2025-08-14
My aftermath
It’s been 4 months now. I had bread with condensed milk today and my tears drop at the last bite when I saw us. I saw the time you eat muffin in Uni every morning and think to myself I would never date the guy but then you appeared in class. I saw the time when you were mean to me just so we can get closer. I saw countless topics you would pick on me and we would fight on purpose. I saw the time when we went on the first trip, I would never get why anything you tried to relay, so that night with sounds of the sea under the stars I asked and there I got myself a confession that I never expect. I saw you driving me home in others car or would took trains with me so I can go home safe and we can see each other a little more. I saw us going to the beach at 2am. I saw the time we got frustrated just cuz we really want the “best” best for each other when we were stubborn at times. I saw the time when you only show the silliest side to me and not others. I saw the time when I was being dramatic on purpose so i can see you fight for me more cuz that’s lovely. I saw the time when I said harsh things just to see how much you can take. I saw the time when we went back to visit Bodia together for the first time and you would have a hard time being with my friends and how uncomfortable you look becuz you were guilty of hanging out everyday being with a girlfriend rather your family while you visits and you don’t even enjoy it. I saw the time when I stood you up outside my friends house becuz we fought and I was crying in the room endlessly just to hear my friend telling me you are outside waiting for me, of course I regret it days after. I saw the time when you danced off to rewards from your efforts. I saw the time when stayed together 24/7 which I loved and hated, more like love. I saw the time when touching your cheeks, your hair, annoying you is my favorite things in a day when the city is locked down. I saw the time when we had our last hug at the airport during Covid which I never thought would be the last. I saw the time you had your first job and i would bombarded you with questions every day about it. I saw myself crying over the fact that you tried so hard to not burden your family and actually be that “son”. I saw the time you tell me your weird dreams, the one straight outa movie and shockingly the one we shared on the same night. I saw the time you would get emotional when talking to your family which I always feel guilty for hurting you in a way after. I saw myself becoming distant gradually becuz of the distance after you started it. I saw myself adoring you in secret and act the other way round everyday. I saw myself bragging about you to my mom just so she can prepare for the man her daughter choose. I saw you stopped liking me but the love stays, you couldn’t get out of the relationship that suffocates you at all. I saw myself realizing how much you meant to me, and I realized it even more when we called it quit. Just how much I actaully love you. I never regret every seconds in the relationship we built. You will always be part of who me. Without you I would never know what true love is. I would never get to love someone as much as my life. I would never know what sacrifice feels like. I would never get to experience so much life. I would never be an adult I am today. I would still choose to fall for you all over and over again if we can go back in time. Thank you for the growth, the honesty, the man that you are and what we had. Its a real farewell yeah?
Goodbye, tvt
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