your partner. Goodluck with your new journey, and yeah last long.

is it really a "karma" or "love" in this generation sucks

i saw admin's post #AdminKJ001, i kinda agree but during this time, no matter how good u did, u still get ur heart broken. somehow, i still believe in love bcuz of the way i love. yet, im better off alone bcuz love in this generation sucks. prolly, no one deserved my feelings and love anymore.

Does he feel the same way that I do ? It’s alright. At least, we met.

In my entire life, I’ve never experienced having a huge crush on someone but ever since I met him, I feel like his whole existence taught me the taste of first love because I’ve never been in a relationship once before ( isn’t it odd or an embarrassment, I don’t know but it’s true ) He is the man like the real man who is wholly a gentleman, kind, well-educated and respectful to everyone especially women which I fall for him even more. But the thing is I myself am not confident enough to talk to him like this is just me who is very shy and having the fear being judged from him hahaha since I’m so insecure and the thought of “everything will never work out for you” is always there in my head. And I, too, feel like he’s also feeling the same way as well ( no clue whether or not it’s real hahaha ) because I caught him glancing at me very often ( oops I forgot to mention that we’ve been studying in the same class ). Whenever I say something or respond to the class, he paid well attention to me and his eyes were soft making me feel like he wanted to hear me speaking more. He said that I’m so cute in a low tone and even wrote somewhere on a note but I heard and saw it. And when we got close at some points, he gently smiled like a gentleman he is and also laughed at my sudden jokes. He usually imitated what I did and that was so lovable of him. But does he really feel the same way that I do ? I hate myself for not being confident enough to go and talk to him like everyone does. Whatever the reason is, I’m just wishing the best for him because one day he will meet someone who is better than me and I know we two are not meant for each other. At least, we met.

My Beloved Stranger

Destiny has allowed me to meet a person who has taken a special place in my heart and has affected my life in some profound way. Being an introvert, it's so unusual of me to chat with other people. But for this person, I've tried. We chat for a month and I must admit, his company is way better than my solitude it doesn't exhaust me. Tgt, we share stories and updates about each other until late nights. There was no dull moment with him as he was so jolly and funny to talk with. He brings out the best of me as he make me smile and make me happy effortlessly. I must admit, he's the epitome of the man I've been praying for. But sadly, we separated ways and we decided to be stranger again. Everything that's good about us has just eventually ended. He has never shoot me a message anymore, and as to his reason, I still have no apparent clue. My life since then became pure dull and mundane. But up until this moment, two months has gone by, a part of me still longs for him;ther's a void in me that only he can fill: my heart still hopes that someday, he'd message me again. The memories that we had still made me smile even the littlest of things. And I'd love to have that kind of feeling once again; the excitement, the throbbing of my heart when receiving messages from him before. "IMY" if only you know, sadly I couldn't tell you this. letting you know that I've fallen once is enough. I'm just right here, waiting, and will always be. If you don't know how to come back, just send me a song. In God's perfect time, Hope we will meet again and start over again. #From P to P

Love and hatred?

Don't hate someone because they don't love you or leave you. Let's clear all the hatred, and replay all the moment that you are laughing, smile and loved. You need to know and understand yourself, Do you want her smile or her tear? Do you want her to be happy without you or it need to be you?

The friendship I valued the most..

To the friend I used to valued... Months ago, I had a female fiend who I talked to daily, I kept listen to her rant day to day, support her during her bad time. It is not that I had feeling for her or something. I just valued our friendship. Being friend is meant to valued each other, aint it? Then one day, she told me that she got into a relationship. I congratulated her and keep texting her as we used to. Then she barely reply to my text. It is not that I got jealous or something. But the friend who you trusted, you supported most, valued the most, turned their back after got into relationship as if you meant nothing to them. Was I been used? Was I have done something wrong? Is it mean they don't want you anymore? Or is it mean you are out of their used? I don't know. After that, I decided to silently walk out of her life. Knowing that my effort has no meaning to them.(what's suck most, is she never asked or notice my absence) I still hope you have a great life, live happily. From the person who out of your used.

I don't want to give up.

I am depressed, insecurities filled my mind, anxiety consumed my daily life. I am filled with hate and resentment towards myself. I want to be happy but I just can't seem to be, I put on a fake smile in front of everybody but I am getting very exhausted doing so. I want to keep going but I feel like I am on the edge of the cliff and I am about to jump...! I cried for help but my family didn't seem to care, not many people seem to care, am I worthless? What is my purpose in life? Why am I here? Somebody help me!

I almost do-- Taylor swift

I almost contacted you again, but everytime I almost did, I remembered how we're nth to each other. Everytime I almost did, I scrolled through our chats and I saw how pathetic I was. Almost begging for your love. Everytime I almost did, I remembered how you would let me go back home alone. How you had time for everyone else but never for me. How you forgot everything you said. How you told me you would do this and that for me but you never did. Every little things you said you would do. It's the details that matters and show me how much you love me. Turned out I couldn't feel the love at all. I remembered how hopeless and broken I felt to see you never want to give me the title, to never want to commit into the relationship, to never think of us. It was the last straw that broke me. Broke us. They said loving someone too much will make them stop appreciating you, I guess that's true. I gave up my pride for you for so many times. Let's keep this last one for myself. Take care.