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I just started to talk with others so I could forget you but the more I do the more you cross my mind, I hate it that I always compare them to you. And I would still choose you. :) I couldn’t believe that you chose to trust others’ words instead of mine who’s supposed to be your partner who’s supposed to spend the rest of our life together. You know I actually cut others off just for you, there are some friends who told me bad things about you and I don’t even hangout with them anymore because I know you, they don’t. I was alone for quite awhile but then I make new friends at school. But you betrayed me, you listened to others and decided to end things with me. I was so disappointed but there’s nothing I can do because it showed me the amount of trust that you actually had in me. I don’t know if you hate me now or that you never actually love me in the first place because now you already blocked me. Plus the last day (BD) that we saw each other (as couple), you didn’t even want to talk to me or even sit near me. I feel like I’m such a fool for loving you, I saw many red flags from the start , since the time you don’t even tell me your socials to the time you talked about posting each other and many more but still I decided to act blind. I told you I was never in a relationship before so I was so clueless not sure what to do, how to act. And the first serious relationship? Now you just make my anxiety and trust issues worsened. You should have look at your cousins as example in how they treat their girls you know. See the difference from how you treated me? “If they wanted to, they would.” Also, whenever I told you what I don’t like about your behavior, you always got so offended and started to send me texts after texts when all I wanted to do was to communicate how I felt. That’s why I just started to become silent cus I hated arguing with you (bad choice right because we stopped talking to each other since then). Anyways, I really hope you treat your next partner right. Take care. My former ❤️🔥
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I used to be mad. I used to look back and wonder where I went wrong, and took all the blame. I wondered why would you ghost me like I never mattered. One day our friendship was flourishing–filled with laughter and late-night text messages and venting–the next, it was gone. I used to wished that our long/ funny conversation will come back. It hurts to know that we used to be so close, and now it’s like I don’t know you at all. I feel as though you don’t want me anymore. What do we all talk about, do we talk about past things to catch up on, or do we just act like no time has passed?. We’re not as close as we were before. There are days when I am so happy and that the person I want to talk to you is you. I want to tell you every detail, the entire story, and I want you to listen. There are other days where that high isn’t there when I feel low, and I just want you there to listen or to talk about anything else. Those days are when I miss you the most.There are some secrets that I could never tell another person, but I can easily tell you. Some days I wonder if we will ever be that kind of friends again. Sure, I look back and still smile on the times that we have had, the moments we had shared, the jokes, the laughter that filled our friendship. I have no idea how you feel about our friendship right now. But I am here, in case you make that step back. I am also here, wishing nothing but the best for you: laughter, that all your dreams come true, and all the happiness in the world. I’d like to let you know that our friendship meant everything to me. Thank you for the good memories that you leave behind. I hope wherever you are, you’re happy with yourself. I hope you have found peace with your problems–the people who had hurt you in the past. I hope you finally find something you love and let it consume you. I hope you find a guy who truly treats you the way you deserve.
Day by day, I started to know where I stand in everyone’s life. I’m that friend who is there when they need something. I’m that daughter who is responsible for every big and little things inside and outside the household. I’m that granddaughter who is just a female. I’m that sister who doesn’t deserve the respect. I’m that niece who got compared with the cousins’ parents and got hated by my own cousins. I’m that girlfriend who loves too much and also being a little too much that sometimes it suffocates him. Every eyes and words that look and say to me, make me feel small worthless. Whenever i try to explain what happen and both me, I got shouted back, not listening to me, first they comfort and still act the same. It’s hard coming home everyday and get the cold look from everyone and no one in the house actually talking to you. I have to repeat myself over 3 times to get the answer or someone attention. The only time I get someone to care enough for my well-being or existence is when I commit suicide.
Just as close as a family she said... So us having something secretive behind the group is considered a betrayal. Him being uncomfortable talking about it and is still unsure about me, her pushing me to tell everyone as soon as possible, so we can discuss about it with the group because what me and him are doing is considered to be more than sinful. Following her, will lose me him. Following him, will lose me her. Leave it as it is and we will all lose each other. And me being in the middle of it, makes it easier for me to blame it all on myself when I can't even fully understand what it's turning into. I love them so much, I love everyone so much. But can I just have a bit more time, "Her"? And can you give us a chance to try it in a different way , "him"? I know I'm so "immature" to you guys but trust me a little, will you? Because I'm so close to end me for the sake of everyone.
How to choose BTW the one who take care on you and they will come when we need the warm vs the one who advise us e.time but they didn't know how we need people to warm up us.
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we still talk, but it feels like everything changed. every conversation we have now just feels empty. I should be thankful that we still talk, but deep inside it’s like torture to me
Idk where to start so, 2018 the new term start and i got to meet her. She changed into my class with her friends. Her group and mine are two different world from eachother. Actually ik her even before she got to know me. We started studying in the same class, and extra classes. I really like her and i really wanna get to know her more. One day i reply her Instagram story and we got to talk. Later on, she replied my story, and here the our conversation started. We've been texting in Instagram for like about a year. We sometimes flex to messenger. I always asked her to send me lesson as an excuse to talk to her. At that time, those conversations were just normal but i was damn happy because i like her so... Her group and mine are still not boning together idk why but prolly idk lol. We were such a good talker in chat but in person lol awkward affff So 2020, COVID. We were still texting intelegram, messenger and Instagram. She always sent me her fav songs, what she watched on YouTube, forward me food or place or meme content from Facebook to messenger, and also send me video and meme, sth cute on Instagram. I did the same too. Ik you prolly can't feel the feeling from reading this but ... Sorry I'm not so good at expressing So here let me continue Idk but tbh covid got us both close to eachother. We talked everyday, she texted me just to tell it time for extra classes, or else send me food. She sometimes went out and when she's back, she always told me about her day tho i don't ask. Tbh i confused. I myself i know i like her, i mean i have feelings for her but what about her? She did like we're sth. Idk how to explain it all here but later on when 2020 about to end, we don't talk anymore, she just went silent on me and i have no clue what to do till now. My friends all know i like her, they also said they bet her group also know about this but no one dares to say. One of my friends said, I'm too obvious whenever it comes to her, she prolly knows but pretend like she doesn't. Hmm but it doesn't matter anymore. Right now i only wish she and i can still be friends. The thing is i only got to see her like 3 to 4 times in this 2021. And the last 2 times, she didn't even talk to me or even look at me. Heartaches lol. I was there like...? You didn't see me? Or what? She has changed... I mean she's not that excited to see me like before. Before whenever she saw me she always comes to me amd hit me as a greeting hut now lol, even my face she didn't even look at. You might wonder what happened between us. Seriously i have no answer cuz I don't even know what's wrong, she just gone silent and ... You won't see this anyway so imma just write it here